Reasons Why or Why Not

  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 08, 2011 7:03 PM GMT
    alone-1-1.jpg
    I just read an article that listed a few reasons as to why many gay men have problems finding someone. I'll admit that some of them I had never thought about before.

    1.They keep attracting the kind of partner who's wrong for them.

    2. They're unrealistic in their standards, when they look for a guy.

    3. They have weak social and dating skills.

    4. They fear losing their personal freedom.

    5. They have a difficult time establishing relationships because of internalized homophobia or intimacy fears.

    6. They get involved with emotionally unavailable men.

    7. They become overly-focused on the flaws of the men they date.

    8. They try too hard at finding love and appear clingy and needy.

    9. They have preconceived thoughts and notions such as: "Gay men aren't capable of having long-term relationships", "All the good ones are taken"; "I failed at relationships before, so I will again"

    Interesting....icon_wink.gif





  • Neurons

    Posts: 537

    Oct 08, 2011 7:15 PM GMT
    Because they're men.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 08, 2011 7:18 PM GMT
    TheKrisPandemic saidBecause they're men.


    Well, the one about internalized homophobia surprised me. icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2011 9:22 PM GMT
    malefeet saidalone-1-1.jpg
    It's because there aren't enough guys like the one pictured above to go around.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 08, 2011 11:07 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    malefeet saidalone-1-1.jpg
    It's because there aren't enough guys like the one pictured above to go around.


    But, he's just your plain ordinary everyday country boy....the type nobody likes anymore. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2011 11:10 PM GMT
    I think mine are 1, 3, 6 and 8..

    i also have 9, though I do not act based on my pre-conceived notions, I am aware that i still have them
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 08, 2011 11:14 PM GMT
    GreenHopper saidI think mine are 1, 3, 6 and 8..

    i also have 9, though I do not act based on my pre-conceived notions, I am aware that i still have them


    My main one is probably # 2...although I have dealt with # 6 also.
    ( Meaning that I probably expect TOO MUCH out of the younger guys and NOT ENOUGH out of the older guys that I date)
  • sonnet129

    Posts: 116

    Oct 08, 2011 11:19 PM GMT
    malefeet saidalone-1-1.jpg
    I just read an article that listed a few reasons as to why many gay men have problems finding someone. I'll admit that some of them I had never thought about before.

    1.They keep attracting the kind of partner who's wrong for them.

    2. They're unrealistic in their standards, when they look for a guy.

    3. They have weak social and dating skills.

    4. They fear losing their personal freedom.

    5. They have a difficult time establishing relationships because of internalized homophobia or intimacy fears.

    6. They get involved with emotionally unavailable men.

    7. They become overly-focused on the flaws of the men they date.

    8. They try too hard at finding love and appear clingy and needy.

    9. They have preconceived thoughts and notions such as: "Gay men aren't capable of having long-term relationships", "All the good ones are taken"; "I failed at relationships before, so I will again"

    Interesting....icon_wink.gif







    Check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check.

    Okay. Now what?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2011 11:59 PM GMT
    I WAS the "emotionally unavailable man" for a long time after being hurt over and over again. Then, I started working on myself and only when I was right in the head did I find the man of my dreams icon_biggrin.gif

    The rest have never really applied to me, unless you consider fat homely girls "the wrong kind of partner".
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 09, 2011 12:01 AM GMT
    LVmotoJock saidI WAS the "emotionally unavailable man" for a long time after being hurt over and over again. Then, I started working on myself and only when I was right in the head did I find the man of my dreams icon_biggrin.gif


    I am sorry for your pain and happy that you are now with the man of your dreams. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2011 12:43 AM GMT
    I find a lot of this is true.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2011 1:17 AM GMT
    <---- 3, 6, 7, 8
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2011 1:18 AM GMT
    Most of these points would seem to apply to straight people as well. I think the problems are just compounded for gay men because there are fewer of us to begin with.