An Asexual being pursued by a DL Football Jock ..WHAT TO DO?

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    Oct 17, 2011 5:56 PM GMT
    So theres this guy at my school who basically has girls throwing their panties at him, we've been friends for quite sometime and about 6-months ago he came out to me that he was Bi and it was our little "secret"

    Ever since he told me, he wants to mess around/experiment and stuff which is fine, THE PROBLEM is he seems to be dead set on making ME the guy he messes with. The other night he told me if he had to come out publicly and reveal who his "man" was that he would without a doubt want it to be me icon_neutral.gif This guy is very attractive, former HS Football jock, does modeling and a pretty cool person (basically he can take his pick of who he wants) However me NOR my soldier below is feeling it...and now that Im truly thinking about it, the soldier below as well me as a person has never cared for much of anyone (male or female) sexually/romantically.I loosely brand myself the term asexual because I know I don't have erectile dysfunction or anything, but now Im starting to seriously think I don't have sexual attraction towards anyone really icon_confused.gif. Idk what to tell this guy, because now he's starting to think he's not good enough, which is INSANE because he's clearly the better looking person...he thinks my whole asexual thing is an act and a "cop out" and that I have a him or her "on the side" who pleases me better -__- (I wish)icon_confused.gif

    I have little to no "Fear" of coming out,my family asks me if Im gay all the time anyway which means they probably think it (which is fine, I could care less) but I don't want to label myself something that Im not 100% sure I am. Sex does nothing for me, Porn = Nothing, Oral = Nothing, Kissing..etc. Its not that Im weirded out by it or made uncomfortable or anything, its just it personally does nothing for me. A nice chiseled chest may get a rise out of me, but other than that not much turns me on. This clearly is NOT NORMAL for any guys in his 20's. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life

    Anyone have any similar experiences?? any advice?
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    Oct 17, 2011 6:37 PM GMT
    Give in. Give yourself over to him. Allow him to make you his sexual plaything. Do not resist. Submit.
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    Oct 17, 2011 6:47 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidGive in. Give yourself over to him. Allow him to make you his sexual plaything. Do not resist. Submit.


    Such a slutty minx. Arent you jealous of this asexual man?
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    Oct 17, 2011 7:09 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidGive in. Give yourself over to him. Allow him to make you his sexual plaything. Do not resist. Submit.


    no one is resisting anything, but if I'm not turned on, I'm not turned on, the body doesn't lie. His "sexual plaything" LOL never heard that one before.
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    Oct 17, 2011 7:18 PM GMT
    Supra89 said
    GAMRican saidGive in. Give yourself over to him. Allow him to make you his sexual plaything. Do not resist. Submit.


    no one is resisting anything, but if I'm not turned on, I'm not turned on, the body doesn't lie. His "sexual plaything" LOL never heard that one before.


    Remember different strokes for different folks. Im turned on by guys in their mid 30s, who think it is absurd I would go after them (many young guys think that too) but hey its what gets the juices flowing. Find what you like, and go for it!
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    Oct 17, 2011 7:26 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    GAMRican saidGive in. Give yourself over to him. Allow him to make you his sexual plaything. Do not resist. Submit.


    Such a slutty minx. Arent you jealous of this asexual man?


    When I was a teenager, I thought I was doomed to be an asexual man. I nearly committed suicide. Then, gay happened. Things got better. WAY better!

    "Slutty minx". Absolutely!

    Sadly, I may lose that moniker. It has been over 8 months since I've had anything other than my hand. I'd even take a chick right now. :-(
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    Oct 17, 2011 7:28 PM GMT
    GAMRican said
    Chainers said
    GAMRican saidGive in. Give yourself over to him. Allow him to make you his sexual plaything. Do not resist. Submit.


    Such a slutty minx. Arent you jealous of this asexual man?


    When I was a teenager, I thought I was doomed to be an asexual man. I nearly committed suicide. Then, gay happened. Things got better. WAY better!

    "Slutty minx". Absolutely!

    Sadly, I may lose that moniker. It has been over 8 months since I've had anything other than my hand. I'd even take a chick right now. :-(


    Gay card revoked. Please leave your fashion sense and gym membership at the door, and don't let it hit ya on the way out
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    Oct 17, 2011 7:32 PM GMT
    Supra89 said
    GAMRican saidGive in. Give yourself over to him. Allow him to make you his sexual plaything. Do not resist. Submit.


    no one is resisting anything, but if I'm not turned on, I'm not turned on, the body doesn't lie. His "sexual plaything" LOL never heard that one before.


    Put a hood and blindfold on. Ask him to bring some of his football buddies who you do find even "pleasing to the eye". Allow them all to gang bang you. Be their sex toy / sex slave. In your mind, picture the ones who are pleasing to the eye.

    Alternately, ask them if they will role play "cops and robbers", "doctor and patient", "hardened criminal and prison bitch" with you. Have lube and condoms ready.

    You don't have to want to have sex with them, just let them use you as a vessel for their masculine desires. That's all.
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    Oct 17, 2011 7:35 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    GAMRican said
    Chainers said
    GAMRican saidGive in. Give yourself over to him. Allow him to make you his sexual plaything. Do not resist. Submit.


    Such a slutty minx. Arent you jealous of this asexual man?


    When I was a teenager, I thought I was doomed to be an asexual man. I nearly committed suicide. Then, gay happened. Things got better. WAY better!

    "Slutty minx". Absolutely!

    Sadly, I may lose that moniker. It has been over 8 months since I've had anything other than my hand. I'd even take a chick right now. :-(


    Gay card revoked. Please leave your fashion sense and gym membership at the door, and don't let it hit ya on the way out


    Hey! It's all for a purpose right now. It's like a vow of chastity. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't want it. My loins and ass ache for it and the neighbors are starting to complain about sounds like a howling cat in heat coming from the house.
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    Oct 17, 2011 7:53 PM GMT
    GAMRican said
    Supra89 said
    GAMRican saidGive in. Give yourself over to him. Allow him to make you his sexual plaything. Do not resist. Submit.


    no one is resisting anything, but if I'm not turned on, I'm not turned on, the body doesn't lie. His "sexual plaything" LOL never heard that one before.


    Put a hood and blindfold on. Ask him to bring some of his football buddies who you do find even "pleasing to the eye". Allow them all to gang bang you. Be their sex toy / sex slave. In your mind, picture the ones who are pleasing to the eye.

    Alternately, ask them if they will role play "cops and robbers", "doctor and patient", "hardened criminal and prison bitch" with you. Have lube and condoms ready.

    You don't have to want to have sex with them, just let them use you as a vessel for their masculine desires. That's all.


    that sounds more like a personal desire/fantasy of yours that you'd like to experience. thanks though.
  • aaronkei

    Posts: 211

    Oct 17, 2011 8:14 PM GMT
    I'm sorry but that is disgusting talking about a gang bang. Quit antogonizing this poor boy!
    If I were you sweety and I felt like I wanted to try something with him I would say yes but I would explain to him what my dilemma is and tell him that if nothing happened then it was simply the way it was ment to be. If he was to get offended then that is his perogative. He has no right to. If you don't want to try anything then tell him he means too much to you as a friend and that is all you view him as. Good luck!
  • Gaymer

    Posts: 111

    Oct 17, 2011 8:34 PM GMT
    To the OP: let me make this perfectly clear. Sexuality is INDIVIDUAL. If you're asexual, then there's nothing "wrong" about you. If it were a case of early impotence, then I would say something is indeed wrong.

    I've had friends who are asexual. It's just like you - no sexual urges and most people do nothing for their nether regions. That's not a prob. Just wait for a guy/girl that you are emotionally compatible with. Sex doesn't have to be the only part of a relationship.

    As with your friend ... be very honest with him and explain your lack of interest in him. If he keeps insisting, he clearly doesn't value your perspective. Don't ever be pressured into sex, ever. If you've been coerced into sex, you've been taken advantage of. Unless that's a kink of yours, most people don't like being taken advantage of.

    Don't be peer pressured by some of the more sexually promiscuous of the posters. Read all the posts, take in the info, and see what sits best for you.
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    Oct 17, 2011 8:52 PM GMT
    GAMRican said
    Chainers said
    GAMRican saidGive in. Give yourself over to him. Allow him to make you his sexual plaything. Do not resist. Submit.


    Such a slutty minx. Arent you jealous of this asexual man?


    Sadly, I may lose that moniker. It has been over 8 months since I've had anything other than my hand. I'd even take a chick right now. :-(


    Um, I'm sorry but did you show someone your ass? lol. I think if you did that dry spell would end pretty quickly. And you are in SF... hello? I neither encourage nor discourage hookups, but I mean.... if you need some booty you need some booty.
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    Nov 08, 2011 3:28 AM GMT
    well its been a few weeks and I think he got the hint. This asexual bullshit is a curse..I swear. I must have been pretty messed up person in a past life to be going through this.
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Nov 08, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    I know this is old and stodgy, but you'll miss out on too much of the fun in life by being asexual. Talk to a professional about this.
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    Nov 08, 2011 4:14 AM GMT
    waccamatt saidI know this is old and stodgy, but you'll miss out on too much of the fun in life by being asexual. Talk to a professional about this.


    I did...after about a month, they informed me all I can do is indulge in what makes me hard (which is wrestling) and then go from there. Problem is I can't find any wrestlers or they all run when they see me, or its combination of both.

    I've come to my own psychological solution. You can't miss out on life if you don't have one, with that being said...I need to just grow a pair and do what at this point seems to be the most efficient way out..because this sucks beyond belief and I'm over it.
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    Nov 08, 2011 4:18 AM GMT
    Ehm, honestly guys, asexuality DOES exist, at least thats what psychologists say... he wont be turned on by ANYTHING... its like the opposite of pansexuality....
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    Nov 08, 2011 4:19 AM GMT
    Have you explored the possibility of testosterone injections or something similar?

    Have you ever expressed your lack of sex drive to a medical professional?


    People are telling you it's perfectly normal, I hope it's not. It's a quality of life issue.
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    Nov 08, 2011 4:19 AM GMT
    Experiment dude! If you have never tried it, try it...I used to hate spinach and the though of it made me sick. Now I love it. Just try it even though it isn't initially attractive to you. You can always stop it if you want. But being given the opportunity to try is with someone that is open, given he is, isn't as easy. That's what I would do now, I never say "No" anymore...No regrets so far...(I'm deathly afraid of heights, and was asked by my buddies to skydive solo...I said yes, loved it)

    Good Luck bro
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    Nov 08, 2011 4:20 AM GMT
    GreenHopper saidEhm, honestly guys, asexuality DOES exist, at least thats what psychologists say... he wont be turned on by ANYTHING... its like the opposite of pansexuality....


    Well I'm sure those people live a lot happier lives!

    Asexuality or whatever the hell I'm suffering with should be put in the DSM-IV as a mental disorder.
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    Nov 08, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    Have you tried wrestling with football boy? It seems like you are both on a journey of sorts, figuring out what you want to be. Maybe if he understands your situation just as you are trying to understand his, you can help each other out.

    Either that or the soldier is standing guard (as it were) by not rising to the occasion because he knows you are not mentally ready to be doing this stuff?

    IDK. Just thinking out loud.
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Nov 08, 2011 4:25 AM GMT
    Supra89 said
    waccamatt saidI know this is old and stodgy, but you'll miss out on too much of the fun in life by being asexual. Talk to a professional about this.


    I did...after about a month, they informed me all I can do is indulge in what makes me hard (which is wrestling) and then go from there. Problem is I can't find any wrestlers or they all run when they see me, or its combination of both.

    I've come to my own psychological solution. You can't miss out on life if you don't have one, with that being said...I need to just grow a pair and do what at this point seems to be the most efficient way out..because this sucks beyond belief and I'm over it.


    There is more than one counselor out there so get a 2nd or 3rd opinion and I'm sure there are other things you enjoy so focus on them for the time being. As far as wrestling, I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there who like to wrestle, including this guy who seems to like you so much. It seems cliche, but I'm being totally honest when I tell you that things always seem to work themselves out. Hang tough.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Nov 08, 2011 4:31 AM GMT
    Yo Supra,

    the idea of S w/ the wrong person M or F is a bone-killer, for me. I understand exactly what you are experiencing ( you would not believe how many offers 4 s I have TURNED DOWN COLD) . . .

    Does your Hot-friend know anything about wrestling ??icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 08, 2011 4:31 AM GMT
    So you're not sexually attracted to anyone, but what about emotional?
    Because I'm really starting to think I want to trade sexuality with you, you be gay and me asexual.. (joking a little bit, but also a little serious)

    I wouldn't really mind going through life without sex as long as I wasn't craving sex..

    And about your problem.. if I was you, I wouldn't play around with him.. if there are no emotions there, and you're not turned on by him. Its probably best to make it very clear you're not interested.. just because he seems to be at least a little bit into you, and that would suck if he got attached to you and then hurt..


    Anyway, wish you luck with it icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 08, 2011 4:33 AM GMT
    Supra89 said
    GAMRican said
    Supra89 said
    GAMRican saidGive in. Give yourself over to him. Allow him to make you his sexual plaything. Do not resist. Submit.


    no one is resisting anything, but if I'm not turned on, I'm not turned on, the body doesn't lie. His "sexual plaything" LOL never heard that one before.


    Put a hood and blindfold on. Ask him to bring some of his football buddies who you do find even "pleasing to the eye". Allow them all to gang bang you. Be their sex toy / sex slave. In your mind, picture the ones who are pleasing to the eye.

    Alternately, ask them if they will role play "cops and robbers", "doctor and patient", "hardened criminal and prison bitch" with you. Have lube and condoms ready.

    You don't have to want to have sex with them, just let them use you as a vessel for their masculine desires. That's all.


    that sounds more like a personal desire/fantasy of yours that you'd like to experience. thanks though.


    Psst- he was being tongue in cheek. icon_razz.gif I'll tell you two things- sexuality is about how you feel and how you interpret it. There are plenty of guys on here who are married to women- either because they're bisexual and "barely qualify" according to some members, and others who are married to their fraulein because their relationship is special beyond words, which if I'm hearing you right- I believe that is what you're looking for in a companion. I'm almost in same boat as you in that even though I find myself absolutely alone from time to time, I know that when it's right, it's right (sadly my emotions don't agree). It might not be here and it might not be now, but I'm going to guess based upon your username, that you're roughly 21, right? There are guys on here who didn't find their significant other until they were 25 or older. And hell- my dad didn't meet the love of his life (aka my mom) until he was 32. Seriously- figure out what you really want in life and go for it.

    Right- and that other thing. What's this guy's number? icon_twisted.gif