TRUST

  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    Oct 12, 2011 7:34 AM GMT
    Why is it so hard to trust men? Grr
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    Oct 12, 2011 12:53 PM GMT
    Because trusting someone makes you vulnerable and when people think that they're vulnerable and that are 2 emotions nobody likes. I guess
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    Oct 12, 2011 12:56 PM GMT
    Grrr writing on the cell is just aweful.

    should be:...and when people think they're vulnerable they get scared and that...
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 12, 2011 12:57 PM GMT
    I don't have an issue, until there is a reason given not to do it.

    I afford my bf all the trust .... I never look through his things, never quiz him about his time or what he does. We have a long distance relationship, but he has a room here at my house. His room is his business.
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    Oct 12, 2011 12:58 PM GMT
    Justtrying saidBecause trusting someone makes you vulnerable [...]

    Justtrying said[...] and when people think they're vulnerable they get scared [...]


    Also, I wouldn't confine that fear to trusting men.
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    Oct 12, 2011 1:04 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidI don't have an issue, until there is a reason given not to do it.
    I afford my bf all the trust .... [...]


    I'm reminded of the kid who says to his father: "You didn't marry a stranger, you married Mommy!"
    LOL

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    Oct 12, 2011 1:12 PM GMT
    JohnBJock saidI treat all guys with a clean slate.
    They are aware of my expectations and I respect their privacy.
    Because I am trustworthy, I have to assume that there are others like me. You have to give the guy the benefit of the doubt or else its a relationship built on suspicion.
    But this isn't baseball for me,...one strike and you're out.


    Too naive. Too extreme.
    Giving the benefit of the doubt should afford at least three strikes.
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    Oct 12, 2011 1:30 PM GMT
    BuddyinNYC said
    JohnBJock saidI treat all guys with a clean slate.
    They are aware of my expectations and I respect their privacy.
    Because I am trustworthy, I have to assume that there are others like me. You have to give the guy the benefit of the doubt or else its a relationship built on suspicion.
    But this isn't baseball for me,...one strike and you're out.


    Too naive. Too extreme.
    Giving the benefit of the doubt should afford at least three strikes.


    I don't agree. I don't think it is extreme at all, considering what he said before that: BECAUSE I am trustworthy, I have to assume that there are others like me.

    If he (or other people like myself) are trustworthy and do not do shady things to people whether it be friends or potential boyfriends, than why should someone get more than one chance to "break" trust (I'm referencing major trust dealbreakers and things that would upset the masses/majority of gay/straight people in relationships). I feel that if someone does something once, then what will stop them from doing it again?

    Trust is very hard to earn and very easy to break and I feel trust or lack thereof is the downfall of a lot of people's relationships.

    To the OP: I know the feeling of not trusting or feeling unable to trust people... sometimes the gut instinct is right, but sometimes, it's a paranoia inside of you that YOU need to work on before you ruin something potentially good because of it... speaking from experience icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 12, 2011 1:55 PM GMT
    running11 said
    BuddyinNYC said
    JohnBJock saidI treat all guys with a clean slate.
    They are aware of my expectations and I respect their privacy.
    Because I am trustworthy, I have to assume that there are others like me. You have to give the guy the benefit of the doubt or else its a relationship built on suspicion.
    But this isn't baseball for me,...one strike and you're out.


    Too naive. Too extreme.
    Giving the benefit of the doubt should afford at least three strikes.


    I don't agree. I don't think it is extreme at all, considering what he said before that: BECAUSE I am trustworthy, I have to assume that there are others like me.

    If he (or other people like myself) are trustworthy and do not do shady things to people whether it be friends or potential boyfriends, than why should someone get more than one chance to "break" trust (I'm referencing major trust dealbreakers and things that would upset the masses/majority of gay/straight people in relationships). I feel that if someone does something once, then what will stop them from doing it again?

    Trust is very hard to earn and very easy to break and I feel trust or lack thereof is the downfall of a lot of people's relationships.[...]


    We are all humans, with faults and bad days. Some days are better, some days are worse. Giving a stranger/person a clean slate and only one chance is ridiculous if you are to consider yourself a reasonable person.

    I too consider myself trustworthy and do not do shady things to people. I also know that I am not perfect and never will be (though I always strive to improve, often as a result of a regretted fault). I have misjudged others unfairly and regretted it (without them knowing that I misjudged or that I regretted it). Things happen and are sometimes perceived totally distorted. People should be treated as they themselves want to be treated. Being wary or perhaps somewhat suspicious of a stranger is completely within reason- strong relationships sometimes start that way.

    Real trust is earned, and investments take time.



    running11 said
    BuddyinNYC said
    JohnBJock saidrikes.
    [...] To the OP: I know the feeling of not trusting or feeling unable to trust people... sometimes the gut instinct is right, but sometimes, it's a paranoia inside of you that YOU need to work on before you ruin something potentially good because of it... speaking from experience icon_smile.gif


    Agreed!
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    Oct 12, 2011 3:08 PM GMT
    because they can't stay the fuck off Grindr and Manhunt.
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    Oct 12, 2011 4:32 PM GMT
    ncujock saidbecause they can't stay the fuck off Grindr and Manhunt.


    Spoken like a true jaded gay man! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 12, 2011 4:35 PM GMT
    Because they hoes
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    Oct 12, 2011 5:48 PM GMT
    running11I know the feeling of not trusting or feeling unable to trust people... sometimes the gut instinct is right, but sometimes, it's a paranoia inside of you that YOU need to work on before you ruin something potentially good because of it... speaking from experience


    I think you just nailed that shit on the head
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    Oct 12, 2011 5:54 PM GMT
    running11 said
    ncujock saidbecause they can't stay the fuck off Grindr and Manhunt.


    Spoken like a true jaded gay man! icon_biggrin.gif


    And a true whore. Know from experience much ncujock?
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    Oct 12, 2011 6:03 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    running11 said
    ncujock saidbecause they can't stay the fuck off Grindr and Manhunt.


    Spoken like a true jaded gay man! icon_biggrin.gif


    And a true whore. Know from experience much ncujock?


    He coined the term douchebags of manhunt and grindr
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    Oct 12, 2011 6:03 PM GMT
    Men are evil. Become a lesbian.
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    Oct 12, 2011 6:09 PM GMT
    The_Guerrilla_Sodomite saidMen are evil. Become a lesbian.


    You mean gain ten pounds, wear cargo shorts EVERYWHERE and stop shaving?
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    Oct 12, 2011 6:13 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    Cash said
    The_Guerrilla_Sodomite saidMen are evil. Become a lesbian.


    You mean gain ten pounds, wear cargo shorts EVERYWHERE and stop shaving?
    Well shit. I guess I'm a lesbian.


    it's the vest