Depression / Loneliness and Spirituality.

  • sonuus

    Posts: 84

    Oct 15, 2011 7:16 PM GMT
    I would like to know, any spiritual practices/ traditional rituals/ Yoga have you followed to overcome depression or loneliness, which can sometimes be very much a part of the gay life.
    Also does it help, I am asking this specifically because, I have tried to dabble in some eastern spiritual practices, but it does take while before you can noticeably see any changes or overcome the “inner loneliness”.

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    Oct 15, 2011 7:24 PM GMT
    Spirituality didnt help me overcome my depression, sad to say (ironic isnt it)... I think what helped me was focusing on people around me, ... not too sure, but it seemed when I would spend time with other people my depression would go away... when I was alone, I would just get horribly depressed...

    In fact, only after my depression was over I could become concerned again with spiritual stuff, since much of spiritual stuff tends to make me focus more into my own mind and can be depressing in itself for me...
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Oct 15, 2011 7:28 PM GMT
    Light.org
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    Oct 15, 2011 8:10 PM GMT
    From my own personal experience, I don't know if there are any solutions for depression and loneliness from a spiritual standpoint. It's easy to say just pray or meditate, but I think we have to identify what is causing this. I think we all can experience a bit of depression or loneliness from time to time. It depends on the severity of it. An inspiring read or movie helps. Do you know a minister with whom you could speak with? Volunteer work can help. I think my own sensitivity to what others say or treat me is what gets me into trouble.

    I wish I could give you more substantive words. Please mail me if you feel you want to talk further.
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    Oct 15, 2011 8:31 PM GMT
    You are a result of what you think....Buddha.
  • suedeheadscot

    Posts: 1130

    Oct 15, 2011 10:14 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    EastCoastNAZ saidYou are a result of what you think....Buddha.


    How dismissively profound.....


    Especially as my boss thinks he's really good with people and popular when in reality he's an asshole.
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    Oct 16, 2011 12:55 AM GMT
    I stayed very busy for a long time, reaching goals that I set for myself, and now that I have more time I have felt very lonely. I was invited to church by a friend. I don;t know if this is the answer for me.

    It interesting to me that loneliness and depression that I have is also shared with other people who are gay.

    I have always tried to be a positive looking person growing up and now I find myself at a cross roads in my life. I called my bother today who I haven't talked to in 3 years and he said he loved me and I could always talk to him, that made me feel good.


    So I am just starting to deal with this stuff. I think exercise and eating right, getting involved in something maybe even working in my community to help others lass well off than I.
  • kildrin

    Posts: 9

    Oct 16, 2011 4:27 AM GMT
    sonuus saidI would like to know, any spiritual practices/ traditional rituals/ Yoga have you followed to overcome depression or loneliness, which can sometimes be very much a part of the gay life.
    Also does it help, I am asking this specifically because, I have tried to dabble in some eastern spiritual practices, but it does take while before you can noticeably see any changes or overcome the “inner loneliness”.


    I have found a couple of spiritual paths that have really helped me with my depression and feeling like I don't belong. One is called Deeksha, it comes from India. Deeksha is an energy that awakens the mind to the universal consciousness, it reminds you that you and the rest of humanity are cells in a giant organism. the website is www.onenessuniversity.com
    The other practice i found is called Reiki. Reiki comes from Japan, it is a way to actually channel your higher power's loving energy to heal yourself and others. It heals on the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual levels, its been very powerful and life affirming for me. The website is www.reiki.org

    Namaste!
  • gymrat1

    Posts: 132

    Oct 16, 2011 4:34 AM GMT
    I did not read the whole thread..........but....I believe depression is for all intent and purpose hereditary. Unlike some of the comments I've read, I'm more of an introvert, and get depressed around alot of people. I feel safe, and happy in my own home.

    I practice yoga, and meditation, read the scripture, and workout and exercise. The seratonine and endorphine release u get from that is so much better than any SSRI.

    Good luck. If my post made any sense at all, please feel free to e-mail me, and we can discuss further............Doug.
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    Oct 16, 2011 9:10 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    EastCoastNAZ saidYou are a result of what you think....Buddha.


    How dismissively profound.....


    It's unfortunate that someone like you can't see how truly meaningful that phrase is and how much it really helps those who are in a state of depression. In fact, It's one of the simplest, yet most powerful words that exist.
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    Oct 16, 2011 9:39 AM GMT
    suedeheadscot said
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    EastCoastNAZ saidYou are a result of what you think....Buddha.


    How dismissively profound.....


    Especially as my boss thinks he's really good with people and popular when in reality he's an asshole.


    I'm trying to think of a simple way to explain the difference. In HIS mind, the way to be good with people and be popular is to act the way he does. So, his thinking is that he needs to act a certain way. Instead, he should be thinking that he is good with people and popular, without calculating how he acts, then how he is viewed by others and his popularity will change. I know it sounds a bit convoluted, but it's much simpler than it sounds.

    Anyway, to the OP, if you keep thinking you're depressed and lonely, then you will continue to be depressed and lonely. I know it sounds unreal, but by focusing on how I think every minute of everyday has snapped me out of my depression, suicidal thoughts, etc.
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    Oct 16, 2011 10:55 AM GMT
    this sounds counter-intuitive, but change ur behavior and ur mind will follow, not vice versa.
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    Oct 16, 2011 11:48 AM GMT
    sonuus saidI would like to know, any spiritual practices/ traditional rituals/ Yoga have you followed to overcome depression or loneliness, which can sometimes be very much a part of the gay life.
    Also does it help, I am asking this specifically because, I have tried to dabble in some eastern spiritual practices, but it does take while before you can noticeably see any changes or overcome the “inner loneliness”.



    Social physical exercise is good for depression and loneliness. Also, eat right for your blood type. See Peter D'Adamo's books. Yes, certain foods can contribute to depression.

    Pick-up a tennis racquet a can of balls, watch some videos of games and see what they're doing and do the same. It may be more excellent to watch videos from the 1970s. I can tell you why if you're interested.

    Astrology helps a lot with depression. Use astro.com for self awareness and compatibility. Also read Suzanne White's The New Astrology. You will also need to check out where your north node is. Jan Spiller books are wonderful for this. This is very critical. If your north node is at the west or north direction of your natal chart, you have to adjust to a nature of being single. Only when your north node is at the east or south direction, you are a person who partners well or has the company of family/relatives. Second, look at what's going on in your 7th house--not just your natal chart but your natal chart with the transits.

    As for depression, you may have a bad Mars transit. Look to see if there is an opposition or square affecting your natal Mars or your natal Moon. Why do I bring up Mars challenged as a cause of depression? Mars is our planet of energy. If your energy is challenged/under pressure, you will be depressed. Also if there is a change in direction from the direction of your natal Mars, you will be somewhat depressed. There are two types of depression in Astrology: challenges (opposition and squares) and direct vs. retrograde which just stops your energy of going forward in order that you reflect on your past momentum. Your momentum will pick up again.


    Hire an escort--not for sex but for intimate affection. Having someone to get nude with and hug/hold/kiss you for an hour will get you through for a while.

    Read Portrait of a Lady by Henry James or The Brothers Karamazov. Great literature with great characters is good for having no characters in your own life.

    In addition to reaching out to people via realjock.com, also use meetup.com.

    Love,
    Steve

    Wishing you Wellness from Source
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    Oct 16, 2011 11:50 AM GMT
    Fill out your profile !

    You must list the sports you like.

    I cannot tell what you cheer.

    Sports allows us to get out of ourselves and cheer. Cheering is a happy activity.
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    Oct 16, 2011 11:57 AM GMT

    i tend to think that spirituality (or certain spiritual practices) can in fact bring out depressive states, but that is perhaps because you become more aware of your thoughts and notice things about yourself which you previosly did not...or a part of you seeks something higher and another part is resisting, and there is a conflict in the mind. Spiritual progress can probably throw up all kinds of things, it reminds of the indian myth about the 'churning of the ocean' - the ocean symbolising the mind. Everything is there in the ocean, I suppose obtaining the ambroisa of joy (from the churning) is inevitably going to bring out some poison (the depression etc) which is hopefully only temporary!!
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    Oct 16, 2011 9:51 PM GMT
    The antijock brought up something that I would like to expound upon.

    Clutter does contribute to blocked energy. Organizing one's living space is helpful.

    Go further and look into the principles of Feng Shui.

    Subtle energies can produce depression.

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    Oct 18, 2011 4:35 AM GMT
    If you or someone you care about is suffering from depression, or you think may be suffering from depression, seek professional medical help now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not after "giving it a few weeks to see if I feel better."

    Depression is a serious medical issue that, if left untreated, often gets worse over time or returns, and may result in serious injury or death. And there is no shame or dishonor in getting help. I for one think highly of anyone with the courage to reach out for assistance.

    Good luck and let me know if I can do anything for you.
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    Oct 18, 2011 4:41 AM GMT
    Try Jesus.
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    Oct 18, 2011 5:07 AM GMT
    I was more depressed when I was more spiritual. I felt a lot better about myself when I threw all of the superstitions that I had out the window and started focusing on myself.
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    Oct 18, 2011 5:27 AM GMT
    Xanax. In small doses, it helps with anxiety beautifully. The other thing you have to do is sort out the anxiety, the depression, the loneliness and the isolation from each other. They are related and often occur together but.... usually one symptom leads to certain feelings which lead to behavior that causes you to think you need to withdraw to protect yourself which leads to other behavior which leads to others withdrawing from you which leads to isolation. It ends up being one circle jerk. I would also encourage anyone going through depression to volunteer, perhaps even at an animal shelter. Perspective can do wonders.
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    Oct 18, 2011 5:41 AM GMT
    Tazo995 saidTry Jesus.


    Two of my friends just became "reborn" they are so happy it is irritating. They pray for everything....money, weather, even new hardwood floors.

    It may work ha
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    Oct 18, 2011 11:30 AM GMT
    Jesus is a plateau, not necessarily the highest plateau.Once you get there, you'll discover the Jesus floor has some structural issues. I feel sorry for people who land on this floor and stay without advancing.

    Jesus and Gospel music is good.

    Black Gospel music speaks to desperation.

    You ever see an action flick or a horror flick where someone is in trouble and they are screaming desperately? Depression can it highs of desperation as well. Some Gospel music meets people in their desperation.

    When Blacks were in very desperate situations, the Gospel music met them their. So, you can listen to Negro spirituals, you can listen to Gospel music of the early 1960s. You can listen to Aretha Franklin's Amazing Grace album/CD.

    In the mid '90s, there was Richard Smallwood and Daryl Coley.Daryl Coley sings to desperation a bit more than Smallwood who is into praise.

    In conclusion, this thread has given you some really good advice from many angles.

    Just forgot, the financial system weighs on us. Living in NYC is expensive. If money isn't an issue, you're blessed. If you have your physical health and youth, you're blessed.

    Look at your natal chart. Yes, there will be oppositions and squares. Know your trines and sextiles. Know your strengths and use them to pick yourself up. How can I use the aspects of my character to get over what I'm dealing with.

    Also, look at your transits and get an idea how long the bad transits are going to last. I went to meetup.com and put in the topic Astrology when I lived in NYC. I tell you, that meetup group read my life and saved me one Sunday. Life was tying me in a big knot and they untied it. We usually met on 5th Avenue at about 10th Street but that day we were at Kirk's job in near Chinatown.
  • TresDragone

    Posts: 1

    Oct 18, 2011 4:25 PM GMT
    I will admit before I respond that I have not read all of the posts. However I personally just came out (or am coming out) of a 3 month depression.

    I find that in the gay community we carry and manifest a lot of self guilt that in not necessary and often just accepting who we are can be a challenge. There is an author named Sark.... fabulous self love stuff. But in a fun and interesting way. My favorite is entitled Prosperity Pie.

    I also found talking about my feeling more honestly and seeking therapy for the issues that are too personal to ramble to everyone.

    I personally am feeling better and more like myself, sadly it took me this long to truly love the man I am. Well besides time I had the help of a few close friends, two therapists, a psychiatrist, and a few meds.

    Spirituality to me is completely separate issue and had no play into my own recovery.

    Tres
    tresdragone@gmail.com
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    Nov 12, 2011 3:45 AM GMT
    Great question and topic to discuss. I think the universe embeds us with a sense for spirituality at birth. But it gets drowned out with all the noise of every day life. So I think you're on the right track.

    I don't mediate per se. But I'm lucky to live near a beach here in FL, and I love to go out there and take my shoes off. The sand feels SO GREAT under my feet. And its relaxing to hear the waves flap. My heart rate goes does and my mind slows down. All my mind noise starts to go away. I stop thinking about whatever crap is out there. This is when and where I feel like I'm realigning myself. I think I start to realize more of what my life priorities are.

    Most people have 1000's of things they want/need to do, but only time/money enough for a few. When you think about it...that's a bit depressing.
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    Nov 12, 2011 4:13 AM GMT
    Jmoney5678 said
    Tazo995 saidTry Jesus.


    Two of my friends just became "reborn" they are so happy it is irritating. They pray for everything....money, weather, even new hardwood floors.

    It may work ha


    I always found it rather ironic while God was so busy answering American prayers for stuff, he neglected to take care of the 30,000 kids who starve to death each day. Seems a rather egocentric view of God and prayer.