Started Dating a guy, only like him as a friend, What do i do?

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    Oct 21, 2011 5:11 AM GMT
    I met this guy online, been talking to him for a couple of weeks. I only had seen his pictures on facebook and then we met for coffee. We talked for hours, but i didn't have any sexual attraction to him. We met last week again for dinner and it was fun, but i am really not attracted to him in the same way i feel he is attracted to me. I wouldn't mind being friends with him, because i had fun with him.

    but how do i change our relationship from dating to just friendship?
    I hate rejecting people i don't know how to do it.
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    Oct 21, 2011 5:26 AM GMT
    honestly dude, you have to nip this in the bud now before it gets out of hand. Just tell him straight up..that is the real way to do it. Obviously do it in person. Just tell him hey, I like you, but I dont think we would be good as a couple but that you like him as a friend.

    Worse case scenario, he gets pissed off and never talks to you again.

    Best case scenario, he gets a little hurt, maybe is a little awkward for a while, then you become good friends.

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    Oct 21, 2011 6:11 AM GMT
    Stop being a California flake and just say, let's just be friends. Don't say anything harsh like, "you're not my type".

    Just say, I see us more as friends. If he can't deal, he'll walk. Or stay.
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    Oct 21, 2011 7:02 AM GMT
    Yeah dude, you basically just gotta tell him straight up. You said you didn't like rejecting people, but it's gotta be done.

    I don't like wearing condoms...but it's gotta be done haha
  • Kjonyou

    Posts: 93

    Oct 21, 2011 9:23 AM GMT
    actually I dont think "you are not my type" is that bad. It kind of says "I have really specific dating list I can never fill"

    Harsh would be, "I am just not into YOU."
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    Oct 21, 2011 1:11 PM GMT
    OMG! If the shoe was on the other foot how would you like to be treated!
    This is not Quantum Physics. The trouble with most guys they don't want to come off as looking like tha bad guy. Guess what to be str8 up with a person on how your feeling the best thing that you can do. To string someone along...then you become that guy! icon_rolleyes.gif

    I always tells it like it is if i like you know, if I don't you know. I expect the same.

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    Oct 21, 2011 1:14 PM GMT
    Tell him "You've really let yourself go since we met and I can't date a fatso."

    That should work.

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 21, 2011 1:15 PM GMT
    I would certainly communicate in an "artful" manner. Tell him how you feel.
    Friends are awesome, friends can last. You feel a "friendship" connection with him and that is more important to you (with him) than anything else.
    Leave him with a sense of gain, not loss. I'd be pleased if someone said that to me, skillfully communicated.
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    Oct 21, 2011 1:20 PM GMT
    Oh man I do not envy your situation haha. I hate these awkward kinds of moments. But you need to be honest. I mean sugarcoat it, but be honest. It will be harder to do if yall met with the idea to date.

    I just made a bunch of gay friends and one guy has tried to hit on me several times recently. I just tell him I love hanging out with him and have fun, but we should keep our relationship as a friendship. He says ok and we remain friends. I just have to remind him every so often of this haha and may have to pull the same line soon with another one of them
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    Oct 21, 2011 1:31 PM GMT
    Novaplayer saidI met this guy online, been talking to him for a couple of weeks. I only had seen his pictures on facebook and then we met for coffee. We talked for hours, but i didn't have any sexual attraction to him. We met last week again for dinner and it was fun, but i am really not attracted to him in the same way i feel he is attracted to me. I wouldn't mind being friends with him, because i had fun with him.

    but how do i change our relationship from dating to just friendship?
    I hate rejecting people i don't know how to do it.


    It was a date, not a marriage. You aren't obligated to immediately like someone just because you went on a date with them. The chemistry wasn't there and you aren't attracted to him. Just that simple. If you want to be his friend then be his friend. Throw friendship on the table and if he doesn't want a helping of it then you just move on. Simple as that.
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    Oct 21, 2011 1:40 PM GMT



    You enjoy the friendship, so just tell him you only want friendship.
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    Oct 21, 2011 1:43 PM GMT
    Tell him straight away. If you don't, he will assume that he has a "right" to sex, because he likes you. He won't bother asking whether that's what you want.
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    Oct 21, 2011 1:58 PM GMT
    Brit_in_Canada saidTell him straight away. If you don't, he will assume that he has a "right" to sex, because he likes you. He won't bother asking whether that's what you want.


    I don't think you are in any position to give advice on dating when you couldn't even tell YOUR date to leave before he started cuddling and then "playing" with you. The funny thing is you guys didn't even date yet before this all happened. LOL.
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    Oct 21, 2011 2:20 PM GMT
    Guy101 said
    Brit_in_Canada saidTell him straight away. If you don't, he will assume that he has a "right" to sex, because he likes you. He won't bother asking whether that's what you want.


    I don't think you are in any position to give advice on dating when you couldn't even tell YOUR date to leave before he started cuddling and then "playing" with you. The funny thing is you guys didn't even date yet before this all happened. LOL.


    Well that's because you haven't had sex since the last time you played with yourself.

    Many people are quite happy to have a cuddle. It doesn't mean that it's your manifest destiny to shove your willy up their bum when they turn round to pour you a nice cup of tea.
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    Oct 21, 2011 2:21 PM GMT
    People will tell you the switch can't be done.
    But I'm here to say it can.
    I wouldn't have any gay buddies at all if it weren't for guys I've dated in the past.

    (only downside is when several of them get together and compare notes [blush])
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    Oct 21, 2011 2:39 PM GMT
    Brit_in_Canada said
    Guy101 said
    Brit_in_Canada saidTell him straight away. If you don't, he will assume that he has a "right" to sex, because he likes you. He won't bother asking whether that's what you want.


    I don't think you are in any position to give advice on dating when you couldn't even tell YOUR date to leave before he started cuddling and then "playing" with you. The funny thing is you guys didn't even date yet before this all happened. LOL.


    Well that's because you haven't had sex since the last time you played with yourself.

    Many people are quite happy to have a cuddle. It doesn't mean that it's your manifest destiny to shove your willy up their bum when they turn round to pour you a nice cup of tea.


    LOL I'm sure you know what goes on in my life. Oh wait! You don't because I don't post my personal life online and then look like an idiot in the process like you do. Silly me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2011 2:49 PM GMT
    The 'friends after dating' thing only works if chemistry is lacking on both sides.

    But if he has a crush on you, its best to cut him off. He will heal much faster. And this isn't doing you any favors either. Your new 'friend' is likely to sabotage any new budding relationship, under the misguided hope that you'll be driven back into his arms.
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    Oct 21, 2011 5:35 PM GMT


    Just be honest... As one of my greatest and closest friend that I've met," Honesty can bring you loneliness."
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    Oct 22, 2011 8:38 PM GMT
    i can relate to this. the problem is when you can fuck the guy but don't want to be with him.

    i've always felt that honesty is the best policy, but that's just me
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    Oct 22, 2011 8:42 PM GMT
    You can try these techniques.

    (skip to 2:30)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xplUpR3m0io&feature=relmfu
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    Oct 22, 2011 8:44 PM GMT
    be truthful, put dont expect him to feel the same way about a friendship
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2011 8:46 PM GMT
    Tell the truth man, it hurts like hell when you like someone and they lead you on. Been there. done that.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Oct 22, 2011 8:46 PM GMT
    Novaplayer saidI met this guy online, been talking to him for a couple of weeks. I only had seen his pictures on facebook and then we met for coffee. We talked for hours, but i didn't have any sexual attraction to him. We met last week again for dinner and it was fun, but i am really not attracted to him in the same way i feel he is attracted to me. I wouldn't mind being friends with him, because i had fun with him.

    but how do i change our relationship from dating to just friendship?
    I hate rejecting people i don't know how to do it.
    its pretty simple. however, you might have made it more difficult for yourself because did not state it when you first me. however, just tell him you really enjoy spending time with him but sexually you are not really seeing that as a possibility.
  • no1timehookup...

    Posts: 208

    Oct 23, 2011 12:17 AM GMT
    If you think there's potential for a great friendship, Just tell him you are looking for friends. You are not looking to be in a relationship, but then you have to worry about him wanting to sleep with you.. Then you say I don't sleep with friends.. Works for me, and made a best friend in this situation other than the fact we met in a nightclub..
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    Oct 23, 2011 1:21 AM GMT
    Novaplayer saidStarted Dating a guy, only like him as a friend, What do i do?
    Tell him.
    I've been "dating" a guy for about a month now, and told him up front that I'm non-monogamous and have no intention of a full-time relationship. Funny how well it works out when you're honest. icon_wink.gif