A Little Problem

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2011 1:14 AM GMT
    Ok, so I'm 19 and I've been talking to this guy. We seem to be connecting very well and we are planning a date in the near future. The problem is my size. I discussed this before but now it is knocking on my doorstep. I have a 5 incher, 3ish flaccid, and I'm concerned about what affects its going to have on my dating aspirations.

    I havent informed him yet, and I feel I should get the truth out soon before any strong emotional attachment develops. That way, if he dumps me, it will be easier to bare. But when and how I'm still figuring out.

    If he is somehow ok with it, then I have the worst problem, which is that I become impotent and cannot get hard when I see my dick. Last time I tried having sex, I was so embarrassed by the thing I couldnt get hard at all. I tried to angle myself so the guy couldnt see it. When he started grabbing at it I nearly freaked.

    So there's my issue. Even if I manage to convince this guy not to dump me because of my size, how can I make it so I can actually get an erection?

    Alchohol or drugs are possible, but not healthy sounding ideas. I also dont know his size, so ,maybe if he isnt too big I'll relax more. If he's a 7-8 incher though, I'm screwed.

    Anyone else been here? Any means of fixing this?

    Thanks!!! icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2011 1:25 AM GMT
    I'm gonna take a guess that your anxiety if affecting your sexual performance. Just calm the fuck down and it'll all be okay! Promise. I don't see the need to confess your insecurities to him either....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2011 1:29 AM GMT
    You're watching to much porn.
    Pretty sure you fall within the "AVERAGE" at 5in.
    Once you get out there you'll find you're above average and most men add as much as 2 inches. Please don't be that guy.
    Some like it a little smaller; the prostrate isn't 10 inches deep.
  • qd2009

    Posts: 164

    Oct 09, 2011 1:36 AM GMT
    Ok, you need to relax. Not every guy is a size-queen, and some guys in fact like small --easier to blow :-). And by the way, by no means would I consider 5in small: I'd say, it's closer to average than anything else. (By the way, I'm 3in flaccid, too.. nothing to be ashamed of)

    You should think about all the good stuff you have: you are incredibly hot and cute (a rare combo) and you're still very young! And yes, I know that's hard given that you're so worried about your size. During sex, focus on your partner and enjoy what he has to offer.

    I had a similar problem where, instead of my size, I was worried I wouldn't get hard... and that made me stay soft. It was a vicious cycle, but after I trained myself to focus on my parnter, it was all fixed icon_smile.gif.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Oct 09, 2011 2:49 AM GMT
    Brettski said
    Alchohol or drugs are possible, but not healthy sounding ideas. />


    Despite what you see on the internet, your size is actually “average.” Not all gay men are size queens, despite their prevalence among Craig’s list posters. Although some men care about the size of their partner, most of us don’t give a hoot. You have not actually met this guy yet, right? Try going on a couple of dates first, knowing in advance that the dates will not culminate in sex. You’ll eventually be more relaxed if/when you do get in the sack.

    If you are still concerned, see a doctor and get a prescription for Cialis, Viagra, or Levitra (The erectile dysfunction drugs you see advertised all the time on TV.) (When you say "drugs and alcohol are not healthy ideas, are you talking about extacy? - which would probably work, but which I would not recommend.) These drugs actually work, and are a cheap substitute for spending 10 expensive sessions with a mental health therapist. They will pretty much guarantee a hard on. Try using them first once when you are alone, jerking off. I wouldn’t recommend making a habit of using them every time you have sex – a guy your age normally would not take them. Your “success” after using one of these drugs should make you more relaxed and comfortable when you have sex without using them. Follow your doctor’s advice on using them. But consider that many porn actors actually use these drugs when making films, to make sure they will be hard, and stay hard. A lot of men use them sometimes, even though they don’t technically “need” them, because the drug makes them harder than they otherwise would be.

    DON’T be tempted to answer any of those emails you may get to buy these drugs online – the drugs you may get in the mail may be phony – not the real thing – and not FDA approved.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2011 3:35 AM GMT
    My BF is about your size. I think it's perfect.

    I'm bigger + thicker and he finds it a bit hard to handle sometimes.

    You are watching too much porn. Not everyone is a size queen.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2011 4:55 AM GMT
    It sounds like to me you need to speak to a professional health counselor about your feeling about your penis. The sooner the better.

    And FYI, I love a penis about your size. PERFECT for bottoming.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Oct 09, 2011 5:02 AM GMT
    Cobalt saidMy BF is about your size. I think it's perfect.

    I'm bigger + thicker and he finds it a bit hard to handle sometimes.

    You are watching too much porn. Not everyone is a size queen.


    this (except I have no boyfriend atm)
  • wpc56

    Posts: 45

    Oct 09, 2011 7:23 AM GMT
    I was in your shoes... literally all your problems.

    I would suggest
    a) not touching yourself, don't cum for weeks
    b) try to relax
    c) let him know your concerns

    The problem is mostly mental, it highly unlikely you have impotence at your age.

    I would suggest getting viagra... once you know you can achieve erection during sex, you'll feel more confident about yourself and more relaxed.

    I mean at worst you can always bottom icon_wink.gif

    Just be honest, if the guy dump you for it... he's not worth your time anyway.

    As long as you can get him off, he will be understanding (unless he's a total bottom)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2011 7:28 AM GMT
    Are you a bottom? If you are, it doesn't matter, I'm a bottom and I would like to be less hung, hahaha, not that I'm huge but I'm a total bottom, I don't use it at all, I get embarrassed when the top is smaller icon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2011 7:33 AM GMT
    be confident dude, you can have the smallest penis in the world, but if you carry it with confidence, to them its huge as hell.

    i wouldnt suggest opening up to him with this, the fact that youre 5in will not make him run, but the fact that youre so insecure about it might make him think twice.

    Plus like everyone here has already said, 5 in is average, chill out and enjoy the ride ;).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2011 7:41 AM GMT
    Hey,

    Not just trying to be contrary to some of what the others are saying here, but I don't know if going to him with your "concerns" is really the best idea. You're still in the connecting phase and while he more than likely wouldn't actually be turned off by your size, he may not react well if he perceives you to be lacking confidence or sound pathetic otherwise. Seriously, there isn't anything wrong with your dick, so talking it up like there is could actually make him take a second glance and measure up what he probably would have just thought was a great looking dick on the hot guy he is with.

    Take it easy on yourself and seriously, tell your doctor your have ED from anxiety and have them prescribe you some viagra. Once the anxiety of losing your hard-on is out of mind you can spend more time experiencing how awesome sex is with someone you connect with and less of it demeaning a perfectly fine part of your body.

    icon_smile.gif

    Oh, and keep in mind, he could be just as nervous as you about his outward appearance.

    Good luck to you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2011 8:04 AM GMT
    Man just chill and enjoy the guys you date. As all the other guys here have said - 5" isn't abnormal dick size when erect. Don't believe that what you see in porn is normal. Most of the guys in porn are stars in the industry precisely because they are abnormal and the 1 hour of video that we see is the condensate of hours ..... sometimes days of taping before the camera with lots of enhancers pumping through their bloodstream.

    Just chill, enjoy yourself and the other guy and go with the flow. You'll be more than OK.
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    Oct 09, 2011 8:10 AM GMT

    I can tell you something, there is NOTHING more of a turn off than a guy who has hangups about his own body. Even if just his nose, or chin or his teeth...

    Yours appear to run deep and while others would say your size i average, I don't think anyone else will be able to convince you otherwise.

    Learn to love your body.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2011 8:17 AM GMT
    Be you, if he doesn't like it, then find the next one that will. It's not always about penis size. You could have a 10-incher and not everyone will want to continue a relationship with you. Just be you and you'll be fine.
  • suedeheadscot

    Posts: 1130

    Oct 09, 2011 8:20 AM GMT
    I'm mister average myself, and I fucking HATE big cocks. You can't suck on them without boking, and if you are top all you can do is just handle them. And being average means guys are a bit more confident in getting fucked by you. There are some guys who are size queens and can end up just getting disappinted/sore (!) so I think you'll find some guys will welcome you.

    Also, the cock is only part of you - its not the whole part. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts!
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    Oct 09, 2011 8:46 AM GMT
    Seriously, you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. If you really like the guy, focus on what you like about him, relax, and try to have fun. Once you are, biology will take care of itself. (This is called foreplay) If you have to, just turn out the lights.
    Another thing you can do is show him how you jerk off, what feels good to you. Let him know what works for you and what doesn't.

    And size isn't/shouldn't be an issue. There are people out there with 10" cocks who don't know how to use them, and vice versa. What's more, your man should be into you for more than your boner. If you want to bottom, tell him you want to take it slow, and make sure he understands what you want/need. If he can't be bothered with that, then you're better off without him.
  • yvrtwink

    Posts: 35

    Oct 09, 2011 11:18 AM GMT
    honestly, what's wrong with your 5-incher?? You're cute and you're equipped with an "average" sized cock. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. If the guy's a size queen that's his problem. It's not like you have a micro penis!! Get it out of your head that 5 inches is small, because it's not. icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 09, 2011 1:06 PM GMT
    Brettinski, great lovers know what to do with what they have.

    Would you really want a man who measures his feelings for you by the size of your equipment?

    warmly,

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2011 1:07 PM GMT
    Yvrtwink saidhonestly, what's wrong with your 5-incher?? You're cute and you're equipped with an "average" sized cock. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. If the guy's a size queen that's his problem. It's not like you have a micro penis!! Get it out of your head that 5 inches is small, because it's not. icon_smile.gif


    I agree!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 09, 2011 1:09 PM GMT
    That shouldn't count very high in anybody's "date rate" book and if it does
    he should be crossed off yours.

    You have many, many things that rate higher than cock size and I agree with the others, what the hell... its what you do with it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2011 1:30 PM GMT
    meninlove said Brettinski, great lovers know what to do with what they have.

    Would you really want a man who measures his feelings for you by the size of your equipment?

    warmly,

    -Doug

    Good advice from the 2 guys as usual, and lots of others here. Plus the OP might run into a guy like me (a younger version, of course), who LIKES average to a little smaller. (And the OP may be underrating himself for size)

    I LOVE smaller guys, because I'm a tender bottom who can't handle the big ones. Plus I love to give BJs, but hate to dislocate my jaw. I can do SO much more in my mouth with something that fits well, versus a choker.

    So relax, Brettski, you may have it "dicked" better than you know. True, lots of guys love to look at a monster, but something manageable is more easily made.
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    Oct 09, 2011 5:02 PM GMT
    I'm a bottom. No way in hell I can muster the audacity or confidence to top. I still think im too small to top. Looking in the mirror I just couldnt see myself topping. Still, I cant even jack off for the guy either, i simply to freaked out to get hard.

    So my options are:

    Viagra, ED meds - Willing to consider if this persists.

    No lights - Has helped in the past, but it takes the visual fun out of sex.

    Be confident - Not happening anytime soon. I hate my manpart way too much.

    Dont cum for a long time - Will do.

    "I can tell you something, there is NOTHING more of a turn off than a guy who has hangups about his own body. Even if just his nose, or chin or his teeth..."

    Well, Im hung up a lot of stuff. Wee wee is number 1. But I'll never tell any of it to a guy I date.

    So far this is helping. Thanks everyone! Any others ideas?
  • MCIC

    Posts: 211

    Oct 09, 2011 5:09 PM GMT
    Just relax and enjoy. if you don't dwell on it rising, it will.
  • KissTheSky

    Posts: 1980

    Oct 09, 2011 5:25 PM GMT
    Brettski saidI'm a bottom. No way in hell I can muster the audacity or confidence to top. I still think im too small to top. Looking in the mirror I just couldnt see myself topping. Still, I cant even jack off for the guy either, i simply to freaked out to get hard.



    You've gotten a lot of great advice here so far. I also prefer avg.-sized guys your size. Plus you've got a lot of other things to offer: you're very handsome and thoughtful, just to name two.

    I would add this: what about making up your mind that the first couple of encounters with your man, you decide in advance that you're just going to get him off with a blow job or hand job? You don't even have to take off your pants. Just get him hard and then tell him you'd like to make him feel good. He's not going to turn down a blow job from a cute guy like you. icon_biggrin.gif
    Once you've successfully done this a couple of times, you could move to mutual j/o, mutual blow jobs, etc.
    My point is, you don't have to jump right into fucking. The lead-up can be just as good.