So I jumped....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 19, 2011 1:05 AM GMT
    Update 10/21
    So my wife now knows I am gay. Told her today in our therapist's office, a day ahead of schedule. She was in shock, but amazingly compassionate and loving. Could not have gone better. Thanks for all the support and emails. They gave me courage. Onward and upward icon_biggrin.gif

    ____________
    After 5 months of separation getting ready to come out to my wife this Saturday and start the process of ending a 16 year marriage. Wish I could say I was thrilled, but, while I want to move on with my life, its quite a painful step. And after that I plan to come out to my kids - figure they need to hear it from me before it gets out. So wish me luck and send me all your good karma, cause I am going to fucken need it...
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    Oct 19, 2011 1:08 AM GMT
    Hey! You know what... Good for you! You're doing what's best for you and your well being, as well as not hiding it from your family which is still important to you.

    And for that, I give you a FUCK YEAH! icon_biggrin.gif Full support! icon_biggrin.gif
  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Oct 19, 2011 1:14 AM GMT
    Congrats and good luck.

    We are here for you <3
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    Oct 19, 2011 1:35 AM GMT
    Wow, I take my hat off to you. You've got testicles the size and strength of basketballs, to still come out at this point despite the hetero nuclear family life you've established all these years. Better late than never.

    I rate that =]

    (let us know how it goes)

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    Oct 19, 2011 1:46 AM GMT
    Props to you man. Live how you want and need to to be happy and successful in that.

    My best wishes to you, your wife, and your kids, and remember everything falls into place at the time it did, for a reason.
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    Oct 19, 2011 2:00 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidhmm ... is there a reason that you are not waiting until the divorce is final ... couldn't she use that against you?


    Other then the minor detail that I am gay icon_biggrin.gif, we have a relatively stable marriage. There is no anamosity between us, and she's been pressing for reconsiliation. She is still not entirely sure why we separated, although I know she suspects. ( I'm butch and all, but can put together a mean flower arrangement.icon_biggrin.gif.) So I figure it is time to put the cards on the table and start the divorce process. We've been friends for 28 years, so I am hoping it won't get ugly.
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    Oct 20, 2011 6:19 AM GMT
    How old are your children?
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    Oct 20, 2011 6:24 AM GMT
    Wow, I wish you and your family the best. Good luck saturday!
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    Oct 20, 2011 6:25 AM GMT
    Good luck! I hope it goes well. Take some cookies with you. Cookies fix everything. icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 20, 2011 6:35 AM GMT
    TroyAthlete saidHow old are your children?

    My daughter is 12, and my son is 14. I overheard my daughter defending, to religious people no less, the right for Glee characters to be gay (I thought to my self, if she only knew). I think telling them will be one of the hardest things I ever do.
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    Oct 20, 2011 6:36 AM GMT
    And thank you everyone else for your well wishes and thoughts. Will need them all this weekend.
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    Oct 20, 2011 6:47 AM GMT
    MUCH LOVE your way! I can't imagine the additional weight a wife and children would add to the emotional burden...

    On the bright side... You may actually become closer to your daughter..once the dust settles. Hell, you WILL become closer with your family. I don't care what their initial reaction may be, time heals that... But just being able to be YOU around them will mean so much... icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 20, 2011 6:53 AM GMT
    Wow - this thread is not at ALL what I was expecting!!!

    OP - good luck!!! You are on the right path even though it may not always seem what it is supposed to be. You have a LOT of good people supporting you here.

    Keep going!!!
  • in_this_corne...

    Posts: 704

    Oct 20, 2011 7:02 AM GMT
    Best of luck! I can only imagine how difficult this is. I know a few men who are (or have been) in similar situations that have worked out very well over time. Wishing you similar success.
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    Oct 20, 2011 10:38 AM GMT
    You're smart to let them know yourself. The news may be hard for them to accept right away but in the long term they will understand that you were thinking about them by telling them yourself.

    A hard thing to do but a wise and caring thing.
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    Oct 20, 2011 2:18 PM GMT
    Tough day and a great day, Man. You are doing the best thing for your family and yourself. You created enough good karma yourself; you don't need any from anyone else!
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    Oct 20, 2011 3:59 PM GMT
    Godspeed!
  • fitdude62

    Posts: 294

    Oct 20, 2011 4:11 PM GMT
    Sending positive healing thoughts to you and your family.

    Peace

    YOU GO!
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    Oct 20, 2011 4:17 PM GMT
    I'm really impressed by your courage to do this. I hope this is the beginning of a new stage of life and that you come out of it feeling free. icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 20, 2011 4:21 PM GMT
    This is awesome buddy! It takesso much courage so I highly respect you.

    Stay strong. You will be much happier when you can live your life openly as you have always wanted! icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 20, 2011 4:22 PM GMT
    Really inspiring. Do your thing!
    It sounds cliche, but every long journey begins with a single step. Best of luck!
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    Oct 20, 2011 4:24 PM GMT
    I have a friend that did this. He has two kids in their early twenty's. I think his wife suspected anyway. Life is really good for him. He has a terrifiic relationship with his kids. Good luck!
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    Oct 20, 2011 4:29 PM GMT
    You guys are bringing tears to my eyes. For all the frivolities of this site, for men like me, it is my only gay community. You guys bring me solidarity and for that I thank you.
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    Oct 20, 2011 4:41 PM GMT
    Good luck coming out to your family.

    I think there is a Straight Spouse network for current and former spouses of gays & lesbians. That could be a useful resource for you and your wife.
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    Oct 20, 2011 4:44 PM GMT
    Sending good karma your way! Hugs!