Fat to Average to Do-able

  • joedocker

    Posts: 47

    May 25, 2008 2:27 AM GMT
    After losing an unsightly gut and joining the "average crowd," it seems hard to get to "do-able"

    Only "out" three months and only "average" after losing fifty pounds in six weeks. Need inspiration to get to the do-able phase and make some productive contacts.

    Do you have to have ripped abs to get a date?
  • joedocker

    Posts: 47

    May 25, 2008 2:30 AM GMT
    I meant six months on that fifty pounds - wish I had a secret to lose it in six weeks - it was six months of SWEAT
  • joedocker

    Posts: 47

    May 25, 2008 3:35 AM GMT
    thanks, muchmorethanmuscle - I'm gonna change my profile and say I'm forty
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    May 25, 2008 3:39 AM GMT
    ( you might want to take that out of your post then )

    icon_biggrin.gif

    Just a thought
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    May 25, 2008 4:02 AM GMT
    How soon before you're do-able? Look in the mirror and ask if you'd ask yourself out on a date, from your first appearance. If the answer is yes, you're done, relax and enjoy. If not, back to the gym.

    At your age your body is more apt to store excess fuel as fat, your musculature is shrinking, and your bones are becoming more brittle. Check with a nutritionist and a trainer for more specific instructions on defeating this spiral.

    Initially, I'd suggest an adjustment of your diet. Really really really clean it up. This will have the biggest impact.
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    May 25, 2008 5:38 AM GMT
    But as to doable and getting a goal well depends how dedicated you are and what you wanna do

    If yuo are asking for new direction in the gym then 22 weeks.

    If you havent a clue and are bumbling along go buy yourself New Rules of Lifting by Alwynn Cosgrove and Lou Schuler you cant get a better book than that.

    But feel comfortable in your skin, confidence attracts men its our most primeval trait we still carry other than seeing who can piss the highest icon_lol.gif
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    May 25, 2008 6:23 AM GMT
    not into that meself but darlin with that sexy face and them there muscles ya could do what ya like and I wouldnt complain ha ha ha ha
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 25, 2008 11:27 AM GMT
    Define what think is doable

    I agree with the rest of the boys here on the congratulations for losing the weight
    That's no small feat
    but realize that this is a lifestyle change and that you will be changing constantly over time
    Just don't get a goal in your head that is going to frustrate you and make you drop the ball so to speak

    also be careful of labeling yourself ... by saying that
    you want to be doable means that you're not "doable"
    right now?
    That you're not worthy of having sex?
    icon_confused.gif
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    May 26, 2008 6:31 AM GMT
    Joe, there are so many other factors that might make a guy doable that have nothing to do with looks.

    Your confidence, smile, clothing, friendliness or aloofness, abilty to make small talk, intelligence, charm, interests could all play a role.

    And there are also so many aspects of your look that are not related to your actual body shape - your eyes, haircut, foot size, voice tone, facial and body hair, clean fingernails, shape of ear lobes and so much more that can either attract or repel a guy.

    It's true that one man's meat is another man's poison. So don't expect to be found doable by all guys. And cruising is an art to be learnt.

    My advice would be to find a good, gay friend to give you an honest evaluation and tell you whether there are some aspects you could improve.

    That being said I've found that ironically it's those times I've gone out without shaving,sweaty and wearing sloppy old clothes that I've scored the most???

    It's going to take some time but enjoy the ride. Best wishes to you.
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    May 26, 2008 6:35 AM GMT
    No. You don't need a 6-pac to get a date but seriously you have to weight the options and know your limits in your wants.

    Congrats on losing the weight. I hope you did it for the right reasons instead of doing it to get the attention of someone. As long as you have a cool personality and outlook on life I think you'll find someone who will appreciate you for you.

    Happy hunting and keep up the good work.
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    May 26, 2008 6:41 AM GMT
    yeh seriously joe I can relate to where you are coming from tho having, believe it or not, not that many years ago lept out of the closet and left narnia well behind!

    You are feeling a presure to conform to what you perceive to be a societal norm or even a cliche. What you need is a trip to a big city and a copy of Spartacus. Its a real eye opener when you go somewhere outside of the less metropolitan scene. I work in London there are clubs to cater for all tastes all men and half of them would look at this site and heave at the oh so perfectly formed bodies. Take XXL for example, and not implying you are a big hairy bear, or barcode. To see what I am referring to have a look at this magazine site, www.boyz.co.uk

    When you see clubs like that you suddenly begin to realise actualy your passport is from Planet Gaydania not Planet Mars and that the uber fit 6 packed guy is just one aspect of society as there is in the world you have left behind.

    Heck Im not that into big hairy bears, its the fur on teh back bleurghhhh, but it refreshes the soul to see a bunch of big chunky men letting rip on the dancefloor or in the bar and just being men. Men of all shapes and sizes and confidence levels. But I tell ya this its still damned attractive as confidence is the key.

    At the moment your passport may say you come from Gaydania and you are living in Gaydania but yuo probably cant help feeling like a Martian as you change your boundaries and perceptions.

    Enjoy who you are feel confident in your new found sexuality and chill, theres always someone out there that will worship ya like a demi god icon_wink.gificon_lol.gif

    Welcome to the fold

    xxxxx
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    May 26, 2008 6:57 AM GMT
    oh lord, if doable means stick thin, then don't! Stick with average, it's hawt! icon_wink.gif
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    May 27, 2008 5:10 AM GMT
    The vacuous muscle mary look is so over these days. In London it's beards and beer bellies.
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    May 27, 2008 5:20 AM GMT
    redheadguy saidThe vacuous muscle mary look is so over these days. In London it's beards and beer bellies.


    true, but it's beer guts with muscular bodies. not so much muscle queen and more rugby queen now. HA. and rugby queens with a keen fashion sense at that! i was seriously in heaven during early may's heat wave.
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    May 27, 2008 5:33 AM GMT
    havent really had any experioences o my own yet with a guy, but....its all in the confidence, thats my philosophy! and really, dont think of your ultimate goal to be hittin the bed with sumone who's over-exaggerated standards you've been tryin meet, work out for u, and when you love sumone, well, then theres no muscle, personality, or looks that can stand in the way icon_wink.gif

  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    May 27, 2008 6:02 AM GMT
    I think it's important to be patient when it comes to your fitness goals (even if becoming "doable" is it) and try to get into the mindset that "Fitness" is a lifestyle that you should plan on living the rest of your life and watch the progress as it changes your body, lifts your spirit, and builds your confidence over the long haul. If you're dedicated, and stick to a regular exercise program and healthy diet, you will see results, you'll feel better about yourself, and that increased confidence will make you more "doable" with each passing day. You've come long way already, you should be proud of yourself. Just don't make the mistake of thinking that a six pack makes anyone more "doable" because I am sure there are plenty of guys out there with ripped bods that aren't getting laid, and plenty of overweight or unripped guys that are.
  • joedocker

    Posts: 47

    May 27, 2008 12:47 PM GMT
    You guys are making me feel great about the success I'm having and the journey I'm on, as well as the people on the same path.

    Keep it coming, good and bad. I'm learning a lot on this site.