waimea saidYes we all know this is true. But I also feel that gay guys are very sensitive to THEIR own feelings and they can give less than a rat's ass about OTHER people's feelings. Some people they can just flirt all they want and do all of these things that will make you think that they like you, yet at the end, they were just toying with your emotions.
Do you guys feel that this is true? Do you care about other people's emotions just as much as your own? Have you been hurt before, but now you feel that you can just circulate that toying mentality so the shit that goes on in the gay dating just kind of perpetuates? Circle of SHIT, that's what I call it.
What are your thoughts on this, dudes?
I don't like people flirting with me if they don't actually find me appealing/attractive. It's confusing to me. When I first came out, people flirted with me a lot, and I thought they all really liked me, but in they end, some of them wanted nothing to do with me, others were just having some light fun, and a lot of them just wanted sex.
At this point if a gay guy tells me he likes me or flirts with me, I take it with a grain of salt. I'm not a cynical person by nature but it's classical conditioning I guess....or is it operant.....its late. I forget. The point is, I never know who is interested in me and who isn't and thus don't have the energy to try to sift through the mind games.
Unfortunately I am guilty of making people think that I have feelings for them. If someone had a dream, I like to see them go after it, if someone has a problem, I like to see it fixed etc. There's a lot of things that I fail at but I consider myself a pretty good friend. But I find a lot of times that because I tend to be so demonstrative about my feelings toward people, (even platonic feelings) they always think that I am infatuated with them even if I am not. I just sometimes do nice things.......sometimes.
If I really like a person, I will tell them straight out. I know that's not normally how the game is played but I think we all owe each other more than games. If I really like you, the last thing I want to do is make you spend unnecessary time and energy figuring that out.
Even if I don't tell someone I like them, I tend to try to show it in some way. I may listen really intently to them, but typically, I will try to engage a part of them that the rest of the world doesn't value or seems to ignore.
There is a guy I have been talking too for a few months. He is a super hot and incredibly funny computer scientist who just graduated from MIT. Every time I talk to him, I try to figure out what his dreams are and try to encourage him to go after them. He is assembling a team to start his own project group and I love asking him how its going because I bet he doesn't get to talk about that a lot. We tend to hide our dreams or goals from other people. I remember he said he wanted to jump out of a plane but no one supported him. He doesn't know it yet, but when he gets to new york, we are going out to Long Island and we are gonna jump out of a plane.
If someone share's their dream with you, it's like sharing a part of themselves so if you like them you should listen really really closely. He's not my BF, but whether we develop into anything romantic or not is irrelevant to me. I just want to see him smile. That's kinda how I am....If you make me smile, I want to make you smile ten times as hard.
SO the point I'm trying to make is.....you really have to look at the little things to determine whether or not someone is really into you. You can't just go on what they say or little flirty things they do...because that could be bullshit. It's their empathy and their receptiveness to your opinions, fears, dreams.... etc that will tell you whether or not they are really into you.