New members: Do you feel that the cool kids on RJ won't talk to you???

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    Oct 19, 2011 10:36 PM GMT
    Since this topic has the highest chance of turning into a raging flame war, I'm leaving it for now right before I go away for two weeks.

    Okay, maybe it's my wrong perception, but do you new guys feel that the KOOL kids, the "IN" crowd, on RJ won't talk to you? Sometimes you'll try to quote them, sometimes you might send them a message, and they either don't quote back or they don't message you back, and it is super frustrating. Then you start by guessing if it's because they haven't read it, or they dunno who you are, or it's because....you're fug! icon_surprised.gif

    I want to hear what the new people have to say, and the popular kids, you know who you are, please jump in and defend yourself whenever you feel like!
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    Oct 19, 2011 10:38 PM GMT
    waimea saidSometimes you'll try to quote them, sometimes you might send them a message, and they either don't quote back or they don't message you back, and it is super frustrating. Then you start by guessing if it's because they haven't read it, or they dunno who you are, or it's because....you're fug!


    Maybe it's because we blocked them when we saw their disgustingly low post-count.
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Oct 19, 2011 10:45 PM GMT
    Well I've been year for more than a year now, I had a moment when I would always be whether here or on the chat (with my webcam on, jerking off, of course... Naaaah !), but still, I don't feel like I'm "in the gang" yet, a lot of people don't even know I exist on here, or just don't care.

    I think it's a question of personality, if it fits, if you shine, they'll notice you. Otherwise, good luck ! I'm the average joe, I like to read stuff, answer some time, but most of the time, I feel like people will read their friend's posts, and pass through the people they don't know/care. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Oct 19, 2011 10:55 PM GMT
    Well, usually their first order of business is to dig up very old threads that have already been discussed and sometimes over-discussed.
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    Oct 19, 2011 10:58 PM GMT
    Ariodante said
    waimea saidSometimes you'll try to quote them, sometimes you might send them a message, and they either don't quote back or they don't message you back, and it is super frustrating. Then you start by guessing if it's because they haven't read it, or they dunno who you are, or it's because....you're fug!


    Maybe it's because we blocked them when we saw their disgustingly low post-count.


    lol so when do you un-block them? When they reach 1000? 2000?
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    Oct 19, 2011 10:59 PM GMT
    Disasterpiece saidWell I've been year for more than a year now, I had a moment when I would always be whether here or on the chat (with my webcam on, jerking off, of course... Naaaah !), but still, I don't feel like I'm "in the gang" yet, a lot of people don't even know I exist on here, or just don't care.

    I think it's a question of personality, if it fits, if you shine, they'll notice you. Otherwise, good luck ! I'm the average joe, I like to read stuff, answer some time, but most of the time, I feel like people will read their friend's posts, and pass through the people they don't know/care. icon_rolleyes.gif



    I feel just like this disasterpiece :-) ... I've been here for like a year and a couple months and ... I've make a couple friends and I reply on the topics and stuff but still I don't feel like I'm "IN" or like cool kid or anything like that.

    I feel very much like the guy next door ....
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:00 PM GMT
    Iceblink saidWell, usually their first order of business is to dig up very old threads that have already been discussed and sometimes over-discussed.

    No wonder why people don't like them. Like the racial thread, or the fem threads? Yep over-discussed.
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:12 PM GMT
    waimea saidSince this topic has the highest chance of turning into a raging flame war, I'm leaving it for now right before I go away for two weeks.

    Okay, maybe it's my wrong perception, but do you new guys feel that the KOOL kids, the "IN" crowd, on RJ won't talk to you? Sometimes you'll try to quote them, sometimes you might send them a message, and they either don't quote back or they don't message you back, and it is super frustrating. Then you start by guessing if it's because they haven't read it, or they dunno who you are, or it's because....you're fug! icon_surprised.gif

    I want to hear what the new people have to say, and the popular kids, you know who you are, please jump in and defend yourself whenever you feel like!


    The OP has asked a serious question here, so I've given it some thought and written a serious answer. It may be TL;DR for some of you, in which case, feel free to not read it. But no need to post just to say "TL;DR." icon_cool.gif

    My perspective so far (though I'm not sure that I qualify as "new" anymore) is that there is a group of people whom I tend to find some combination of mean-spirited, shallow, and/or generally not very bright, yet their approval and attention are highly sought-after, and their posts are given a great deal of attention. It puzzles me, but it doesn't bother me except from a signal-to-noise ratio standpoint.

    In other words, it seems very much like high school. There's a core of people considered "popular" but who seem to lack most of the qualities I would want in regular interaction, and even have some qualities that I actively try to stay clear of. There's a middle ring of "wannabes," and an outer ring of sycophants. As in high school, I pretty much noted it as a funny sociological phenomenon and did my own thing. It wasn't sour grapes; I just really didn't care to know them as they didn't have anything to offer me, at least based on what they outwardly displayed. Here, I just hit "Ignore His Posts" when the signal:noise gets too high or someone is so mean-spirited and/or ignorant that I think it better for my blood pressure to not see what he says.

    And, as in H.S., there are people who are not that je ne sais quois of "popular" but are so nice/eloquent/funny that they're well-liked by pretty much all the cliques. Meninlove come to mind immediately, though there are quite a few others.

    I've tried to interact with a few on here who probably don't fit into the "cool crowd" but whose intellects I admired. When I get a lukewarm response (or none at all), I let it go. The alternative is to waste your precious energy and time on people who have chosen not to know you and will probably be even less inclined to if you pursue them relentlessly!

    One final thought: you mentioned the "popular kids" having to "defend" themselves. I don't think there's a need for "defense" necessarily, as I don't see anything wrong per se with popularity. I just don't necessarily understand why this culture values "Jersey Shore" types over those who are thoughtful, deliberate, considerate, etc. But if you grow up in a society that values certain characteristics and rewards such people with money and/or attention, it's not exactly hard to be seduced by it and cultivate those qualities within yourself. And IMO, that's a deep loss for that person, because he may never get to see another way to be, and therefore will miss out on the richness life has to offer. icon_sad.gif
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:13 PM GMT
    Disasterpiece saidWell I've been year for more than a year now, I had a moment when I would always be whether here or on the chat (with my webcam on, jerking off, of course... Naaaah !), but still, I don't feel like I'm "in the gang" yet, a lot of people don't even know I exist on here, or just don't care.

    I think it's a question of personality, if it fits, if you shine, they'll notice you. Otherwise, good luck ! I'm the average joe, I like to read stuff, answer some time, but most of the time, I feel like people will read their friend's posts, and pass through the people they don't know/care. icon_rolleyes.gif

    How dare you say that. You're married to Trev who is like mega celebrity on the RJ forum. Accept it, you'll always known as "Trevermark's husband" and nothing more.

    Kthxbai
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:13 PM GMT
    Art_19 said

    I feel very much like the guy next door ....


    One could do much worse! icon_smile.gif

    http://www.realjock.com/TheGuyNextDoor
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:14 PM GMT
    Art_19 saidI feel very much like the guy next door ....

    Could I borrow your leaf blower?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:14 PM GMT
    Interesting topic. I personally haven't had a problem with anyone so far. Still pretty new though.

    My experience so far here has been great...with the exception of faceless profiles trying to IM me but that is to be expected.

    I like everyone so far icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:18 PM GMT
    I just think... who gives a shit? It's the internet and if you feel the need to be one of the "popular" kids on the internet than you have bigger issues and really need to start living your life.

    I spend a decent amount of time on here, especially when I'm stuck in hotel rooms in random cities for work etc, and I enjoy the forums (A LOT actually) but if at the end of the day RJ disappeared I wouldnt stress and I wouldn't lose sleep. I still have what I want and I still have my life outside of this site... some people on here spend TOO much time on here, starting arguments that are not justified and saying things because they have a computer to hide them.

    Realjock has gone from a workout/fitness site to a popularity contest with little boys running amok, trolling, and and taking away from what this site should be. Yes, sometimes I laugh hysterically at posts, and yes, sometimes I wish people who post on here would get hit by cars and never post on here again.

    Waimea, you're good shit- you know I'll always keep it real wit you, but this is a stupid ass post. Why feel the need to bring attention to people who are "popular"? Are you looking for validation? Just curious....

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    Oct 19, 2011 11:33 PM GMT
    It does seem like the forums have taken a nasty turn. If I find a thread that looks intriguing, or that I feel I might be able to comment in a helpful or thoughtful manner, it's been hijacked by the time I can get my two cents in. It seems that there are too many just trying to be clever for clever's sake, and belittling anyone who doesn't play along or who calls them out.

    The obsession over whether a thread author is legit or not is maddening! Why does everyone care so much? No one is gluing your eyes to your monitor and making you read anything. I read one thread and responded, and because the "cool kids" had already sunk their fangs into the OP, I get a response that basically said "you're ugly". Really?

    God forbid you're over 45 and posting. OK, now I'm ready to take my lumps. Have at it, young'uns.
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:44 PM GMT
    EliStark said
    Art_19 said

    I feel very much like the guy next door ....


    One could do much worse! icon_smile.gif

    http://www.realjock.com/TheGuyNextDoor


    oh lord, i totally didn't mean that. I just feel like a guy next door .... then again, I'm so not interested on being famous here lol .... I'm just a friendly guy I guess so whoever talks to me, I'll talk with him .... I'm not IN or cool because I guess I really don't care for that icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:44 PM GMT
    Iceblink said
    Art_19 saidI feel very much like the guy next door ....

    Could I borrow your leaf blower?



    you can icon_razz.gif
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:51 PM GMT
    running11 saidAre you looking for validation? Just curious....



    I'm not looking for validation. I'm only bringing up a point. Because it definitely felt like that when I first joined the site and I felt that the guys here were cliquey and the new comers would feel like they cannot break through the barriers. And when you look at the banter threads or the circle jerk threads, it's pretty much the cool kids who are acting in cliques. Good thing is that it's a good group of people and the dynamics between them are friendly and all (and I have to say that having talked to plenty of these guys in pvt convos, they are just as awesome, if not more awesome than they are). BUT...what if it's the mean girls? Huh? Then when a huge flame war happens then groups of people start taking sides and then that's when people's egos and feelings get hurt.

    Flame wars will scare newcomers away. No joke.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:52 PM GMT
    Who are these "cool kids" of which you speak?


    edit: keeping in mind "attention whoring does not make one cool"
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:53 PM GMT
    hoosier_daddy saidIt does seem like the forums have taken a nasty turn. If I find a thread that looks intriguing, or that I feel I might be able to comment in a helpful or thoughtful manner, it's been hijacked by the time I can get my two cents in. It seems that there are too many just trying to be clever for clever's sake, and belittling anyone who doesn't play along or who calls them out.

    The obsession over whether a thread author is legit or not is maddening! Why does everyone care so much? No one is gluing your eyes to your monitor and making you read anything. I read one thread and responded, and because the "cool kids" had already sunk their fangs into the OP, I get a response that basically said "you're ugly". Really?

    God forbid you're over 45 and posting. OK, now I'm ready to take my lumps. Have at it, young'uns.


    You mean by chainers? He loves hijacking threads.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:53 PM GMT
    There's no such thing as "the kool kids" or "the in crowd" on RJ. If there's one such group, I'd submit that the members of that group are living in a world of make-believe.
  • kuroshiro

    Posts: 786

    Oct 20, 2011 12:00 AM GMT
    Haha, I can't even get a simple hey or fuck off from guys in my own city, so why would I expect the same from others around the world? lol
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    Oct 20, 2011 12:02 AM GMT
    kuroshiro saidHaha, I can't even get a simple hey or fuck off from guys in my own city, so why would I expect the same from others around the world? lol


    FUCK OFF

    that'll be 25 cents plz icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 20, 2011 12:03 AM GMT
    kuroshiro saidHaha, I can't even get a simple hey or fuck off from guys in my own city, so why would I expect the same from others around the world? lol

    I don't like this defeatist attitude but we sure can still have sex.
  • kuroshiro

    Posts: 786

    Oct 20, 2011 12:06 AM GMT
    Okay, okay. I'll get rid of it. icon_biggrin.gif

    Just prepare yourself icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 20, 2011 12:28 AM GMT
    General e-forum inclusiveness/respect usually achieved after a) time, piqued interest and perserverance and/or b) baptisms of fire.

    Finally-social-baptism-of-fire.jpg

    Only the fittest survive. E-darwinism. ;]


    The 'cool kids table' is mostly only an inside joke really, I think.

    People interact with those they identify and connect with the most, whether online or IRL.