Am I datable?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 4:17 AM GMT
    Common question right?

    I think it has to come down to finding the right guy. I'm out, work out, and am driven, but does being in southern california (the OC), going to a private university, and not going to the clubs mean I won't find anyone until I'm 25+?

    OR

    Is it me?

    I welcome constructive comments men.... or berate me, either way I'll take any honesty you've got.

    Thank you

    *****Thank you all for your responses. I agree with most of what was written, with particular attention to broadening my ideal man, and also working on becoming the best version of myself. The question isn't if I'm datable, it's if I am ready. When I am, the guy will find me icon_smile.gif - 10/17/2011
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 16, 2011 4:34 AM GMT
    Passionplay88 saidCommon question right?

    Thank you


    Well, in your profile you seem to be looking for this: "He should be tall, good looking, confident, masculine, dominant at times, as well as thoughtful, engaging, and a great cuddler. "

    Alas, There are very few of us out there that match this description perfectly.

    From what I can tell, you already have the looks, do you have the personality to go with them? If you're ever in Vegas give me a yell. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 4:38 AM GMT
    Passionplay88 saidAm I datable?
    Just the fact that you felt the need to ask that on a public forum of strangers tells me the answer is probably no. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 6:02 AM GMT
    lol.. You are very physically attractive and you seem to be very intelligent as well; judging from your profile. So I'd say you are definitely date-able.

    But dating can be a little difficult under a sheltered lifestyle..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 6:15 AM GMT
    If you are not going to places where gay guys gravitates to (clubs, bars, gay neighborhood), on gay sites /apps, or bugging your friends to set you up, then it's gonna be a while.

    Unless you introduce yourself to every cute guy that you meet in your everyday life "Hi my name is _____ and I am a gay single."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 6:21 AM GMT
    Trollileo said
    Cityaznguy saidUnless you introduce yourself to every cute guy that you meet in your everyday life "Hi my name is _____ and I am a gay single."
    Yeah, that'll work...

    A few times. Led to some romantic / sexual rendezvous. Good job, me.

    64.give_yourself_a_pat_on_the_back.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 7:07 AM GMT
    Passionplay88 saidCommon question right?

    I think it has to come down to finding the right guy. I'm out, work out, and am driven, but does being in southern california (the OC), going to a private university, and not going to the clubs mean I won't find anyone until I'm 25+?

    OR

    Is it me?

    I welcome constructive comments men.... or berate me, either way I'll take any honesty you've got.

    Thank you


    It is a common question, but I think that the bigger question is what are you doing about it? Are you asking out guys that you find attractive?

    You'll never know until you try, and you can't fault yourself for doing so.
  • Tyinstl

    Posts: 353

    Oct 16, 2011 7:20 AM GMT
    Passionplay88 saidCommon question right?

    I think it has to come down to finding the right guy. I'm out, work out, and am driven, but does being in southern california (the OC), going to a private university, and not going to the clubs mean I won't find anyone until I'm 25+?

    OR

    Is it me?

    I welcome constructive comments men.... or berate me, either way I'll take any honesty you've got.

    Thank you


    Everyone is dateable.

    Even if you were undateable though, we wouldn't know it because we don't know you. I could be wrong but it sounds like you're just wanting a bunch of guys to tell you you're cute. Which is true, but it's a little transparent.
  • Diceroll

    Posts: 224

    Oct 16, 2011 7:26 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Passionplay88 saidAm I datable?
    Just the fact that you felt the need to ask that on a public forum of strangers tells me the answer is probably no. icon_razz.gif



    I agree with this - it's up to you to show people you're a good catch, not wait around for others to tell you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 7:29 AM GMT
    It sounds to me like you may need to work on self confidence? I'm not sure. I don't really know you. icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 7:31 AM GMT
    You're certainly cute enough to be datable but you're restricting yourself since you wrote on your profile "He should be tall, good looking, confident, masculine, dominant at times, as well as thoughtful, engaging, and a great cuddler", I prefer taller men too but the one shouldn't be taller, if he's taller, that's okay, but I'm not gonna discriminate against an amazing guy just cuz he's shorter than me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 10:53 AM GMT
    Passionplay88 saidCommon question right?

    I think it has to come down to finding the right guy. I'm out, work out, and am driven, but does being in southern california (the OC), going to a private university, and not going to the clubs mean I won't find anyone until I'm 25+?

    OR

    Is it me?

    I welcome constructive comments men.... or berate me, either way I'll take any honesty you've got.

    Thank you


    You're always datable, I have to agree, its a funny question to have to ask. But, you shouldn't ever feel you're not datable. If that's the case and you feel you're not datable, then no, you shouldn't date.

    You have to be comfortable with yourself before you try to date someone.

    Have you even dated someone yet? Have you given someone a chance to date?

    Have you gone on a date with someone yet? If you haven't put yourself out there and what I mean, by out there now is not on a site, but actually going out with someone on a real date.

    Don't be afraid to be assertive and show interest in a guy you want to get to know. You don't have to wait for someone to come to you, why not go and find him, take the initiative.

    And if the guys you like aren't coming to you, or don't respond to your inititiaves, why not see how a guy who does take the time to know you a chance.

    If not a chance, a one time, date even as friends to get to know people. I don't know your current situation with dating, but just throwing ideas out there.

    Why date someone who doesn't want to get to know you???
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 12:12 PM GMT
    Hypnotico saidYou're certainly cute enough to be datable but you're restricting yourself since you wrote on your profile "He should be tall, good looking, confident, masculine, dominant at times, as well as thoughtful, engaging, and a great cuddler", I prefer taller men too but the one shouldn't be taller, if he's taller, that's okay, but I'm not gonna discriminate against an amazing guy just cuz he's shorter than me.


    This. Seriously, even though I am tall good looking, confident, masculine, dominant at times, as well as thoughtful, engaging, and a great cuddler I would be turned off by having all my qualities checked off on a list like that. Maybe you should keep that to your self and appreciate it when you meet a guy with one or more of those qualities?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 1:05 PM GMT
    If you're 23 and you want to date and you've never been out with a guy, then you should ask yourself some questions and you might want to talk to someone (a friend or a good counsellor, no shame in that).

    How long have you been out? Three months? Three years? Are you being realistic about potential dates? Real guys don't look like fitness models and have airbrushed faces and perfect teeth. Real guys don't all have 9 inch cocks and make $100,000 a year and blond highlights or raven black hair and perfectly sculpted abs. So you need to ask yourself some tough questions.

    When you say "date" do you mean see on an ongoing basis or are you referring to getting laid? There is a difference. Figure out what you want, one or the other or both, and be honest with yourself and others. There is nothing wrong with either or both, but it's best to know what you're looking for.

    Just a few questions for you to ponder.

    And the short answer, as other people have pointed out, is that EVERYONE is datable. So either you're genuinely insecure and need help with this, or you're fishing for compliments. Either is cool... just figure out which is you. ;-)



  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 1:36 PM GMT
    Passionplay88I think it has to come down to finding the right guy


    WRONG.

    Perhaps you should BE the right guy, BE comfortable in your own skin, BE your own life, then it will happen when it will.

    via con dios.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 2:15 PM GMT
    You're a cute kid that seems to have things in order, school, work, etc... You're attractive with a nice smile too. The only thing that you might wanna consider is releasing your check off list of things that he should be. We all want the perfect ideal of what is on our mind but that is not reality. I'm not saying "don't lower your standards, but keep it real."

    I grew up in the O.C and lived coastal in Newport and Huntington for the last few years of collage until I moved to Santa Monica. Back when I lived there, there were a handful of gay clubs and bars, now I think there is just one and it's in Laguna and it bites. It must be difficult to hang out now and meet people. Have you been to long beach where there is more of a gay scene?

    If you wanna date, you are gonna have to get out there. Sitting won't get you anywhere. I also don't know your true personality. A lot of guys think they have what it takes to be in a relationship but clearly don't have any clue. This is not a 20's thing either. It is everywhere. They either think they are all that and more or have a CHECK list of requirements that a person must meet.

    If you are looking to expand your horizons email me. I have a lot of friends and a handful of them are in their mid to late twenties that like to go out a lot unlike my partner and I. We still like to go, but not 3 times a week. I could introduce you to some, maybe they could get you into a more social scene once in a while.
  • MrNomis

    Posts: 268

    Oct 16, 2011 2:21 PM GMT
    I've gotten to the point where i am just living my life and enjoying every moment of it... yes, it does get lonely and yes a times i want to have a partner but in all honesty i love my independence and or freedom... i suppose since the right man has not come along i will allow time to take its course and guide "us" my my partner and i together when the time is right... Do not be in such a hurry to find someone because when you least expect it will happen... Blessed Be! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 2:27 PM GMT
    Kalifornication The only thing that you might wanna consider is releasing your check off list of things that he should be.


    CORRECT.

    Human beings, one of which is what I ASSUME you wish to date, are not checklists. They are human beings.

    In addition to being handsome, a good cuddler, etc, he will have emotional insecurities, flaws, shortcomings, failures, etc.

    pax.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 2:33 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]BAMF said[/cite]
    Kalifornication The only thing that you might wanna consider is releasing your check off list of things that he should be.


    CORRECT.

    Human beings, one of which is what I ASSUME you wish to date, are not checklists. They are human beings.

    In addition to being handsome, a good cuddler, etc, he will have emotional insecurities, flaws, shortcomings, failures, etc.

    pax.


    This is correct too, we all have faults and insecurities. I love my partner for who he is, the good and the bad. That is what makes him, him! Luckily the good out weighs the bad by a lot. But accepting is what we all want right?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 3:00 PM GMT
    Passionplay88 saidAm I datable?
    Common question right?
    I think it has to come down to finding the right guy. I'm out, work out, and am driven, but does being in southern california (the OC), going to a private university, and not going to the clubs mean I won't find anyone until I'm 25+?
    OR
    Is it me?
    I welcome constructive comments men.... or berate me, either way I'll take any honesty you've got.
    Thank you


    Everyone is datable, question is to what extent is he desirable to the guy he wants to date. Someone who underestimates himself makes himself less desirable. Someone full of himself probably makes himself desirable to that same type.
    Also, I've seen some couples initially look unbalanced but they eventually grow into each other and then look like an appropriate match.
    In short it's going to happen when it happens. Not sooner nor later. Live your life as you want to, enjoy, get exposure, don't aggravate yourself or obsess about finding 'him', and you'll be doing the most/best one can.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 3:24 PM GMT
    u gonna find Mr/Right ... sooner or later !
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 4:03 PM GMT
    OP definitely has an ugly duckling syndrome!!!icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 4:05 PM GMT
    You're pretty datable by my standards.
  • matt13226

    Posts: 829

    Oct 16, 2011 4:36 PM GMT
    dude if you were closer to me i would be all over you, you are so hot im surprised all the guys aren't standing in a line just trying to take a look at you
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2011 5:07 PM GMT
    Passionplay88 saidCommon question right?

    I think it has to come down to finding the right guy. I'm out, work out, and am driven, but does being in southern california (the OC), going to a private university, and not going to the clubs mean I won't find anyone until I'm 25+?

    OR

    Is it me?

    I welcome constructive comments men.... or berate me, either way I'll take any honesty you've got.

    Thank you


    Hey guy. We are completely in the same situation, except I'm already finished with school but we are identical with everything else. I have asked myself this question millions of times. My only conclusion is that we just have to be in the right place at the right time, period. I know that it's not me and I'm guessing the same about you. We can put ourselves out there but it's up to the right guy to respond. I think this applies to anyone regardless of age, race, how attractive you are...it's just up to the right person to recognize you. So in essence, you're exactly right...it just comes down to finding the right guy. I am certain that it has nothing to do with you. It may not happen soon but it will happen later.