Audacity of being friendly

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    Oct 20, 2011 9:36 PM GMT
    I looked at guys in my area on here and most are defunct, old profiles. I came across one that looked interesting and he was in my area. For some reason, he put his full name on his profile. Would have messaged him, but he hadn't logged on since earlier this year.

    Being me, I looked him up on Facebook and messaged him saying I was looking for gay friends in the area and had saw him on here and didn't mean to violate his privacy, so he wouldn't be creeped out. I didn't get a response and forgot about him. A month later, surprisingly, he responded and said to feel free to message him anytime and that he isn't on Facebook much. He opened up his profile to me and he seemed pretty awesome. I asked if it was okay if I added him. A few weeks went by and I offered to exchange numbers since it was like playing Facebook tag. After a few more weeks, I said if he wasn't interested it was cool, and I knew he was busy(in the military). I put a pic up and suddenly he responded that he was no longer interested and apologized. I said that it was fine and I wished him luck with the miliary.

    Am I missing something? Since when do you have to be attracted to friends? Interested? I never mentioned hooking up or anything. He was nice about it and honest, so I can't fault him. I'm surprised that he responded positively and didn't just block me.I guess maybe I shouldn't have said the "friend" thing? I didn't want to come on strong, but maybe I came off as a waste of time.

    I'm not going to bother him anymore, but curious about any light that could be shed. I was so excited about the prospect of an out friend. I wish I could ask him, but I have to respect his response. icon_sad.gif
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    Oct 21, 2011 12:31 AM GMT
    My take. I get a lot of guys that use "friendship" as a trojan horse. They say they only want to be friends but they really are attracted and just want to check you out first. After all, I only have a chest pic unlocked on most sites. A guy who wants to be friends out of the blue because of a shirtless pic is not a friend I want. I also have tried the friendship thing online. As soon as I show my face pic, the conversation turns to hooking up and they unlock their obligatory rectum spread wide open pic or jockstrap/thong pick, or cock pic.
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    Oct 21, 2011 1:22 AM GMT
    Haha, yeah, most of the time "Just Looking for Friends" means "Just looking to scout the field beforehand so I don't have you hitting on me."
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    Oct 21, 2011 4:39 AM GMT
    WaitWhat said I put a pic up and suddenly he responded that he was no longer interested and apologized.


    Dunno what skin he's in, but maybe he could answer to the name Ray Cyst?
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    Oct 21, 2011 4:57 AM GMT
    I think you are over-analyzing it all, to be honest. I say that because I tend to do the same in situations like this. However, considering you never talked to him on the phone, let alone meet him in person, I wouldn't try and read into it too much.

    You can infer, rationalize, deduce, examine, and dissect it until to the point where a forensic pathologist can't even tell what happened, but the reality is you'll never know the truth. Sometimes that's better than actually knowing the reason(s).

    Kudos to you for reaching out and trying to be friendly, but sometimes people are just odd, especially online.
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    Oct 21, 2011 7:16 AM GMT
    MuslNorganLikr said
    WaitWhat said I put a pic up and suddenly he responded that he was no longer interested and apologized.


    Dunno what skin he's in, but maybe he could answer to the name Ray Cyst?


    HAHA, maybe. He's mixed, but looks Caucasian
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    Oct 21, 2011 7:17 AM GMT
    BluEyes077 saidI think you are over-analyzing it all, to be honest. I say that because I tend to do the same in situations like this. However, considering you never talked to him on the phone, let alone meet him in person, I wouldn't try and read into it too much.

    You can infer, rationalize, deduce, examine, and dissect it until to the point where a forensic pathologist can't even tell what happened, but the reality is you'll never know the truth. Sometimes that's better than actually knowing the reason(s).

    Kudos to you for reaching out and trying to be friendly, but sometimes people are just odd, especially online.


    I guess, just thought outside opinions could make me see something I didn't so I wouldn't mess it up next time.
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    Oct 21, 2011 7:19 AM GMT
    Brownale saidMy take. I get a lot of guys that use "friendship" as a trojan horse. They say they only want to be friends but they really are attracted and just want to check you out first. After all, I only have a chest pic unlocked on most sites. A guy who wants to be friends out of the blue because of a shirtless pic is not a friend I want. I also have tried the friendship thing online. As soon as I show my face pic, the conversation turns to hooking up and they unlock their obligatory rectum spread wide open pic or jockstrap/thong pick, or cock pic.


    jpBITCHva said
    Brownale saidMy take. I get a lot of guys that use "friendship" as a trojan horse. They say they only want to be friends but they really are attracted and just want to check you out first. After all, I only have a chest pic unlocked on most sites. A guy who wants to be friends out of the blue because of a shirtless pic is not a friend I want. I also have tried the friendship thing online. As soon as I show my face pic, the conversation turns to hooking up and they unlock their obligatory rectum spread wide open pic or jockstrap/thong pick, or cock pic.

    Because nothing says "let's talk about Eastern philosophy" like a photographic tour of the south end of the alimentary canal.


    Trollileo said
    Brownale saidMy take. I get a lot of guys that use "friendship" as a trojan horse. They say they only want to be friends but they really are attracted and just want to check you out first. After all, I only have a chest pic unlocked on most sites. A guy who wants to be friends out of the blue because of a shirtless pic is not a friend I want. I also have tried the friendship thing online. As soon as I show my face pic, the conversation turns to hooking up and they unlock their obligatory rectum spread wide open pic or jockstrap/thong pick, or cock pic.
    Pretty much this. It's kind of like the guys who are in a monogamous relationship and admit how happy they are... Then upload pictures of their gaping assholes.


    Larkin_PLR saidHaha, yeah, most of the time "Just Looking for Friends" means "Just looking to scout the field beforehand so I don't have you hitting on me."


    I actually wanted to just be friends. Most of my friends are "gay", but through religion are "straight", so I wanted to hang with somebody not living a lie and comfortable with themself. An older Caucasian guy was on his hotlist so I already knew I wasn't his type. Just don't know why he wanted to "talk" in the first place...ahh whatever I guess.
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    Oct 21, 2011 7:56 AM GMT
    You already know the answer to your own question. The majority of the time when someone claims to be looking for friends on the internet....it's a scam. You have to realize that when you say "I wanna be your friend" people are less likely to believe you. They think you are full of shit because so many other people who say they are looking for friends are indeed full of shit. I know you and I know that you aren't that way.

    Whoever this guy is, fuck him. He's not worth fretting over or making a forum about, he's just a loser who missed out on a fruitful friendship with a really nice person. People are gonna fund reasons to discriminate against you, it may be your height, race, buiild,....whether you've had your wisdom teeth removed or not. The point is, just keep doing what you do, keep going after those friends, but don't over invest yourself. A lot of young gay guys don't make friends. they spend their teens 20's and 30's ruling out anyone who they don't see as a potential fuck-buddy and settle into a deep depression as they age because they never made any real friends or had any real emotional connection to anyone.

    I've only ever met two types of geriatric gays. The kind that hate their life, and hate their age because all they ever invested in was sex and they can no longer get all the sex they want

    And guys who love their life and their age because they can look around and see all of the strong healthy connections they made with other people gay and straight. So if someone rejects your friendship because of how you look, you're probably talking to someone who has a pretty shitty future ahead of him anyway so keep your head up and don't stress.

    Nothing wrong with you on the inside or the outside.
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    Oct 22, 2011 3:39 AM GMT
    dekiruman said...
    Whoever this guy is, fuck him. He's not worth fretting over or making a forum about, he's just a loser who missed out on a fruitful friendship with a really nice person. People are gonna fund reasons to discriminate against you, it may be your height, race, buiild,....whether you've had your wisdom teeth removed or not. The point is, just keep doing what you do, keep going after those friends, but don't over invest yourself. A lot of young gay guys don't make friends. they spend their teens 20's and 30's ruling out anyone who they don't see as a potential fuck-buddy and settle into a deep depression as they age because they never made any real friends or had any real emotional connection to anyone.
    ...


    ^^ This. Right here, spot on. Listen, as I've told many other people, the best way to make other gay friends is not to go online. Social networking is the best way to make new friends. I know that if you don't have any gay friends to talk about guys with, that it's really hard to express yourself sometimes to people who aren't gay. You should just focus on making friends in general, gay or straight, and eventually you will make a gay friend (I promise, I will even put money on it).

    Now if you aren't out and your friends don't know anyone, then maybe you have to go online to meet other gay people. Don't get caught up in the fact that someone doesn't respond even though you are "looking for friends". Honestly, these people probably don't have any genuine gay friends of their own because they are too concerned with getting off than to form actual, meaningful social relationships. You don't have to believe in the concept of Karma to know that these sorts of people end up at the bottom of the totem pole sooner or later.


    P.S. Speaking of military guys, in my experience they usually aren't my favorite types of gay people to hang out with, but that's just me. I've met two or three cool ones, but in general... no
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    Oct 22, 2011 4:13 AM GMT
    I've given up trying to explain why people do things like this. I've had plenty of conversations that seemed to be going well, but then ended abruptly. Did I say something wrong that I need to apologize for? Was the guy just a flake? Was he just not interested anymore because he didn't see the friendship going anywhere? I could drive myself crazy thinking about all of the possibilities.

    For the record, I'm happy to make friends or to meet a potential boyfriend. Either way is good. So, yes, guys who are looking for friends are really out there. There is just no way to tell who is who without getting to know them a little and risking getting your feeling hurts. But it beats the alternative of not meeting anyone at all, right?