Hey bottoms -- how long do you expect a top to f*ck you?


  • Oct 19, 2011 3:52 PM GMT
    How long do you expect a top to fuck you before he comes? 2 minutes? 5 minutes? 10?

    The thing is I'm kind of a late bloomer and not real experienced with anal sex. But I'm discovering I enjoy topping more than bottoming, and whenever I fuck someone, it feels so damn good that it's a struggle not to come right away. This happened a lot with the last guy I dated, which frustrated the hell out of me (and him).

    I've since gotten better at putting off ejaculation, but last night I kind of went overboard and kept suppressing the urge to come so much that I kind of "broke" myself after a few minutes (3?) and ended up going soft and not coming at all. The guy I was with was far more experienced than me, and I'm not expecting him to want to go out with me again.

    (In my defense, I find it's hard to stay hard after putting on the condom and keeping myself in a "holding pattern" while I get the boy's hole ready for my cock.)

    But anyway, I feel like it's damned if I do, damned if I don't. Should I just come when I damn well feel like it, no matter when? What do YOU want?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 19, 2011 3:58 PM GMT
    Honestly, it depends on the situation. As a bottom myself, I tend to prefer longer lasting 'sessions'. I've had situations where a guy came in five minutes...was kind of disappointed, then went another round and it lasted a while.

    I've also topped a few times and the trick is when you are about to pop, slow it down or stop completely for a few seconds, then go again. Practice makes perfect dude, just keep at it icon_razz.gif

    Another thing that I know a lot of tops do is that they just go at an intense, rough, and fast pace 100% of the time which is why they cum faster. Bottoms tend to like a little variety. Go rough for a bit, slow it down for a bit, switch positions...keep it interesting. There are tricks to make it last longer.

    Hope this helps!

    -Alex
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 19, 2011 3:59 PM GMT
    Last as long as you can and as long as it is pleasurable. Try different positions (change of sensation), stop/start techniques.

    Maybe use sex toys on the other dude whilst you're between stop/starting, this could also get you more aroused too, kill two bird with the same proverbial stone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 19, 2011 3:59 PM GMT
    I've never been able to be fucked to the point that I cum without jerking off simultaneously. I have a very tight down there and most tops can only last 3-5 mins tops with me. icon_sad.gif

    It's always when I'm about to get there, they came already. I'm sad now. Thanks for posting this thread. It made me realize that I won't get sexually fulfilled anytime soon. icon_cry.gificon_cry.gif

  • Oct 19, 2011 11:16 PM GMT
    AlexanderB saidHonestly, it depends on the situation. As a bottom myself, I tend to prefer longer lasting 'sessions'. I've had situations where a guy came in five minutes...was kind of disappointed, then went another round and it lasted a while.

    I've also topped a few times and the trick is when you are about to pop, slow it down or stop completely for a few seconds, then go again. Practice makes perfect dude, just keep at it icon_razz.gif


    Thanks Alex! Unlike piano lessons when I was a kid, this is something I'm willing to put in long hours of practice for icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 20, 2011 1:35 AM GMT
    waimea saidI've never been able to be fucked to the point that I cum without jerking off simultaneously. I have a very tight down there and most tops can only last 3-5 mins tops with me. icon_sad.gif

    It's always when I'm about to get there, they came already. I'm sad now. Thanks for posting this thread. It made me realize that I won't get sexually fulfilled anytime soon. icon_cry.gificon_cry.gif


    You poor thing... You've had some pretty lousy tops. You should fix that icon_wink.gif
  • no1timehookup...

    Posts: 208

    Oct 20, 2011 3:46 AM GMT
    AlexanderB saidHonestly, it depends on the situation. As a bottom myself, I tend to prefer longer lasting 'sessions'. I've had situations where a guy came in five minutes...was kind of disappointed, then went another round and it lasted a while.

    I've also topped a few times and the trick is when you are about to pop, slow it down or stop completely for a few seconds, then go again. Practice makes perfect dude, just keep at it icon_razz.gif

    Another thing that I know a lot of tops do is that they just go at an intense, rough, and fast pace 100% of the time which is why they cum faster. Bottoms tend to like a little variety. Go rough for a bit, slow it down for a bit, switch positions...keep it interesting. There are tricks to make it last longer.

    Hope this helps!

    -Alex



    Doing that makes a cock soft in no time..

    Why do some cocks hurt less then others? it's not the size nor the way the person tops.. I've had a 6 hurt more then a 8, sometimes they don't hurt at all.. I'm trying to figure this out..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 20, 2011 8:34 AM GMT
    Best thing to do is to vary things as has already been said. If you are pounding a guy really hard in one position then it's probably normal to feel the need to cum after a few minutes. If you want to make it last longer, then try the following:

    - pull out and do something else, e.g. sucking him off, playing with his dick, kissing, rimming (though I personally don't rim a hole that's been fucked because it's all lube-y and there's potential for a bit of mess)

    - pull out and switch positions

    - push your dick all the way in and play with his body, kiss him etc while you are buried inside, maybe pulse your dick a bit (I've always found this popular)

    - sex toys - already mentioned, pull out and replace your dick with a dildo to get them up to the same arousal level that you are, when they've caught up, take it out and continue fucking them

    - figure out which positions you find more and less stimulating and adjust accordingly

    - alternative - just go right ahead and cum, and then either get the bottom off by continuing to fuck them (if you stay more or less hard after cumming) or pull out and finger them while sucking their dick, or just rest for a bit and then have a round 2 icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 20, 2011 8:35 AM GMT
    no1timehookups saidWhy do some cocks hurt less then others? it's not the size nor the way the person tops.. I've had a 6 hurt more then a 8, sometimes they don't hurt at all.. I'm trying to figure this out..


    It's the angle of the erection and how well that fits with your internally... just keep experimenting until you find one that fits juuuuuuuuuuust right, Goldicocks!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 20, 2011 9:27 AM GMT
    +1 Pure.

    One thing I'd add is this: Calm Down. Most of what happens during an orgasm is not physical but psychological. That's why in some cases a guy can cum with no hands, or have wet dreams, or cum just with anal stimulation, etc etc. Control your breathing, be in the moment, and be very deliberate with what you're doing. Concentrate on details instead of the fucking. Pay attention to his ear, the temperature of his skin, the small of his back, the smell of his hair: small things. If you go in with, "OMG this guy is so fucking hot I can't wait to slam him!!1!!" you've worked yourself up already and you're probably going to cum quickly. Purposely pull back, mentally, and focus in on/enjoy every small detail of the experience.

    It really just takes practice... practice, and a little bit of thoughtfulness. After a while you get good at technique and you can "last" as long as you'd like or as long as the bottom would like.

    To see Alexander say "A lot of tops just go all out 100%" makes me think there are a lot of people out there who are just selfish.


  • Oct 20, 2011 5:46 PM GMT
    Larkin_PLR said+1 Pure.

    One thing I'd add is this: Calm Down. Most of what happens during an orgasm is not physical but psychological. That's why in some cases a guy can cum with no hands, or have wet dreams, or cum just with anal stimulation, etc etc. Control your breathing, be in the moment, and be very deliberate with what you're doing. Concentrate on details instead of the fucking. Pay attention to his ear, the temperature of his skin, the small of his back, the smell of his hair: small things. If you go in with, "OMG this guy is so fucking hot I can't wait to slam him!!1!!" you've worked yourself up already and you're probably going to cum quickly. Purposely pull back, mentally, and focus in on/enjoy every small detail of the experience.

    It really just takes practice... practice, and a little bit of thoughtfulness. After a while you get good at technique and you can "last" as long as you'd like or as long as the bottom would like.

    To see Alexander say "A lot of tops just go all out 100%" makes me think there are a lot of people out there who are just selfish.



    Thanks Larkin, this is great advice. Can't wait to try it!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 20, 2011 8:04 PM GMT
    All I got from this thread: Larkin and Pure should have sex
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Oct 20, 2011 8:43 PM GMT
    The average length of time 5.4 minutes for intervaginal intercourse. No reason that anal sex will have longer time.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 21, 2011 12:06 AM GMT
    FrostedFlakes saidAll I got from this thread: Larkin and Pure should have sex


    I..... agree with this statement.

    commoncoll saidThe average length of time 5.4 minutes for intervaginal intercourse. No reason that anal sex will have longer time.



    I can think of several reasons for anal sex to last longer... if you can't, then it makes me wonder if you've had anal sex icon_wink.gif
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Oct 21, 2011 2:01 AM GMT
    Larkin_PLR said
    commoncoll saidThe average length of time 5.4 minutes for intervaginal intercourse. No reason that anal sex will have longer time.



    I can think of several reasons for anal sex to last longer... if you can't, then it makes me wonder if you've had anal sex icon_wink.gif

    Well, that is the average time, gay men don't have an extra genetic capability of lasting longer during active intercourse. I don't mean pulling out or wearing something that restricts blood supply.

    Quick ejaculation is an evolutionary advantage. But not premature ejaculation which I think is ejaculation in less than 1 minute or so.
  • Scriven

    Posts: 61

    Oct 21, 2011 4:12 AM GMT
    Do people normally pull out after they cum? Normally after I get off I have another five or ten minutes left in me.

    Ever since the boy moved in I've been a bottom exclusively and if he doesn't last 15-20 minutes he says I get bitchy towards him. He plays soccer so the boy has massive endurance.so he has a pretty big range. He's gone as little as two minutes some time to the better part of an hour depending on his mood.

    There have been a few times where he's gone over the hour mark, but every time he was distracted, one time he was on the phone for twenty minutes.

    It all depends, and like anything it gets better with better with chemistry. You know you have chemistry when the top doesn't last long and you both cum because its soo hot
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 21, 2011 5:07 AM GMT
    Around 30 minutes, when the guy comes in less than 5 minutes is kinda frustrating, and while it's a compliment because they find you so hot they cum right away, it's not satisfying at all.

  • Oct 21, 2011 7:52 PM GMT
    30 minutes? Really? You mean with the guy in you the whole time, just pumping away? I can't do that by myself - I need to change it up every few minutes, maybe take some short breaks while keeping myself hard...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 21, 2011 7:59 PM GMT
    Hypnotico saidAround 30 minutes, when the guy comes in less than 5 minutes is kinda frustrating, and while it's a compliment because they find you so hot they cum right away, it's not satisfying at all.


    This: Except I've been stuck on the other side lately. A couple of bottoms who cum too quickly then scurry off to the shower. icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 21, 2011 8:11 PM GMT
    Santos_L_Halper said30 minutes? Really? You mean with the guy in you the whole time, just pumping away? I can't do that by myself - I need to change it up every few minutes, maybe take some short breaks while keeping myself hard...


    It's okay if you guys take breaks but when you're pumping us, try to make it last icon_biggrin.gif

  • Oct 21, 2011 8:18 PM GMT
    Hm, yes, I see, good to know.... Now accepting applications for practice partners, lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 21, 2011 8:23 PM GMT
    Hypnotico said
    Santos_L_Halper said30 minutes? Really? You mean with the guy in you the whole time, just pumping away? I can't do that by myself - I need to change it up every few minutes, maybe take some short breaks while keeping myself hard...


    It's okay if you guys take breaks but when you're pumping us, try to make it last icon_biggrin.gif


    Haha, careful what you wish for. The last guy I slept with (I don't think he has been gay very long: he had terrible trick etiquette) complained that all his tops didn't last. We got back to my house and he literally said "I hope you don't come too quick... that'd suck" (Again: poor trick etiquette). So I rolled my eyes, said "Whatever you say, guy", then fucked him for an hour in 8 different positions.

    It really just takes concentration and paying attention to your own body.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 21, 2011 8:41 PM GMT
    Larkin_PLR said
    Hypnotico said
    Santos_L_Halper said30 minutes? Really? You mean with the guy in you the whole time, just pumping away? I can't do that by myself - I need to change it up every few minutes, maybe take some short breaks while keeping myself hard...


    It's okay if you guys take breaks but when you're pumping us, try to make it last icon_biggrin.gif


    Haha, careful what you wish for. The last guy I slept with (I don't think he has been gay very long: he had terrible trick etiquette) complained that all his tops didn't last. We got back to my house and he literally said "I hope you don't come too quick... that'd suck" (Again: poor trick etiquette). So I rolled my eyes, said "Whatever you say, guy", then fucked him for an hour in 8 different positions.

    It really just takes concentration and paying attention to your own body.


    Being a bit sore surely beats being really horny and completely frustrated that the dick you were gonna ride, is now completely flaccid icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 21, 2011 8:42 PM GMT
    Minimally, a top has to last 10 minutes, and 10 minutes isn't very long. 30-60 minutes is great. 10 minutes works if the top is up and ready to go again 5 minutes later. Sometimes, however, if I'm not into the top or he's hurting (rarely happens), I just want the dude to cum, in which case a few strokes suffice.
  • fix24

    Posts: 10

    Mar 21, 2015 7:23 PM GMT
    Hmm, considering that based on your profile u did do a lot of cardio exercises and weight training, its a little bit weird how u don't last long on bed. Im a bottom and have only been top once and I don't like being top at all. So I guess Im not the best person to give u an advice but I can share some experience I had with various tops ive been with. Basically almost all of my one night stand lasted less then 5 minutes. I guess when u don't love someone u just don't care whether they are satusfued or not but, I had two ex bf and based on my experience with them, do they usually lasted around 15 minutes. Once I challenged my ex to fuck me for 1 hour, he took the challenged but lasted only 40 minutes. Damn what a great fuck he gave me. Basically, the longer u can last the more satisfaction u will give to your bottom, but at last 15 minutes would be the minimum time to give me some satisfying sex.