if your long term bf went to a haloween party alone....

  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Oct 07, 2011 10:21 AM GMT
    without you...without even asking you if you wanted to go with him...and kept texting you pics of the progress he is making on his costume...would you be upset?
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    Oct 07, 2011 11:47 AM GMT
    rnch saidwithout you...without even asking you if you wanted to go with him...and kept texting you pics of the progress he is making on his costume...would you be upset?


    Yes. Yes I would be upset and legitimately so.

    He didn't ask if you did or didn't want to go. He just made up your mind for you and didn't give you an option and to add insult to injury he's texting you pix of his costume in progress which, in my opinion, is just disrespectful. Who does that? An asshole with a assholish sense of humor.
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    Oct 07, 2011 11:48 AM GMT
    Why don't you ask him why he didn't invite you..
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    Oct 07, 2011 12:21 PM GMT
    Idk I mean.. In this situation, Im gathering you don't live together. I would think it's cool that he's even texting you progress shots of his costume. That right there tells you he wants you involved. And besides.. Who says you need to be attached to his face 24/7 anyway? Enjoy your space. Is it wrong he wants to be social without the added pressure of having to look out for you all night? Especially if he just wants to go and get trashed. There's no indication he's going to cheat on you.. So why freak out about it?

    The only time this would bother me, would be if this was a normal, everyday thing. If he constantly left me to go to parties and chill with his buds with no invite... Then yeah. Fuck that.
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    Oct 07, 2011 12:42 PM GMT
    Lol, is your boyfriend socially retarded? And i don't mean that offensive. I mean, how can you have a long term bf and NOT go together to a haloween party? What, you watch tv and eat and sleep separately too?
    He should've known better...
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    Oct 07, 2011 12:55 PM GMT
    My straight friends are more considerate than that.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Oct 07, 2011 12:59 PM GMT
    Just to be clear, are you saying he "went" to a halloween party alone, or is he "planning on" going to a halloween party alone? (Past tense or future tense)
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 07, 2011 1:24 PM GMT
    Possibly...because when he started going places without me was the time that my boyfriend started dating his ex again. icon_cry.gif
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    Oct 07, 2011 1:37 PM GMT
    WEIRDEST ? EVER.
  • davidnta

    Posts: 86

    Oct 07, 2011 1:57 PM GMT
    rnch saidwithout you...without even asking you if you wanted to go with him...and kept texting you pics of the progress he is making on his costume...would you be upset?


    It would depend. I wouldn't be upset if it was a party with douchy people and they were his friends. If it was a party where there's a mix of both of our friends then I would be upset.

    It would seem like he's texting costume pics because he assumes that you wouldn't care to go to this party and that's one reason why he didn't ask.
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    Oct 07, 2011 2:22 PM GMT
    Did he go to a party with straight people who do not know he is gay?
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    Oct 07, 2011 2:52 PM GMT
    CutePete saidLol, is your boyfriend socially retarded? And i don't mean that offensive. I mean, how can you have a long term bf and NOT go together to a haloween party? What, you watch tv and eat and sleep separately too?
    He should've known better...



    How can you have a long term BF and not live together?
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    Oct 07, 2011 2:59 PM GMT
    rnch saidwithout you...without even asking you if you wanted to go with him...and kept texting you pics of the progress he is making on his costume...would you be upset?



    It would raise a red flag. Now, if this trend continues into the holidays and the BF has plans without you for Thanksgiving, you find no gifts under the tree for you from him at Christmas, and he rings in the New Year without you, you might want to start getting worried icon_eek.gif
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    Oct 07, 2011 3:01 PM GMT
    absolutely ! well the next time we talk about his Halloween party, ignore it. Use one word wonder icon_razz.gif better yet, throw a Halloween party for your nieces and nephews (if you have any) Create your fun and show him what hes missing out.

    Or you could ask him why he doesnt want you to go with ...
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    Oct 07, 2011 3:03 PM GMT
    When you asked him why he was going without you and didnt mention it, what did he say?
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Oct 07, 2011 4:46 PM GMT
    It's odd, but you need to ask him why he didn't invite you. It is entirely possible that he thinks he did. Give him the benefit of the doubt if this is an aberration regarding his typical behavior.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Oct 07, 2011 5:36 PM GMT
    rnch saidwithout you...without even asking you if you wanted to go with him...and kept texting you pics of the progress he is making on his costume...would you be upset?
    Nahhh...I'd jus hook up with his best friend and send him pics of the 2 of us fuckin......
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 07, 2011 6:44 PM GMT
    rnch saidwithout you...without even asking you if you wanted to go with him...and kept texting you pics of the progress he is making on his costume...would you be upset?

    I'd break my foot off in his ass.
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    Oct 07, 2011 6:54 PM GMT
    If Halloween wasn't my anniversary, I don't I'd be to pissed. I think space is important
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    Oct 07, 2011 7:00 PM GMT
    This sounds like a failure to communicate on his part. If this is your long term bf then it should have already been established who was going where and with whom for Halloween when he started making the costume. It is Halloween after all and it isn't unreasonable for you to expect that you would spend it together. If he is looking for space and wants to go it alone, he needs to tell you so that you can make your alternate plans (relationship wise or just for Halloween).
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    Oct 07, 2011 7:01 PM GMT
    fucked up.

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    Oct 07, 2011 7:11 PM GMT
    rnch saidwithout you...without even asking you if you wanted to go with him...and kept texting you pics of the progress he is making on his costume...would you be upset?


    I would be. Heck, when my straight friends have a get together and the people invited are all people I know too, but I don't get invited, then I get really ticked. Like what's with that.
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    Oct 07, 2011 7:19 PM GMT

    Get your own costume and stalk him.
    He's practically begging you to do that.



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    Oct 07, 2011 7:23 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidMy straight friends are more considerate than that.


    It's time for a conversation.
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    Oct 07, 2011 7:27 PM GMT
    KentuckyTuss saidIdk I mean.. In this situation, Im gathering you don't live together. I would think it's cool that he's even texting you progress shots of his costume. That right there tells you he wants you involved. And besides.. Who says you need to be attached to his face 24/7 anyway? Enjoy your space. Is it wrong he wants to be social without the added pressure of having to look out for you all night? Especially if he just wants to go and get trashed. There's no indication he's going to cheat on you.. So why freak out about it?

    The only time this would bother me, would be if this was a normal, everyday thing. If he constantly left me to go to parties and chill with his buds with no invite... Then yeah. Fuck that.


    This. Don't spend too much time together, and never assume that you're automatically invited to everything he is—that's rude and presumptuous on your part.

    Granted, the guy should cover it a little bit by asking what your plans might be (which also shows he cares that you're happy while also making it clear you'll be apart that night). But like Kentucky said, he is keeping you involved. He's not running away, he's not hiding, and he's not flaking.

    But for serious: it's important that any two people maintain not necessarily separate but at least distinct social lives. If you want to bring each other into almost everything that's your choice. But make sure the option for independence is at least there. Develop a code. "We --" is an invite. "I'm ---" is not an invite, and you shouldn't ask for one. And if you start running into a lot more "I'm ---" than you're comfortable with then, well, there's the writing on the wall for you.