'SIR"


  • Oct 08, 2011 5:58 AM GMT
    I am new to the gay world..i met this guy and he has been using the word sir in his emails to me. is this some type of role play? am i suppose to be responding to him a certain way? Example he might say I would like to meet you for lunch sir. sir i want to help you put ur shoes on, pls. will someone tell me what's up..i feel like a fool and i do not want to ask him. thxs
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 08, 2011 7:17 AM GMT
    It's called Dominance and Submission (D&S). The submissive wants someone else who is in control, wants to serve the dom, and the dom likes that. Calling him Sir is a form of respect or just sucking up.

    Your sub either enjoys calling you Sir because he pictures you as his Dom, or maybe he thinks you're expecting it and is waiting for you to tell him it's not necessary.

    If this doesn't interest you, you should assert that but quick.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 08, 2011 1:45 PM GMT
    I agree, you might be into it (without knowing it yet) but if you aren't, you'll probably just feel really foolish pretty quick.

    You can let him know you're not into sub/dom or power play.

    folsom.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 08, 2011 2:28 PM GMT
    Is it always necessarily S&M stuff? I thought it was just playful when younger guys did that, especially when it followed a joke (e.g. good one sir)

    However that could explain why there weren't second dates with those types because I didn't tie them up and hit them with a whip on the first date like they are traditionally used to icon_neutral.gif
  • hawkeye7

    Posts: 565

    Oct 08, 2011 2:39 PM GMT
    I had someone get a little aggresive with me and start telling me what I was going to do for him. I had to set him straight, I expalined that first of all we were on date and that secondly I am a man, not his property or anything else.
    I am still blown away that modern gay men participate in this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 08, 2011 2:39 PM GMT
    The masochist to the sadist
    '' beat me! hit me! ''
    the sadist
    '' noooooo'' icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 08, 2011 2:55 PM GMT
    hawkeye7 saidI had someone get a little aggresive with me and start telling me what I was going to do for him. I had to set him straight, I expalined that first of all we were on date and that secondly I am a man, not his property or anything else.
    I am still blown away that modern gay men participate in this.

    ....said the guy who was once stripped naked and tied up outside.
    RAWR.


    icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 08, 2011 3:33 PM GMT
    I would bet that if he's calling you sir, he at the very least wants YOU to make the moves, and for you to take controll. It doesn't always mean he wants to be gagged and whipped. He's probably just unsure what to do and likes the idea of being controlled.

    If that's what you're looking for then awesome. But if you're wanting a 50/50 split relationship then I would talk about that as soon as it's convenient.

    If he's hot, try to at least hit it a few times before. ;D
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 08, 2011 3:35 PM GMT
    SkinnyBitch saidIt's called Dominance and Submission (D&S). The submissive wants someone else who is in control, wants to serve the dom, and the dom likes that. Calling him Sir is a form of respect or just sucking up.

    Your sub either enjoys calling you Sir because he pictures you as his Dom, or maybe he thinks you're expecting it and is waiting for you to tell him it's not necessary.

    If this doesn't interest you, you should assert that but quick.


    No really ? rofl ..never knew that ...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 08, 2011 3:36 PM GMT
    for me it use to be a role play thing. Now its just that I am old enough to be called it. I get confused sometimes when people use it.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 08, 2011 3:37 PM GMT
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 08, 2011 3:39 PM GMT
    spaghettimonster saidIs it always necessarily S&M stuff?icon_neutral.gif


    It all depends on the content of the e-mail. If S&M is intended then the "SIR" is always capitalized while the "i" referring to the sender is always lowercase.

    However, I have many younger guys who call me "Sir" out of a mutual friendship/respect, so it could go either way. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 08, 2011 3:45 PM GMT
    well I was going to say he may just be military and is used to it especially if you're older then him.. but i never had a PFC offer to help me put my boots on.. lol..
  • hawkeye7

    Posts: 565

    Oct 08, 2011 4:03 PM GMT
    Beaux said
    hawkeye7 saidI had someone get a little aggresive with me and start telling me what I was going to do for him. I had to set him straight, I expalined that first of all we were on date and that secondly I am a man, not his property or anything else.
    I am still blown away that modern gay men participate in this.

    ....said the guy who was once stripped naked and tied up outside.
    RAWR.


    icon_lol.gif

    to the DG anchor ...do you know you are evil.......that was done by 18 year old pledges at my fraturnity so that the beautiful sisters of Delta Gamma could rescue me. it was kind of kinky
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 08, 2011 5:55 PM GMT
    Yeah, seems like he's trying to establish a dominant/submissive relationship structure.

    Then again, are you sure you're not emailing Marcie?

    nerdsmarcie.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 08, 2011 10:01 PM GMT
    I hated being called that for years.. Glad I'm retired now! Them young wippersnappers( I think thats how ya spell iticon_rolleyes.gif ) have no manners anymore!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 09, 2011 12:04 AM GMT
    Dahas saidYeah, seems like he's trying to establish a dominant/submissive relationship structure.

    Then again, are you sure you're not emailing Marcie?

    nerdsmarcie.jpg

    The OP was talking about a gay relationship with a guy, not a lesbian relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 09, 2011 12:11 AM GMT
    hawkeye7 saidI had someone get a little aggresive with me and start telling me what I was going to do for him. I had to set him straight, I expalined that first of all we were on date and that secondly I am a man, not his property or anything else.
    I am still blown away that modern gay men participate in this.


    QFT. Preach, brother.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 09, 2011 1:21 AM GMT
    I use it as a form of respect.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 09, 2011 8:58 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    Soulasphyxi saidI use it as a form of respect.


    Southern boys do that. Not good to do in the gay arena, you might meet the wrong guy some time and he'll tie you up and put you in a cage.
    icon_eek.gif


    I will need to remember this.
  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Oct 09, 2011 9:01 PM GMT
    Soulasphyxi tied up in a cage isn't a bad picture icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 09, 2011 9:20 PM GMT
    Thank you sir. May I have another?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 09, 2011 9:38 PM GMT
    s- strangulated

    i-incarcerated

    r-reducible

    hernias?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 09, 2011 9:42 PM GMT
    Or he's just from the South.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 09, 2011 9:43 PM GMT
    dancedancekj saidSoulasphyxi tied up in a cage isn't a bad picture icon_smile.gif


    LOL OH gosh