Partner loving his dogs more than me?

  • nsnhjkj

    Posts: 11

    Oct 20, 2011 5:28 AM GMT
    I've been with my partner for several months now. We have a really good relationship going and have all our differences worked out and get along really well. The one problem I have is that it seems like he loves his dogs more than me. I know....it's silly to be jealous of a couple dogs...but god it is getting hard to deal with! I like the dogs too, but to a certain point. When we are in bed doing embraced, or making love, I think the dogs need to chill and leave the room or leave us alone. Instead they jump up putting their paws on the side of the bed because they feel like he is giving me all the attention and they want to get his attention back. It works too! He will completely focus his attention on them when they do this, take his hands off of me to pet the fucking dog and tell it how good it is and how good it looks. I just think...why do they have to be a part of our sex life? Why can't we shut them out of the room for 5 minutes so we can just enjoy each other without them interfering? When ever he comes home from work and I'm there, he walks in and goes straight to the dogs kissing them, telling them how good they look, and how great they are. After a good full minute of greeting the dogs, he will talk to me, but hardly ever comes over to give me a kiss or tell me I look good, unless I instigate it. It might sound completely absurd but I am really sick of these fucking dogs taking my man away! The one dog is pretty respectful but the other insists on having his attention at all times. Sometimes it will bark at us because we are having sex in bed and it wants some attention.

    I try to talk to my partner about this, but he just blows it off and says I need to be easier on them. Anyone else had to deal with this ridiculous problem?
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Oct 20, 2011 5:30 AM GMT
    I just broke up with someone who was the same way. How attentive is he when you're out and about away from the dogs? I understand how people feel like their dogs are like kids so I would focus on how he treats you in the overall scheme of things.
  • nsnhjkj

    Posts: 11

    Oct 20, 2011 5:36 AM GMT
    When we are out of the house away from the dogs, things are excellent. Things are great in bed too but it's frustrating when I'm gazing into his eyes trying to have an intimate moment, and the fucking dog jumps up barking and trying it's best to stop our moment so that it can have some attention.
  • mikey_101

    Posts: 250

    Oct 20, 2011 9:23 AM GMT
    Your partner should ignore the dogs for at least 2 mins when he returns home.

    This tells the dogs they gvet attention when he gives it to them, and they will understand their place in the 'pack'.

    By ignoring you and fussing the dogs he is effectivly putting all this in reverse -
    him being alpha,
    dogs being second
    you being last.


    Not only is he giving the dogs this message, he is giving you this message.

    You understand this as simply and instinctivly as they do.

    We have dogs, and a few simple rules.

    The most basic and fundimental is:
    ANYONE entering the house must ignore the dogs completely untill they settle down.
    Then, and only then can they be fussed.

    This puts them in the proper pecking order.

    Also, dogs sleep in their own bed - in a seperate room.

    again, this is about sending them signals.

    They are seperate from you and your partner - who are above the dogs.

    This is simple psyschology.


    Set the ground rules.

    Goodluck.... I hope you get as much love and attention from the dogs are you choose to give them at A TIME THAT SUITS YOU AND YOUR PARTNER...... not when the dogs demand it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 20, 2011 11:51 AM GMT
    You know people always say dogs and cats make good relationship than their lover or partner. Tell him how you feel
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 20, 2011 12:47 PM GMT
    Behind every out of control dog is a wimpy owner or somebody who doesn't understand the mentality of a dog. The dog owner is the Master and sets the rules. If the Master doesn't set the rules, the dog will set the rules.

    One of the first rules is that people do not compete with dogs for attention. That is demeaning. If you're making out (or even just embracing) and the dog comes scratching...he must be rebuked. Dog must get the message that your relationship is to be respected.

    I've seen dogs eat their own shit and wallow in raw sewage....so for me, dogs don't belong in the bedroom or on the furniture. Whatever rules get set up, must respect YOUR boundaries over the desires of the dogs. Find some training advice online. If you live together, there needs to be equal co-Masters. What you have now is a mess. Good luck.

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    Oct 20, 2011 12:51 PM GMT
    nsnhjkj saidI've been with my partner for several months now.


    Oooo several months and you think you are more important than the dogs who have probably been several years... icon_razz.gif

    Together 12 years and my BF still knows the girls (cats) are number 1.
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    Oct 20, 2011 12:53 PM GMT
    I'm a dog lover so I can understand the situation. You and your partner ought to agree to some private time for just the two of you with the door closed. If the dogs hang outside the door scratching, crying, or barking, then that needs to be addressed. Maybe they can be kept outside for the private times.
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    Oct 20, 2011 1:34 PM GMT
    White4DarkerFL saidBehind every out of control dog is a wimpy owner or somebody who doesn't understand the mentality of a dog. The dog owner is the Master and sets the rules. If the Master doesn't set the rules, the dog will set the rules.

    One of the first rules is that people do not compete with dogs for attention. That is demeaning. If you're making out (or even just embracing) and the dog comes scratching...he must be rebuked. Dog must get the message that your relationship is to be respected.

    I've seen dogs eat their own shit and wallow in raw sewage....so for me, dogs don't belong in the bedroom or on the furniture. Whatever rules get set up, must respect YOUR boundaries over the desires of the dogs. Find some training advice online. If you live together, there needs to be equal co-Masters. What you have now is a mess. Good luck.



    100% agreement.
    This just raised White4DarkerFL to the top quarter of hotness.
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    Oct 20, 2011 1:46 PM GMT
    The issue is your man and your relationship with him, I think. Not the dogs, who are innocent pawns in this. They are NOT taking your man away from you. Your man is an adult, right? icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
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    Oct 20, 2011 1:53 PM GMT
    kaoi said
    nsnhjkj saidI've been with my partner for several months now.


    Oooo several months and you think you are more important than the dogs who have probably been several years... icon_razz.gif

    Together 12 years and my BF still knows the girls (cats) are number 1.


    Bingo.
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    Oct 20, 2011 1:57 PM GMT
    It sounds like he's blurred the line between dog and human, and treats his dogs like he would his children.

    You can't really tell your kids, go away so daddy can fuck his boyfriend icon_razz.gif. You stop (well more likely, you never got a chance to start) and pay attention to them.

    It's going to be really hard to shift his thinking here, but he if he really loves you he will be open to compromise because he wants you to be happy too.

    I have a dog that's extremely jealous of everyone except my ex-bf because she was raised with him, so she dislikes any other guy touching me but I have the sense to lock her in the kitchen icon_razz.gif. She's a dog.. not my kid. I love her very much and we have a strong bond, but I feel that bond is best protected by me allowing her to be a dog and her allowing me to be human (and fuck).
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    Oct 20, 2011 2:33 PM GMT
    This can be problematic. Ive been in a relationship where the dog came first and our relationship second. I love dogs but some people blurr the lines between human/animal. When the dog starts to interfere in your sex life, its time to set some boundries. In my case, my ex bf made it clear that bfs come and go but the dog was his ultimate priority. Really set the tone for a relationship where my needs were always last on the list of considerations. Needless to say, our relationship didnt last long
  • nsnhjkj

    Posts: 11

    Oct 20, 2011 5:35 PM GMT
    Thanks a lot guys! It's good to hear all the responses. I would be more understanding if we were just dating, but we are in a committed relationship and live together. I guess the reason I don't get upset with my partner is because I moved in with him, and he had these dogs long before I came along... I can understand that these things are very important to him and they have had their routine of greeting at the door, jumping up the side of the bed, etc... for a long time. I just wish that he wouldn't let them interfere when we are in bed, or making out on the couch, etc.. It would be so nice to be able to just lock these fucking bitches outside for an hour so that we can enjoy our time together, but they come scratching at the door and he gets up to let them in. I'm going to bring it up and discuss why I don't think it's appropriate and hopefully he'll understand.
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    Oct 20, 2011 6:29 PM GMT
    That's so perverted. Whenever I'm fucking a guy in the ass or vice versa, I don't want to be getting off next to a dog that may very well want to join in on the action.

    Dogs are nasty (sexually), they have no place in a bedroom. Trust me, I was a dog owner once too and I spoiled him like a baby, but he wasn't going to be climbing in my bed while I'm having sex...
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    Oct 20, 2011 6:52 PM GMT
    He has no pic its saya it all , he shouldnt be on here .
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    Oct 20, 2011 7:00 PM GMT
    If I had to pic between my dog and a guy its the dog hands down. Really is it that big of deal if your not the first thing he talks to when he comes home? If you don't want the dogs in the bedroom but them out of it,
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 20, 2011 7:01 PM GMT
    I love my beagles totally, but they aren't in my bedroom during sex.

    Your bf should be balanced enough to know what is appropriate and what isn't. I think the love for his dogs is admirable, but to make you feel like a second class citizen is a problem and if he isn't open to communication about it is a larger one.

    You don't have everything worked out, clearly. Have a serious discussion and work it out or move on.
  • nsnhjkj

    Posts: 11

    Oct 20, 2011 7:14 PM GMT
    TalShiar saidIf I had to pic between my dog and a guy its the dog hands down. Really is it that big of deal if your not the first thing he talks to when he comes home? If you don't want the dogs in the bedroom but them out of it,


    That's messed up. I can see someone choosing a dog over someone they've dated a few weeks, but to choose a dog over a committed life partner....completely fucked up.

    Yes it is a big deal when someone comes home and greets the dogs, kisses them, hugs them, talks to them, tells them how good they look, for a at least a full minute before acknowledging or even looking at the spouse that's also right there.

    I have had my own dogs before and I love them, don't get me wrong. But I would never put a fucking animal before my spouse. That's just wrong. Fortunately it's not about choosing the dogs or me, because I'm fine with the dogs. Just not when they want to interfere when we are making love.
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    Oct 20, 2011 7:15 PM GMT
    nsnhjkj saidI've been with my partner for several months now. We have a really good relationship going and have all our differences worked out and get along really well. The one problem I have is that it seems like he loves his dogs more than me. I know....it's silly to be jealous of a couple dogs...but god it is getting hard to deal with! I like the dogs too, but to a certain point. When we are in bed doing embraced, or making love, I think the dogs need to chill and leave the room or leave us alone. Instead they jump up putting their paws on the side of the bed because they feel like he is giving me all the attention and they want to get his attention back. It works too! He will completely focus his attention on them when they do this, take his hands off of me to pet the fucking dog and tell it how good it is and how good it looks. I just think...why do they have to be a part of our sex life? Why can't we shut them out of the room for 5 minutes so we can just enjoy each other without them interfering? When ever he comes home from work and I'm there, he walks in and goes straight to the dogs kissing them, telling them how good they look, and how great they are. After a good full minute of greeting the dogs, he will talk to me, but hardly ever comes over to give me a kiss or tell me I look good, unless I instigate it. It might sound completely absurd but I am really sick of these fucking dogs taking my man away! The one dog is pretty respectful but the other insists on having his attention at all times. Sometimes it will bark at us because we are having sex in bed and it wants some attention.

    I try to talk to my partner about this, but he just blows it off and says I need to be easier on them. Anyone else had to deal with this ridiculous problem?


    People who treat their pets as equals have a screw loose.
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    Oct 20, 2011 7:22 PM GMT
    I love dogs too, I really do -- but they shouldn't be interrupting your intimate moments.

    There's nothing cute about a shrieking dog bringing a loving moment to a screeching halt with his hysterical barking. Dogs should be out of the room, period, and not competing for his or your attention.

    Same goes for when he gets home. You come first, dogs next.

    And he should be AT LEAST as nice to you as he is to his pets. icon_eek.gif
    I mean, you are his partner.

    I don't blame you for being annoyed. I would be too.

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    Oct 20, 2011 7:30 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidWith pics of you and the dogs for comparison, I won't be able to judge.


    O SNAP
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    Oct 20, 2011 7:32 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    JackNWNJ saidPeople who treat their pets as equals have a screw loose.
    Then put me into an institution.


    Your on your way. I'm beginning to see that white Liberals are all headed there.
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    Oct 20, 2011 7:34 PM GMT
    I will never understand the strange phenomenon of gay men and dogs. Is it similar to old ladies and cats?

    I grew up on a farm, and I had three outside-only dogs that I loved to death! They followed me everywhere, and were always killing rats and pigeons and bringing me the dead bodies so I would never starve. <3 They were so sweet and thoughtful. Not only were they my dogs, they were my dawgs. Regardless, they still aren't people, as much as I loved them and any dogs I'll have in the future I would never put them before my potential partner. Seems strange to me.
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    Oct 20, 2011 7:36 PM GMT
    kaoi said
    nsnhjkj saidI've been with my partner for several months now.


    Oooo several months and you think you are more important than the dogs who have probably been several years... icon_razz.gif

    Together 12 years and my BF still knows the girls (cats) are number 1.


    Yeah, well then your partner is a pussy. But, then, if he's been with you this long he undoubtedly deserves you.