New and slowly coming out.

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    Oct 10, 2011 4:47 AM GMT
    Ok... I'm very new to the gay scene and discreet. I know I'm not ready to deal with it to the comfortable level yet. How do you get there? I really wanna just kiss a guy first.

    I will post a semi picture soon.
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    Oct 10, 2011 5:42 AM GMT
    It is all about taking your time, coming out when you are ready
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    Oct 10, 2011 6:53 AM GMT
    that pic went up quicker than I thought
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    Oct 10, 2011 7:01 AM GMT
    Kidmc is right. Everyone comes out at their own pace, you'll know when the time is right. As for experimentation there are bars and clubs for that, if you dont mind that kind of thing.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Oct 10, 2011 7:04 AM GMT
    Kidmc21 saidIt is all about taking your time, coming out when you are ready


    This is good advice above, I think you would be surprised how many people already know. I don't have good gaydar, but I would think you are gay from your pic. Especially now that so many gay porn stars have very similar tattos.

    Only you will know who and when to tell.icon_idea.gif
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    Oct 10, 2011 7:06 AM GMT
    nah... bars are not my scene really. it was fun in my early 20's
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    Oct 10, 2011 7:07 AM GMT
    MikemikeMike said
    Kidmc21 saidIt is all about taking your time, coming out when you are ready


    This is good advice above, I think you would be surprised how many people already know. I don't have good gaydar, but I would think you are gay from your pic. Especially now that so many gay porn stars have very similar tattos.

    Only you will know who and when to tell.icon_idea.gif


    right.... I need some new ink which im thinking of. lol!! not that it makes a difference but I like ink, always have.
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    Oct 10, 2011 7:50 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidYa look cute! You won't have any trouble finding that first kiss. icon_biggrin.gif

    As for the different stages of coming out, there is no schedule...no blueprint. Usually fear keeps us in the closet (fear of the unknown about how our social and familiar relationships will change). It's a very confining space, and a lot of the "best things" of being gay aren't very available to people in the closet --afterall, it's hard to ask others for support for something you're still denying. icon_wink.gif So for a lot of us (imo) there's just a point where you can't bear it anymore and you have to tell someone important in your life. Like a chick breaking out of an egg, when the time is right, you'll crack that shell and your world will open up. It snowballs from there and becomes easier each time (of course, family is another order of magnitude, lol, but you'll probably find that it's important that they know, too, at some point.)

    But you are in total control of what and when. You decide when you're ready for each step.

    Welcome to RJ. Keep posting in the forums...it's a great place to get a bit of experience in gay social situations. icon_biggrin.gif


    Thanks!!
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    Oct 10, 2011 10:23 AM GMT
    Can't say I'm an expert, as I too am going through the process. I guess you take it one step at a time, one day at a time. I've made friendships through this site with a couple of guys I eventually was able to talk with. Its been helpful. And read these forums. There are a few very reasonable voices out there. Anda few nut jobs as well icon_biggrin.gif

    Take care and good luck. And if you need a local guy to talk to, I'm in your area, and just a couple steps ahead of you. icon_smile.gif
  • coastguy90814

    Posts: 661

    Oct 10, 2011 10:31 AM GMT
    DudeNB saidOk... I'm very new to the gay scene and discreet. I know I'm not ready to deal with it to the comfortable level yet. How do you get there? I really wanna just kiss a guy first.

    I will post a semi picture soon.


    These posts just show so much ignorance and immaturity. "New to the Gay Scene" but yet the post title " New and slowly coming out". Coming out has really nothing to do with the so called "Gay Scene". It's frickin 2011, come out already.
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    Oct 10, 2011 10:44 AM GMT
    coastguy90814 said
    DudeNB saidOk... I'm very new to the gay scene and discreet. I know I'm not ready to deal with it to the comfortable level yet. How do you get there? I really wanna just kiss a guy first.

    I will post a semi picture soon.


    These posts just show so much ignorance and immaturity. "New to the Gay Scene" but yet the post title " New and slowly coming out". Coming out has really nothing to do with the so called "Gay Scene". It's frickin 2011, come out already.

    Don't be a douche, buddy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2011 10:50 AM GMT
    Take your time and do it the way that you want to do it. Think of it as "letting in" rather than "coming out" -- less pressure that way. You're sharing something personal with people you care about rather than treating it like admitting you've done wrong.

    I'd suggest finding a gay social group in your area that's centered around something you like to do. I'm part of two gay running groups and I know there's a bowling league and other stuff like that in my area.

    Good luck man.
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    Oct 10, 2011 2:54 PM GMT
    DTP_82 said
    coastguy90814 said
    DudeNB saidOk... I'm very new to the gay scene and discreet. I know I'm not ready to deal with it to the comfortable level yet. How do you get there? I really wanna just kiss a guy first.

    I will post a semi picture soon.


    These posts just show so much ignorance and immaturity. "New to the Gay Scene" but yet the post title " New and slowly coming out". Coming out has really nothing to do with the so called "Gay Scene". It's frickin 2011, come out already.

    Don't be a douche, buddy.


    Serious dude.... Chill everyone has their time and place. Actually your immaturity and ignorance just shows that you are a little boy still.

    Don't jump down his throat. It may be 2011 but that doesn't mean he has to be comfortable with his sexuality. Especially when you have people in the media that wanna hold progression back into the dark ages. It can be scary for some.