yeh seriously joe I can relate to where you are coming from tho having, believe it or not, not that many years ago lept out of the closet and left narnia well behind!
You are feeling a presure to conform to what you perceive to be a societal norm or even a cliche. What you need is a trip to a big city and a copy of Spartacus. Its a real eye opener when you go somewhere outside of the less metropolitan scene. I work in London there are clubs to cater for all tastes all men and half of them would look at this site and heave at the oh so perfectly formed bodies. Take XXL for example, and not implying you are a big hairy bear, or barcode. To see what I am referring to have a look at this magazine site, www.boyz.co.uk
When you see clubs like that you suddenly begin to realise actualy your passport is from Planet Gaydania not Planet Mars and that the uber fit 6 packed guy is just one aspect of society as there is in the world you have left behind.
Heck Im not that into big hairy bears, its the fur on teh back bleurghhhh, but it refreshes the soul to see a bunch of big chunky men letting rip on the dancefloor or in the bar and just being men. Men of all shapes and sizes and confidence levels. But I tell ya this its still damned attractive as confidence is the key.
At the moment your passport may say you come from Gaydania and you are living in Gaydania but yuo probably cant help feeling like a Martian as you change your boundaries and perceptions.
Enjoy who you are feel confident in your new found sexuality and chill, theres always someone out there that will worship ya like a demi god
Welcome to the fold