Dilemma

  • newbiebottom

    Posts: 38

    Oct 17, 2011 5:21 PM GMT
    So this year, I finally started coming out. I am in my mid thirties. I met the man of my dreams. We have been dating for 10 months. I told my parents this summer that I have accepted the fact that I am gay. They were amazing in their response (we love you, its not your fault etc..) since that time, they have been fairly silent. my sister tells me that my mom would not want to meet someone i am dating. advice?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 17, 2011 5:28 PM GMT
    Well, it sounds like your mom doesnt want to meet anyone you are dating, so...I dont know what the fuck you are asking. Clarity or you are a troll.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 17, 2011 6:23 PM GMT
    Should I assume that the question is about how to introduce your boyfriend to your parents? Since you're already out, why don't you just ask them if they would be OK with it? You're going to have to face that situation at some point anyway.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Oct 17, 2011 6:28 PM GMT
    newbiebottom saidSo this year, I finally started coming out. I am in my mid thirties. I met the man of my dreams. We have been dating for 10 months. I told my parents this summer that I have accepted the fact that I am gay. They were amazing in their response (we love you, its not your fault etc..) since that time, they have been fairly silent. my sister tells me that my mom would not want to meet someone i am dating. advice?



    I would ask your mom directly if she would want to meet the guy you are dating. If she says no, ask her the reason why. Communication directly (not indirectly via the sister) is the only way to really work through issues of this nature. You don't know for sure if your sister is actually speaking for your mother, or if she is projecting her own fears and/or bias.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 17, 2011 6:37 PM GMT
    That does sound odd indeed.... to get such an acceptance to begin with and now.. only silence... Take a positive approach with it. They might feel a little awkward and are looking for you to take the lead. I'd start in with conversation with them, not too much to begin with about your happiness and how important it is for you to find someone who makes your truly happy.
    It might not be anything sinister... and if they do object about a potential partner, I'd talk to them about it. Nothing solves anything better than communication.
  • newbiebottom

    Posts: 38

    Oct 18, 2011 4:58 AM GMT
    i think your all of your advice about communication is good. now i just have to do it. sometimes its easier said than done. each step forward has the potential to cause hurt. my family is conservative and i know this isnt easy for them. i am also in an interracial relationship which adds to the drama. that being said, i am hopelessly in love and this has been the best time of my life. i love my guy so much.
  • SwimBIkeRun94...

    Posts: 480

    Oct 18, 2011 7:57 PM GMT
    I think you're building up more ceremony than necessary.

    Your family knows, and that's the important part.

    Take the formality out of it, and simply bring the BF around. You don't need to be all soap opera, "Mom, Dad...this is my BOYFRIEND Bob!"

    Rather, just introduce him as a normal person with a name.

    They'll get it.
  • newbiebottom

    Posts: 38

    Oct 18, 2011 10:24 PM GMT
    good advice again. unfortunately, i dont live near my folks. so i will have to do this via phone. i plan on bringing it up with mom tomorrow. there are cultural issues here as well so we'll see how this goes