Have you ever been a recipient of Homophobia?

  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 16, 2011 6:02 PM GMT
    Homophobia.jpg

    It seems that with every generation it gets better, however many times homosexual people have to learn how to adapt to the harsh treatment and stigma that society sometimes places on them. Many gay people are not open with their homosexuality because they are often treated poorly for their choices.
    Those who are not gay need to learn how to tolerate the homosexuality of those around them, but how can you change homophobia?
    Some people are very open and accepting of gay people, however. Others are not so open, discouraging those who are openly gay.

    Homosexuality can cause a range of emotions, from elation and joy to anger, to shame and hate and each person must learn to deal with those feelings mentally and emotionally.
    Being gay in society today is still stigmatized in some areas, even in America, and can be dangerous. Many people still treat homosexuals with disdain and hate, threatening and even harming people for being openly gay.

    Have you ever been a recipient of homophobia by anyone, whether family, friends, co-workers or strangers?


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    Oct 16, 2011 6:24 PM GMT
    being fabulous comes at a price, a price that is often hard to swallow and endure.


    But that fabulosity is what we craze, is what we want .


    Fabulosity is about being true to yourself, is about accepting yourself, is about being treated equally by others because you're a human being.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 16, 2011 6:29 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidYa I think pretty much most gay people have experienced some sort of homophobia at one time or another. But homophobia is no excuse not to come out. There are many minorities that experience discrimination in one form or another. Generally, it comes in the form of someone else acting superior to them. The thing is, is that minorities can't hide who they are, and it is not fair to others (besides gays) that we hid who we are. I know first hand, because I am light skinned, and my mother is dark skinned (Spanish American Indian). When I have gone shopping with my mother I have watched throughout my life from the side as to how my mother is treated by cashiers and such. I notice their is a tone of rudeness and shortness and I see the look they give her in their eye. The minute I step up, all of a sudden their tone and demeanor changes. Yes, we can hide who we are, but it is not right, because others cannot hide who they are.


    I want to thank you for posting these very powerful words. It is not right nor fair that anyone should have to suffer discrimination or homophobia. I don't think it will happen in my lifetime, but I would love to see an end to all discrimination and homophobia.
    Also in trying to prove another point, let me ask: If you could avoid the persecution from others by hiding who you are, would you?icon_confused.gif
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    Oct 16, 2011 8:50 PM GMT
    I once had some troglodyte redneck cunt make a disparaging remark.....I reported her to the supervisor (gay) lol.....silly rabbit........icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 16, 2011 8:53 PM GMT
    malefeet said

    Also in trying to prove another point, let me ask: If you could avoid the persecution from others by hiding who you are, would you?icon_confused.gif


    Seriously, Will....don't you think that happens every minute of every day?
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 16, 2011 8:56 PM GMT
    turbobilly said
    malefeet said

    Also in trying to prove another point, let me ask: If you could avoid the persecution from others by hiding who you are, would you?icon_confused.gif


    Seriously, Will....don't you think that happens every minute of every day?


    From the responses from some of the guys on RJ on other topics...apparently not. It seems that some have been lucky enough to never have had to face any sort of homophobia. icon_confused.gif
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    Oct 16, 2011 8:57 PM GMT
    I was never in that situation and hope I'll never be. I am very temperamental when it gets personal
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    Oct 16, 2011 9:04 PM GMT
    I guess as I kid, I heard "fag" a lot, but I'm not sure they really thought I was gay. It's also used as a general insult. As an adult, I've never really had a problem, but I don't go advertising my sexuality. I suppose people who suspect I am gay could hold it against me, but I wouldn't know unless they came right out and said something.
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    Oct 17, 2011 1:34 AM GMT
    I've been the long time recipient of homophobia from my own brother. We don't speak, and after our parents are gone, I'm planning to let him go and not have anything further to do with him at all. I have to be civil to him and say nothing about him while my parents are still here but in the future I'll have peace. (I wrote him a "letter" in the forum called "Dear_____________" yesterday. That sums up how he has treated me).

    From others I'm treated just fine. I've only been the recipient of homophobic treatment from one employer after he found out about my sexuality. I was actually fired. Yes, it happens. They find another reason and give the dismissal a reason like "downsizing" or "restructuring" but in Arizona and some other places, you can be gone in the morning sometimes once they find out.

    icon_cool.gif
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4864

    Oct 17, 2011 2:02 AM GMT
    To answer the question, yes, I have been discriminated against because of homophobia. However, that was decades ago and the situation that gay men and women face today is much better.

    When I was 20, in 1959, I was disowned by my parents when I was outed to them.

    In about 1961, when I was living in a boarding house owned by two "Christian" evangelist brothers (at that time, it was more common for people to live in boarding houses), my roommate snooped in my desk and found some early gay liberation literature. He showed it to the other residents and got me evicted. That roommate was a very pious "Christian" who later became a lawyer and a politician. He acquired a reputation as a back-stabber and even put down people who belonged to other churches.

    As I have said many times before, people should not come out to their parents until they have achieved financial independence from them, unless they are confident that they will be accepted.
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    Oct 17, 2011 2:02 AM GMT
    The first person I came out to freaked out on me. It was my uncle and he knew I had a secret and was hinting I was different. He was staying with us that night and was drunk. We were the onle ones awake. He kept telling me it was okay and to tell him. When I did he flipped out... I threatened him and ran to the gym...at 2:30 AM.

    At 5:00 AM I was running on a treadmill, when I saw my brother annoyed and tired walking towards me. Apparently my uncle woke him up because I had ran away and he wanted my brother to "gather the family to fix me". My bro was confused but I left the gym with him for his sake, he was an engineering intern and had to go to work in 2 hours.

    My uncle was in the parking lot.
    I didn't know what to say but I was pissed. I knew my uncle was waiting outside the gym. I walked out and glared at him. He was pacing back and forth and he walked right up to my brother and said, "Did you know?"
    My brother had no idea what he was talking about and thought he meant going to the gym late at night.
    My brother replied, "well yeah...I knew he does it once in a while..."
    My uncle yelled "WHAT!"
    My brother then unknowingly says, "Hell I do it too sometimes."
    My stupid uncle then insults his girlfriend (now his wife) that she was just a cover-up slut.
    My brother reacts angrily obviously confused why he called his gf a name.

    I was silent up to now and had tears streaking down my face. My brother notices and his face tells me he's shocked to see my crying (and somewhat hyperventilating).
    I speak up and tell my uncle that he's wrong. I then say, "He's not gay...I am..."
    At this point I can't look at my brother. I don't know why I doubt him for a second but I really thought my brother was going to turn on me and team up on my with my uncle. Instead he was like, "What? Is that what this is about! So what? What's wrong with that?".

    I then tell my brother how I came out to my uncle and my brother's face is red. He turns to my uncle and says, "Who the fuck do you think you are? He's my brother, I don't care if he's gay. And if you say a word about this to anyone, I swear to God I will kill you!"
    At this point I've broken down and I'm openly crying. My brother pulls me into a hug and says that everything will be alright and that he has my back. My uncle is obviously dumbfounded by my brother's reaction. The girl comes out of the gym and looks at us and says, "I heard everything from inside. Do you want me to call the cops on this asshole?"

    I tell her that it's alright. My brother apologizes and yells at my uncle to get into the car. We drive to the train station and my brother basically kicks my uncle out. My uncle never said a thing during the ride. My brother looks at the time and its around 5:45 so he's like "Let's get breakfast". We have a great breakfast where my brother then tells me that i don't have to deal with that shit alone and that if i need his support to call him anytime. We then see on the TV some actors in the news and my brother is like, "So...is Antonio Banderas hot to you?" And so we talked about who was hot and who wasn't.

    I wrote a book icon_biggrin.gif
    Ever since then, I swore never to step down to anyone who had a problem with me being gay
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    Oct 17, 2011 2:11 AM GMT
    Yes, I've had a few boys in my 10th grade English class do it to me this year by mocking me with a gay lisp. (I don't really have much of one, but, well, you know...kids.)

    I deal with them in private and let them know that I will not be treated that way and that they do not want to go down that path (will get very uncomfortable and embarrassing for them).

  • hockeydude12

    Posts: 169

    Oct 17, 2011 2:25 AM GMT
    Haha, considering I am a project manager and oversee construction workers, I hear homophobic remarks everyday! I used to take it all to heart and it used to really upset me, however, I have learned to deal with it and just don't listen to it..not to mention I can let people go if it becomes too much. icon_biggrin.gif
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Oct 17, 2011 2:34 AM GMT
    Strange but true: I've had more problems because I am a Jew, and I have heard (in person) more antisemitic statements than homophobic ones.
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    Feb 03, 2012 1:14 AM GMT
    At my old job it was quite rampant, especially from the Journeyman I apprenticed under. He was very religious, and told me that "Faggots need to be shot in the streets." Considering I work in a dangerous environment at the best of times, I was not out at work. No reason to give them a chance to "accidentally" liven up a circuit or something on me. It happens enough by true accident, that accidentally on purpose is a way to get rid of someone you don't like. Other than that, it's been pretty good.
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Feb 03, 2012 1:22 AM GMT
    I dont think I ever have been actually, not directly anyway.
  • 1man

    Posts: 140

    Feb 03, 2012 1:28 AM GMT
    yes, from my family mostly.
  • Dbrad3693

    Posts: 227

    Feb 03, 2012 1:34 AM GMT
    Yes i have, by my entire football team, later had sex with a few, but yeah, the homophobia remained
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    Feb 03, 2012 1:43 AM GMT
    Dbrad3693 saidYes i have, by my entire football team, later had sex with a few, but yeah, the homophobia remained


    Fap, fap, fap...
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    Feb 03, 2012 1:43 AM GMT
    Yup.. had to confront a manager at work once after I heard he was talking shit about me. He denied it, but it stopped.
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    Feb 03, 2012 2:04 AM GMT
    Dbrad3693 saidYes i have, by my entire football team, later had sex with a few, but yeah, the homophobia remained


    Should have secretly taped it and hold onto it for future uses if it gets bad, lol. Specially if its coming from guys who youve had sex with. But thats just my occasionally revengeful nature. Or can always say "Well you werent complaining when my dick was up your ass...." Usually ends those kind of discussions lol.
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    Feb 03, 2012 2:15 AM GMT
    duh, i live in the South. And anybody who responds to that with "but you live in New Orleans" is deluding themselves. I've been called a faggot many times, been spat on, etc. And a lot of the time its just because of something stupid like the clothes i'm wearing or the car i drive. Its not like i go around waving a rainbow flag.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Feb 03, 2012 2:17 AM GMT
    Yes. Many drive by shoutings, especially near highway entrances. It's a great way to have your self-esteem lowered and to become angsty. >.>
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    Feb 03, 2012 2:50 AM GMT
    stratavos saidYes. Many drive by shoutings, especially near highway entrances. It's a great way to have your self-esteem lowered and to become angsty. >.>


    Why would it lower your self esteem? They're the scum.
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    Feb 03, 2012 3:13 AM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidI've been the long time recipient of homophobia from my own brother. We don't speak, and after our parents are gone, I'm planning to let him go and not have anything further to do with him at all. I have to be civil to him and say nothing about him while my parents are still here but in the future I'll have peace. (I wrote him a "letter" in the forum called "Dear_____________" yesterday. That sums up how he has treated me).

    From others I'm treated just fine. I've only been the recipient of homophobic treatment from one employer after he found out about my sexuality. I was actually fired. Yes, it happens. They find another reason and give the dismissal a reason like "downsizing" or "restructuring" but in Arizona and some other places, you can be gone in the morning sometimes once they find out.

    icon_cool.gif


    Have your brother and your former employer each post here to give their sides of the stories - then we'll decide.