When I look at myself I feel attractive, but...

  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Oct 17, 2011 12:04 AM GMT
    The lack of attention I get from the men I'm attracted to makes me feel ugly.

    And then I feel shallow when men I'm not attracted to come on to me and I say reject them.

    ...I feel so superficial and I feel like I have no right to be.

    But if I'm not...am I lowering my standards?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2011 12:08 AM GMT
    ur hot n u kno it gurl chut up
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Oct 17, 2011 12:11 AM GMT
    Perhaps you're appearing desperate to the guys ur attracted to?

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    Oct 17, 2011 12:21 AM GMT
    Anduru saidur hot n u kno it gurl chut up


    icon_lol.gif
    (literally just put that dvd into the Xbox)
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Oct 17, 2011 12:27 AM GMT
    Import saidPerhaps you're appearing desperate to the guys ur attracted to?



    That's probably what it is.
    I have a pretty dumb clingy personality.

    It's a huge quirk of mine.

    icon_sad.gif
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    Oct 17, 2011 12:37 AM GMT
    If it were a lack of attention from ALL MEN, I'd say you were ugly..

    It definitely has to do with the way you're acting toward the dudes you like, whether you're shy, or dumb and clingy... It happens.

    You'll find a comfortable approach... I'm damned sure that you can get most guys you set your sights on.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 17, 2011 12:49 AM GMT
    Little_Spoon said
    I have a pretty dumb clingy personality.icon_sad.gif


    I think this is it. Show a little confidence and assertiveness and you should have the world at your feet. icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 17, 2011 1:02 AM GMT
    theantijock said




    By the way, precisely how is it that being with someone who wants to be with you is lowering your standards? Is that thinking lowly of yourself? Is it thinking highly of yourself when you are attracted to people who don't want you? Is that not a little twisted?

    Be honest with yourself. As you reveal yourself to yourself you will unravel yourself. Desperado.


    I think what he meant by lowering his standards is that if he goes out with guys he's not attracted to, just because they're attracted to him, then he's settling and lowering his standards.
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    Oct 17, 2011 1:24 AM GMT

    You want some

    cheese-iditozobel.jpg

    With that

    wine.jpg??
  • YERTHICK

    Posts: 11

    Oct 17, 2011 1:31 AM GMT
    Little_Spoon saidThe lack of attention I get from the men I'm attracted to makes me feel ugly.

    And then I feel shallow when men I'm not attracted to come on to me and I say reject them.

    ...I feel so superficial and I feel like I have no right to be.

    But if I'm not...am I lowering my standards?


    I think all gay guys have these feelings once in a while, Little_Spoon...
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Oct 17, 2011 1:41 AM GMT
    Hypnotico said
    theantijock said




    By the way, precisely how is it that being with someone who wants to be with you is lowering your standards? Is that thinking lowly of yourself? Is it thinking highly of yourself when you are attracted to people who don't want you? Is that not a little twisted?

    Be honest with yourself. As you reveal yourself to yourself you will unravel yourself. Desperado.


    I think what he meant by lowering his standards is that if he goes out with guys he's not attracted to, just because they're attracted to him, then he's settling and lowering his standards.


    Quoted For Truth.
  • tautomer

    Posts: 1010

    Oct 17, 2011 1:56 AM GMT
    I have fought with this in my own mind very often. I have a few imperfections that I feel are deal breakers in the end, and I can obsess over them (luckily I think I am going to sort of one of them out later this year, as I actually can do something about it). It does seem like about 85% of the guys that approach me, and show interest, I am just not interested in. Not physically attracted to them. I am honest about it, and let them know, and it can be disheartening that is for sure. The worst is when someone approaches me without knowing what they look like, they seem to have a good personality, then when I see what they look like, it kills everything. That really sucks. Once in a blue moon someone who I do think is attractive will approach me, but either their personality won't work, or they're taken already the vast majority of the time.

    Approaching guys does seem to lend to a lot of deaf ears, but now and then I'll catch something, and it can become something more. You just have to approach it like you are getting to know a friend for the first time. If you go into it with that mindset, then you're less likely to screw up.

    In the end though, is it really 100% true that you get turned down by ALL guys you're attracted to? Even if just one or two respond, then that is indeed better then nothing.

    I just met someone the other day that I find physically attractive, has a fantastic personality for what I need, and I approached him. It's definitely got potential to become something more too. It can happen, just keep looking.
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    Oct 17, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    You sound kind of like me. It's a bad circle. Try to stop it.
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Oct 17, 2011 10:26 AM GMT
    TrevorMark saidYou sound kind of like me. It's a bad circle. Try to stop it.


    I do.
    It's just something that bothers me from time to time.

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    Oct 17, 2011 10:31 AM GMT
    Everyone gets that - attention from guys they don't fancy, nothing from guys they do - that's just life. Hopefully you'll find one where the feeling is mutual, until then stop stressing about it and just focus on being the best guy you can be.
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    Oct 17, 2011 12:55 PM GMT
    Pure saidEveryone gets that - attention from guys they don't fancy, nothing from guys they do - that's just life. Hopefully you'll find one where the feeling is mutual, until then stop stressing about it and just focus on being the best guy you can be.



    such encouraging words. OP, I hope you heard it. It's a very healthy dose of reality. Good luck icon_smile.gif
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Oct 19, 2011 9:27 PM GMT
    Pure saidEveryone gets that - attention from guys they don't fancy, nothing from guys they do - that's just life. Hopefully you'll find one where the feeling is mutual, until then stop stressing about it and just focus on being the best guy you can be.


    icon_biggrin.gif