Help! I will not fall victim to a closet gay!

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    Oct 14, 2011 9:51 PM GMT
    Im desperately in need of some insightfulness here. Im a straight female in a serious relationship and simply looking out for my future. I have serious doubts about my partners sexual orientation because he has looked for hook ups with other men on the Internet before we started dating and cheated on me with one of his gay friends in the past. He likes to have his prostate rubbed on and didn't mind the idea of me taking him with a strap on up until recently. I asked him if he is gay or bisexual and he completely denies it saying that he doesn't like furry buttholes. In a recent conversation about swinging, he said he wouldn't mind having a guy do him in the butt while he takes me. Honestly, I don't judge him for him sexual orientation, but I will not marry him (I am pregnant with his kid) if he is indeed gay. If he were bisexual, I wouldn't care, but I can't be with someone who is lying to himself about his sexual preference (which would not include me, a female), and it is completely unfair to me! Help!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 14, 2011 9:56 PM GMT
    troll much?
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    Oct 14, 2011 10:02 PM GMT
    If you are offended by my Asking for help, that's on you. I am not here to offend anyone but ask for help because I have no one to breach the matter with and though some gaysay be able to give me insight so I can move on with my life. Gay or straight, stupid is stupid. If you don't have anything helpful to say and want to start an ignorant and hate filled flame warm, fuck off.
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    Oct 14, 2011 10:50 PM GMT
    i say stop doubting ..mmaybe hes bi,as long as he didnt cheat with another gurl and he doesnt fuck alot of guys its ok in my opinion.

    good luck with the baby!
  • iowaboy86

    Posts: 12

    Oct 14, 2011 11:10 PM GMT
    Is he hot?icon_redface.gif
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    Oct 14, 2011 11:15 PM GMT
    At 50, your vision is already failing. You've confused us for Dr. Phil

    Doctor-Phil-moron.jpg

    VS.

    34038_logo.jpg
    (I guess I can see the resemblance.....?)

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    Oct 14, 2011 11:16 PM GMT
    I am confused and do not want to get hurt later because he decided that he is gay. I think i have a very legitimate concern. He knows that I could care less about people's gender preferences and that Im too humble to fuck him over with child support in addition to my love. I know for a fact he is somewhat bi because of his contradictory behavior but I need to know that he is not in denial of being simply gay or that he's undergoing a self discovery process of being gay.

    @iowa, he is a good looking guy. Cute to say the least and bulky build. @thepenis, In a gay forum community, there may be someone who has been in my fiance's situation and can give me insight.
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    Oct 14, 2011 11:17 PM GMT
    I know of one person that can answer your questions...


    (Hint, his baby is tucked in your uterus)
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    Oct 14, 2011 11:21 PM GMT
    @thepenis, I hope you're not gonna say its me because the truth is I can't possibly know when he himself seems to be confused.
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    Oct 14, 2011 11:22 PM GMT
    Crancherry said@thepenis, I hope you're not gonna say its me because the truth is I can't possibly know when he himself seems to be confused.



    You're getting warmer....
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    Oct 14, 2011 11:24 PM GMT
    Crancherry said..... but I will not marry him (I am pregnant with his kid) if he is indeed gay..... Help!


    Hey, strap on, you sound like the open-minded type.
    Don't be a dip shit.
    You're knocked up.
    De bait is off de hook.
    If he asks you to marry him, sink your claws in and don't let go.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 14, 2011 11:24 PM GMT
    "Gay", "Straight", and "Bi" aren't fucking black, white, and grey...



    My thoughts? He has been as open with you as he is able to be... He has sought your advice, and told you about these thoughts, actions... People aren't as simple as the labels we put on them.


    If you still trust him, go ahead with the relationship.... But it's obvious you need work.


  • iowaboy86

    Posts: 12

    Oct 14, 2011 11:27 PM GMT
    Crancherry said
    @iowa, he is a good looking guy. Cute to say the least and bulky build.

    Well then, I say don't marry him.. why risk your future and happiness, think of the child. As for your baby's daddy... send him my way, I'll take care of him for you
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    Oct 14, 2011 11:30 PM GMT
    CrancherryIm desperately in need of some insightfulness here


    By the way, you need INSIGHT, we can't give you a quality you don't have.
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    Oct 14, 2011 11:39 PM GMT
    @beaux I leave it up to him to financially support his kid even if we're not together, but I don't expect it of him if he were to lead an unsuitable lifestyle. @thepenis, I realize how complex some people can be and I don't expect him to know himself so determinately, but I hope there is someone who will help me further realize the reality of my predicament. I have limited insight and that's why I'm here
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    Oct 14, 2011 11:40 PM GMT
    Btw, insightfulness is a noun.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 14, 2011 11:41 PM GMT
    Crancherry said I will not marry him (I am pregnant with his kid) if he is indeed gay.




    If he were gay, I don't see how you would have had sex with him in the first place. Those are called bi-sexual. If you are pregnant with his child then at least talk to him about everything, doubts, fears, hopes, etc.


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    Oct 14, 2011 11:45 PM GMT
    Crancherry saidBtw, insightfulness is a noun.



    I didn't disagree with this. But it's not what you need.
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    Oct 15, 2011 12:01 AM GMT
    @malefeet, I have already expressed my concerns with him to the utmost and we have very frank communication.

    I think at least for now, thepenis has helped reaffirm the fact no definite answer exists to my dismay...thanks to anyone to tried to help
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    Oct 15, 2011 12:06 AM GMT
    anyone else notice that crancherry's posting 2 other threads? js
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    Oct 15, 2011 12:21 AM GMT
    Why you think this is troll? ITs not exactly incendiary.. I can understand perfectly why a girl wouldnt want to marry a gay guy. in fact, i think its commendable she is willing to marry a bisexual guy (no girls around here would accept that)
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    Oct 15, 2011 12:22 AM GMT
    @notadumb, what's your point?? What makes you so special that you can give you two cents on someone's issue and I can't? It's amazing how the very people instigating trouble are accusing others oblivious to their purpose.
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    Oct 15, 2011 12:24 AM GMT
    @jake, exactly, what gives?
  • shawn06

    Posts: 337

    Oct 15, 2011 12:26 AM GMT
    Sexuality is a very complicated thing. However I highly doubt your bf is full on gay, it seems to me as he may be bi-curious at most. As a bi man myself who has went through a stage of being with a girl and having curiosities in mid-relationship, its highly likely that he would one day wish to try it out at least. Though one thing you have to understand is his love for you, do you honestly feel as though he loves you and wishes to be with you? If that's the case then you need to not worry and give him a chance.

    Just because a man is bi it does not mean he will become gay if he is even bi at all. Second, this does not mean the chances of him leaving you for a man are any greater than that of a woman. Just try to be understanding, you have common sense you know what is real and what is not. If you don't then you need to wake up and smell the coffee because you alone have allowed yourself to get in this predicament. If you love him then you should not doubt him. If indeed it is all a lie well then guess what marriage is about taking the chance and going with your gut feeling, sometimes you mess up but its life. There are many other possibilities of divorce later on down the line than just him becoming gay.
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    Oct 15, 2011 12:28 AM GMT
    It is more common than you think. Have you never wondered how very straight men can "turn" when locked up in a penitentiary?

    In the UK, I knew many straight men who confided that, although they had no desire for sex with men, they did want men to do things to their privates. These included Rugby players with wives and girlfriends. They confided in me because I like men, but don't want sex with them and they wanted me to hook them up with gay men for "benefits".

    The US is substantially different. If you like men you are "gay", whether you have sex with them or just show an unusual interest in WWE wrestling. As a result, it is more difficult for straight men even to engage in the sort of play fighting you see in most pubs in the UK. "That 70's Show" summarised it neatly when Donna joked that men engage in play fighting because they secretly like being touched by other guys.

    Provided he isn't copulating with a string of gay men whenever he's too drunk to hide his true leanings, I wouldn't be too concerned you're living with a closeted homosexual for whom your abilities as a wife leave him unsatisfied.