For those who play a sport, how do you feel about teamcest?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2011 1:57 AM GMT
    So there is a new hot guy on my water polo team, and I think he is so damn dreamy. Is teamcest wrong? Thoughts...
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    Oct 17, 2011 1:58 AM GMT
    Not at all.

    Makes the showers more fun icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2011 1:59 AM GMT
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2011 2:52 AM GMT
    No one likes teamcest :-(
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2011 2:54 AM GMT
    I do but I don't play or watch sports.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Oct 17, 2011 3:00 AM GMT
    I think it's ok, as long as you're not being paid and accept the risk that someone may have to leave the team if things end particularly badly.

    /speaking of dreamy, how are you, op?
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    Oct 17, 2011 3:01 AM GMT
    DCEric saidI think it's ok, as long as you're not being paid and accept the risk that someone may have to leave the team if things end particularly badly.

    /speaking of dreamy, how are you, op?


    Not being paid? Like paying the guy to have sex with me? That would be awkward!

    Oh not being professional. Ok yea I get it. Im not dreamy but right now Im super excited about the cutie I met. He is a PhD student :-)
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    Oct 17, 2011 3:33 AM GMT
    Chainers saidSo there is a new hot guy on my water polo team, and I think he is so damn dreamy. Is teamcest wrong? Thoughts...


    Honesty undercuts shamefulness.

    If you want a hookup, make it clear that is all you want. Do not mislead into the LTR fantasy.

    If you want the LTR fantasy come out swinging for the fence and see what kind of reaction you get.

    Teamcest is only bad when you are not honest about the endgame. That is when it causes problems. Otherwise, you become the cute couple.
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    Oct 17, 2011 4:20 AM GMT
    spaghettimonster said
    Chainers saidSo there is a new hot guy on my water polo team, and I think he is so damn dreamy. Is teamcest wrong? Thoughts...


    Honesty undercuts shamefulness.

    If you want a hookup, make it clear that is all you want. Do not mislead into the LTR fantasy.

    If you want the LTR fantasy come out swinging for the fence and see what kind of reaction you get.

    Teamcest is only bad when you are not honest about the endgame. That is when it causes problems. Otherwise, you become the cute couple.


    I agree with this. Truth be told nothing will probably happen from it. But it is nice to admire
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    Oct 17, 2011 5:07 AM GMT
    I feel the same about dating someone on a team as I do about dating someone from work.
    If (or for you Chainers: when) things end (badly?), you don't want to make things things awkward with your team.
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    Oct 17, 2011 8:52 AM GMT
    If he has a big dick I'm surprised you've even waited long enough to ask! icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2011 10:19 AM GMT
    Trollileo saidMy professor told us we weren't allowed to have homosectional relationships.


    Full of WIN!

    Is this dude even gay?
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    Oct 17, 2011 2:25 PM GMT
    Pure said
    Trollileo saidMy professor told us we weren't allowed to have homosectional relationships.


    Full of WIN!

    Is this dude even gay?


    Yes he told me he was and it is a gay sports team. Thanks for all the attacks guys and they say I'm a mean girl icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2011 2:57 PM GMT
    I think you have to decide how important the team is to you versus the guy. Can you still have as much fun playing water polo if you hook up with this guy and things go nowhere or date him and have things go badly? I don't think you should assume the worst; that's not fun. But you should at least consider it. Heck, things might go well and you'll never post again since you're in conjugal bliss 24/7.
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    Oct 17, 2011 3:02 PM GMT
    imasrxd saidI think you have to decide how important the team is to you versus the guy. Can you still have as much fun playing water polo if you hook up with this guy and things go nowhere or date him and have things go badly? I don't think you should assume the worst; that's not fun. But you should at least consider it. Heck, things might go well and you'll never post again since you're in conjugal bliss 24/7.

    Never post again! That's like half of rjers wet dream.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2011 3:11 PM GMT
    Haha! Again, a choice of priorities Chainers, which would you take:

    1) conjugal bliss 24/7
    2) RJ forums

    I'm actually not sure what you'd choose.....

    I have a friend who is brutally honest and very opinionated so we play "Dealbreakers" with him. You describe a guy with certain traits that could be good or bad and he says whether it's a dealbreaker or not. For example, missing limbs are okay as are stutters. However, unfashionable clothing and body odor are out. My favorite one is would you date a guy who was perfect in every way 24/7 who on his birthday wanted to dress in drag, go out to a really fancy restaurant and be called Nancy? Chainers, would you?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2011 3:12 PM GMT
    We've had a lot of couples in our team. Always found it's bad end...
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    Oct 17, 2011 3:18 PM GMT
    imasrxd saidMy favorite one is would you date a guy who was perfect in every way 24/7 who on his birthday wanted to dress in drag, go out to a really fancy restaurant and be called Nancy?


    I believe Chainers prefers to be known as 'Miss Nancy' actually!

    Is that condition dependent on going with him to the restaurant? As in, be seen out in public with him?
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    Oct 17, 2011 3:21 PM GMT
    Pure said
    imasrxd saidMy favorite one is would you date a guy who was perfect in every way 24/7 who on his birthday wanted to dress in drag, go out to a really fancy restaurant and be called Nancy?


    I believe Chainers prefers to be known as 'Miss Nancy' actually!

    Is that condition dependent on going with him to the restaurant? As in, be seen out in public with him?

    I would like clarification on this one as well. Do I have to be seen with him?
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    Oct 17, 2011 3:24 PM GMT
    Pure said
    imasrxd saidMy favorite one is would you date a guy who was perfect in every way 24/7 who on his birthday wanted to dress in drag, go out to a really fancy restaurant and be called Nancy?


    I believe Chainers prefers to be known as 'Miss Nancy' actually!

    Is that condition dependent on going with him to the restaurant? As in, be seen out in public with him?


    Yes, you have to take him out and be seen with him. He's your boyfriend/partner! Who doesn't take their boyfriend out for dinner on his birthday if that's what he wants to do?!?!
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    Oct 17, 2011 3:25 PM GMT
    imasrxd saidYes, you have to take him out and be seen with him. He's your boyfriend/partner! Who doesn't take their boyfriend out for dinner on his birthday if that's what he wants to do?!?!


    I'm mean. I'd tell the bitch we're ordering in and to STFU.
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    Oct 17, 2011 3:28 PM GMT
    Pure said
    imasrxd saidYes, you have to take him out and be seen with him. He's your boyfriend/partner! Who doesn't take their boyfriend out for dinner on his birthday if that's what he wants to do?!?!


    I'm mean. I'd tell the bitch we're ordering in and to STFU.



    Haha, then that's a no. It'd be a dealbreaker for you.
  • jim_sf

    Posts: 2094

    Oct 17, 2011 3:50 PM GMT
    I've seen some bad teamcestuous splits (where one or both had to leave the team), and I've seen a few amicable teamcestuous splits (where they're both still on the team and working together nicely), and I've seen a few couples that met through the team and have made it work. Fortunately, the bad splits are pretty rare, but when they are bad, they are horrid.

    My advice to the OP, should he decide to pursue the new dreamy PhD student on his team:
    1) Be up-front with him about what you're going for. Is this just added benefits for your friendship, or do you want to date him?
    2) Don't hide your relationship (whatever it is) from your teammates. They're going to figure out that something is going on anyway; if you tell them, then you'll reinforce whatever respect they might have for you.
    3) If things do take a turn for the worse, then please, please, please be grown-ups about it, and keep your drama from affecting the rest of the team. Nobody else needs to suffer just because the two of you are having trouble.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2011 4:16 PM GMT
    Well, Chainers already said nothing will probably happen so on to the next burning question.

    You play Water Polo? hehehehehehe
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2011 4:28 PM GMT
    You play sports? icon_confused.gificon_eek.gif