Help me! i need advice at the age of 27! lol

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    Oct 19, 2011 10:42 PM GMT
    Hi all so need some advice as im a single gay lad who dont know many other gay/bi lads. Last year i was helping a mate out who relationship with his at the time GF and we was talking so much i found out that he is Bi-currus but after a few weeks he was back with his GF with out eather of us making a move.

    But last week she broke up with him after an argument as he found out she was sleeping around with a FEW other men and he is was in a bad state and i was ther for him as i am with everry one of my mates. Now for the past year i have held very strong fealings for this lad but have only been playiong about (ie haveing a joke ect) but since his brake up (now 11 days ago) i have been with him most days to keep him company and his mind at rest.

    I find it hard at the best of times to ask someone out but when we have been talking for so long and evey text ends with a x from both me and him i just cant find a way of telling him my tru feelings. I understand that he is very very upset about the brake up but found out yesterday that some other lad has been comeing onto him and im now afraid of loosing him icon_sad.gif.

    I know this is not just maddnes as i have got that funny fealling every time i think of him to the point that i had to go for a walk in the middle of the night just to try and calm down.

    i was planning on sending him a text along the lines of:

    Hay **** how are you? look i know that its a bit early but i have just got to get this out as its now hurting me!

    **** Im thinking about you every day from the moment i open my eyes to the moment i go to bed and it becuse i have something i have got to tell you and ask.

    I know you know my fealings for you but i dont think you understand how powerful them feelings are. I know we have a laff and joke when im at work of if we are out and about but I Know that I have fallen in love with you!

    Im sending you this mesage as you told me the other day that some lad is comeing on to you and i dont want to missout on possibly building a relationship and i understand that you are still upset but please have a think about whjat im going to ask as its a very hard thing for me to ask!

    **** WILL YOU GO ON A DATE WITH ME??? x.

    end of text

    I know it sounds dum but i realy love this lad and I not someone who is just after one thing and he knows im not but just dont know how well this will go down. I just cant face loosing him! (and cant do it face 2 face as im a wimp/shy)

    Sorry for the spelling (I have big fingers and using an iPhone)
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:27 PM GMT
    SERIOUSLY, Don't send the text. Even if he does have the same feelings for you, he'd be put off by the fact that you sent him a TEXT! Have the respect for HIM to actually say it in person! Man Up! If you send a text, that's a cop out and a sure way to get a NO. Good luck! icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:36 PM GMT
    DO NOT SEND THAT TEXT....and please PROOF READ it or maybe click the spell check button? ...if you decide to send...but DO NOT SEND THAT TEXT.icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:38 PM GMT
    Ok so you know the story so what would you do? and thanks for the replys
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:43 PM GMT
    I'd take him to the pub and quaff down a few, that's what I'd do.

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    Oct 19, 2011 11:45 PM GMT
    Be a friend...listen to him...just be a friend...and don't think of yourself....don't view this as your opportunity, just let him mourn, be sad and mad and look at it as a way to be a good person.
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:45 PM GMT
    beneful1 saidI'd take him to the pub and quaff down a few, that's what I'd do.




    have done but he never seems to want to walk to the pub (drives) so im the one drinking and don't want to ask the just in case he thinks im just drunk
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:49 PM GMT
    uklad11 said
    beneful1 saidI'd take him to the pub and quaff down a few, that's what I'd do.




    have done but he never seems to want to walk to the pub (drives) so im the one drinking and don't want to ask the just in case he thinks im just drunk


    REASONS, REASONS, REASONS.

    EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES. Those are the true signs of flaky, insecure guys. And you are, honestly, sounding like one
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:52 PM GMT
    its not reasons or excuses it what's going on!
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:57 PM GMT
    I think you should start texting him.... start joking around and then at the right moment..bring up the topic. Ask him, "Just wondering..would you ever have sex with me? I wanna know if gay guys and other bi-curious guy dig me."

    I hope everything goes well!!
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    Oct 19, 2011 11:58 PM GMT
    OH FOR GOD'S SAKE! THEN TAKE HIM TO A COFFEE SHOP, HIS LIVING ROOM, HIS CAR, A MUSEUM, THERE ARE TONS OF PLACES... ARE YOU THAT STUPID??? WHAT THE OTHER GUY MEANT WAS TO KEEP IT REAL, INSTEAD OF COPING OUT AND SENDING OUT A TEXT.

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    Oct 20, 2011 1:47 AM GMT
    toohottohandle7 saidSERIOUSLY, Don't send the text. Even if he does have the same feelings for you, he'd be put off by the fact that you sent him a TEXT! Have the respect for HIM to actually say it in person! Man Up! If you send a text, that's a cop out and a sure way to get a NO. Good luck! icon_smile.gif


    THIS!

    Also, if you do it face to face, involve brewski to help lubricate the conversation.
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    Oct 20, 2011 1:50 AM GMT
    dont send the txt cuz it seems desperate
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    Oct 20, 2011 2:02 AM GMT
    Don't send the text.

    You sound infatuated with this guy. Expressing infatuation comes across as needy and desparate and it's going to be very off putting for most people in general. Coupled with the fact that he's "bi curious" therefore unsure of his sexuality and getting over his ex girlfriend, I don't see hitting the send button on that message going well for you in any way, shape, or form.

    I think you need to take a step back and take a look at the situation objectively. What if it was you who had just been burned by a guy you loved? Would you be receptive to someone who you thought was your friend putting the moves on you?

    Either way, if he's gay, bi or whatever and he feels the same way about you, things will pan out. You can't make someone like you, that evolves on its own.
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    Oct 20, 2011 2:04 AM GMT
    Don't text . Ask him out for drinks. Make physical contact. If he does not pull away then look into his eyes and tell him you want to be BF s.
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    Oct 20, 2011 2:06 AM GMT
    My advice:

    IGNORE ALL ADVICE AND DO WTF YOU WANT.

    You might be much happier with your life if you lived by your own terms.

    PS - I give terrible advice.



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    Oct 20, 2011 5:40 AM GMT
    I agree you should talk face to face. His face will tell you kinda what he's thinking.
    What does he say when he talks about the other lad coming on to him?
    Has he talked about another guy hitting on him to see if you'd hit on him?
    Does he like it? Ask what he would do if the other guy comes on to him again? GL

  • Oct 20, 2011 6:54 AM GMT
    I agree DO NOT SEND THAT TEXT!!!

    Should you do it in person, YES! Like everyone else has said..."man up,"

    BUT.. you need to keep a safe distance....

    you talked about building a relationship with him...which is understandable for how much the two of you have gone through together...

    BUT here's the thing, would you rather have a FULL HEALTHY relationship...

    or be his first male to male experience...since he's "bi-curious."

    Your dream of having this perfect picture relationship could just be a "wam bam thank you Sam," and from the way your talking...i KNOW that's not what you want.

    Give him space...but let him know that no matter what your there.

    and yet again, DO NOT SEND THE DANG TEXT MESSAGE!! you are NOT 13 anymore...you are a man.

    And if there is no feeling replicated towards you, then you pick your self up, dust yourself off...and carry on.

    This is a HUGE step...

    GOOD LUCK!
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    Oct 20, 2011 11:16 AM GMT
    scottjock6 saidI agree you should talk face to face. His face will tell you kinda what he's thinking.
    What does he say when he talks about the other lad coming on to him?
    Has he talked about another guy hitting on him to see if you'd hit on him?
    Does he like it? Ask what he would do if the other guy comes on to him again? GL



    Ok so the text will not be sent icon_smile.gif

    when i asked about the lads name he just says he don't know. and in responce to hitting on him again he told me that don't know if he likes the other lad hitting on him or not
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    Oct 20, 2011 11:28 AM GMT
    uklad11 saidOk so the text will not be sent icon_smile.gif


    Phew! Close call!!

    You just need to speak to him plainly, just say to him "I've got feelings for you ______ and I wonder what you feel about me?"

    Take it from there.

    If he doesn't feel the same, then maybe you'll just have to pull away from him for a bit until the feelings die down and maybe then you can just be friends with him.

    If he does like you too, then tread carefully and don't confess your undying love for him straight away, that would probably scare him off. See also: rebound.
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    Oct 20, 2011 11:39 AM GMT
    Don't send the text.
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    Oct 20, 2011 12:12 PM GMT
    The text won't go down well......



    Does he know you're gay.


    you have a major crush on him, just talk to him. I would have a few beers together or smoke some weed together....and talk. Have fun together like wrestling. I like to punch a guy in the shoulder and have him punch me back and sparr abit. I am shy but I did do something about it when I had a major hard on for a guy at work.


    mike
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    Oct 20, 2011 12:50 PM GMT
    Go ahead and send the text. From the way it sounds, you're obsessing anyway...might as well finish fucking it up. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 24, 2011 1:35 AM GMT
    I think he only sees you as a friend. He would have made the move if he liked you more than that (I'm assuming he knows you're gay). For your sake, I think now is the right time to take a risk. You've been obsessing about him for about a year now and it's time to confront that unhealthy obsession. You can't keep going like this.

    Ask him now and if he says no, then tell him that you will always be there as his friend. He would be lucky to have you as a friend.

    I understand you're shy...so text is OK as that has been the mode of communication between the two of you. Just be direct and ask if there is a chance that the two of you could be together. Don't mention that you're obsessing about him...that's a major turn off.

    Good luck and let us know how it goes!!!
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    Oct 24, 2011 8:00 AM GMT
    Don't send that text.

    He broke up 11 days ago. Who wants to head right in the next relationship after 11 days,like seriously?

    Plus saying someone something like that through a text is kind of weak...