The Future and babies....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2011 12:45 AM GMT
    Ok i might be premature by thinking about my own immortality by passing on my genes..but..i have been wondering. Being that i never really had a long term relationship, and chances are i will only have one with a serious man. Will i end up being a single parent, as i really love kids and i see myself having at least one. So with monogamous relationships being so hard to come by in the gay world, how many of you believe that you will be single parents? And if being single while being a parent is the only option..will you bring a child into the world knowing your the only parent? I did a little online research and i saw that most gay men dont end up becoming parents. If they do become parents, it is one that is not so much involved as hes just a sperm donor to a lesbian couple. Lesbian women are ten times more likely to be parents who are in monogamous relationships. Anyways one of my fav author Stacey-ann Chin is expecting and she is a single Lesbian who is about to become a mom. She wrote a piece on her journey to impending motherhood in an article. I just wanted to know how many of you men believe you will become single parent?
    http://velvetparkmedia.com/blogs/single-lesbians-quest-motherhood
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Oct 22, 2011 12:56 AM GMT
    I won't mind bringing a child into the world as a single parent. A child doesn't need two parents. However I would like to attempt to get into a relationship that will lead to marriage before raising a child. But if I don't get married by a certain time, I will start the procedure to have a baby.
  • matt13226

    Posts: 829

    Oct 22, 2011 1:08 AM GMT
    i would love to have kids but i would like to be married also
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    Oct 22, 2011 1:27 AM GMT
    I would also like to be in a long-term relationship before having kids, but unfortunately life is so unpredictable that things could change in an instant. If I wake up at 37 (my scary age) and I'm still single, I'm going to take control of my life and have a kid. No one is going to tell me how to live my life. If you want something bad enough, you are going to find a way to get it... some way and some how.
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    Oct 22, 2011 1:53 AM GMT
    I'd love to have kids, but I'm waiting until I'm married. My life isn't meaningless if I don't have kids. Raising a kid would be too difficult on my own. I'd spend all of my time working to support us. I'd only see the kid to tuck him/her in at night. If I were rich enough not to have to work full time, then it might be a different story.
  • bolero_of_fir...

    Posts: 551

    Oct 22, 2011 3:03 AM GMT
    Marry a woman.
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    Oct 22, 2011 3:18 AM GMT
    Highly doubt I will have a kid. But I wouldn't mind being a single parent assuming I could afford a full time care taker to help me out. I think a kid needs a full time parent there during the first 5-10 years of their life.
  • rafiki87

    Posts: 331

    Oct 22, 2011 3:26 AM GMT
    Ask one of your bio sisters (if you have any) to donate her eggs?

    She shares the exact same set of genes that you do and have your partner fertilise it.

    So it's technically your own child, genetically.

    Though provided you have a steady partner to begin with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2011 3:28 AM GMT
    Ain't no way in hell I'd bring a child into this world ...especially now. Poor souls..
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Oct 22, 2011 5:51 AM GMT
    i would love to be a dad and really want to. it would be cool to have a partner to help out also but being a single dad would be cool also.
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    Oct 22, 2011 5:58 AM GMT
    I have spent a lot of time thinking about this question in recent years. I stay single precisely because I can't seem to find the caliber of man who could also be a father. Not saying HE has to have kids, but I would certainly like one or two in my future. I am working on a few things now, but if another 10 years pass and I'm still single, then I will start working on making arrangements to be a single parent.
  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Oct 22, 2011 6:09 AM GMT
    I'd like to be a parent, but I'm not sure if it's in the works. I'd try to adopt, since I just don't think the world really needs another person that I need to create (although the biologist in me really wants to pass on my genetic material).

    If I do not adopt my own kids, I think I'd try to teach the kids of my friends and family as much as possible. Or, start teaching in my profession to better the youth of today for tomorrow.
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    Oct 22, 2011 6:10 AM GMT
    hmm I dont believe in single parenthood...though my mom was single most of her life,I always did have many older people around, including grandparents, older siblings, so on the whole I feel Ive been raised in an extended family, with lots of siblings as well

    i think extended families are a much better and more natural way of raising children... not only is it less of a burden on the sole parent, who often has to both win bread and look after them.... both of which are difficult to do.... by sharing the tasks of raising them, like most women do in traditional societies, the burden is lessened and the child (including I) grows up with a large social group to bond with ....

    Not to mention, I think kids need moms... boys need "male role models"..but all children need at least a woman's touch .. i feel its just biologically ingrained into women to give a certain nurturing warmth that men dont give... men are there to toughen up the boys and teach them how to be men, but the women have to nurture...

    So I decided a long time ago, that if I had kids, I would raise them with brothers, sisters, cousins, friends, in a large extended family, with their kids, with their and with my parents/grandparents there.. with lots of generations, so the kids can also have women in their lives, and have lots of other kids to play with... in a very traditional sense... lots of caretakers, lots of generations, a large family.... most research has shown such children tend to grow up better adjusted as well I believe
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2011 9:40 AM GMT
    If I find the right guy maybe, but I'ma bit of a commitment phobe. I wouldn't mind having a child alone, my family would support me.
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    Oct 22, 2011 7:37 PM GMT
    ok cool..i see most of you guys want kids..but wouldn't mind doing the parenting on your own if you happen to not find the right guy. Its no so much doing the parenting im concerned with..its just that im the only male child for my parents..so i wanted my last name to be past on..as it kinda has lots of legacy/ history to it..especially back home.and it would mean something. So i guess thats my way of being immortal in a sense.to either past on the name or in case its a girl (-) just the genes of mini me..well gaining personal immortality like what Kant believes in.
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    Oct 22, 2011 7:41 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidMaybe adopt and older kid or be a foster parent? Someone that is older?
    Now you're talkin.. too many throw aways produced from dingbat 'procreators' who worship a book they refuse to obey.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2011 7:41 PM GMT
    I am far to self-centered and immature to trust myself with the task or raising a child.
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    Oct 22, 2011 7:41 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    TropicalMark saidAin't no way in hell I'd bring a child into this world ...especially now. Poor souls..
    You'd be a badass dad. Just sayin'.
    I know.. my entire family and circle of friends have told me for years I'd be a great dad.. LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2011 7:44 PM GMT
    If I was supremely wealthy I would have children. It would be too hard to do by myself on an average salary.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2011 7:52 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidMaybe adopt and older kid or be a foster parent? Someone that is older?
    This is probably what I'll want to do... (When I'm older than the kid himself, though.)
    You already are! icon_wink.gif
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Oct 22, 2011 8:01 PM GMT
    I hope u know "having kids" isn't all the glitz and glamour u think it is.

    ur kid could end up retarded? or like ADD or something and have all sorts of problems and they're expensive too. What is he's like some dork and doesnt have any friends in school?? and then gets all depressed and is like suicidal or something? now, u have to cringe everytime u get a phone call late at night hoping its not the police on the other end saying ur kid killed himself.

    or ur kid goes to a party and never comes home. Now, you're all up and worried like omg, wtf?>!?!?! that little asshole shoulda called me... but u find up he drunk drove home and is dead in a car accident

    ur kid could borrow ur car one night, smoke pot with his friends and get caught and thrown in jail, now u gotta bail his ass out, plus pay for a lawyer and everything else associated with it/

    what if the kid breaks his neck in a car accident? and now u have a quadropalegic (sp?) on ur hands

    I mean, ur kid could turn out to be some disease prone kid, constantly in the hospital for asthma, or digestive issues. Costly medical bills, late nights in the ER, maybe ur kid might be austistic? could u imagine? having an autistic kid u would have to essentially raise the rest of ur life. . they never grow up.

    I'm not trying to paint a negative picture at all, but im just sayin, be happy that u dont have kids for now. Adopt one perhaps/. A russian orpahn would be most grateful im sure, as they have nothing. They barely even get held in their life, which is prob why they're always so fucked up, but if u adopt it early on and give it lots of attention u could save his/her life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2011 8:11 PM GMT
    Import saidI hope u know "having kids" isn't all the glitz and glamour u think it is.

    ur kid could end up retarded? or like ADD or something and have all sorts of problems and they're expensive too. What is he's like some dork and doesnt have any friends in school?? and then gets all depressed and is like suicidal or something? now, u have to cringe everytime u get a phone call late at night hoping its not the police on the other end saying ur kid killed himself.

    or ur kid goes to a party and never comes home. Now, you're all up and worried like omg, wtf?>!?!?! that little asshole shoulda called me... but u find up he drunk drove home and is dead in a car accident

    ur kid could borrow ur car one night, smoke pot with his friends and get caught and thrown in jail, now u gotta bail his ass out, plus pay for a lawyer and everything else associated with it/

    what if the kid breaks his neck in a car accident? and now u have a quadropalegic (sp?) on ur hands

    I mean, ur kid could turn out to be some disease prone kid, constantly in the hospital for asthma, or digestive issues. Costly medical bills, late nights in the ER, maybe ur kid might be austistic? could u imagine? having an autistic kid u would have to essentially raise the rest of ur life. . they never grow up.

    I'm not trying to paint a negative picture at all, but im just sayin, be happy that u dont have kids for now. Adopt one perhaps/. A russian orpahn would be most grateful im sure, as they have nothing. They barely even get held in their life, which is prob why they're always so fucked up, but if u adopt it early on and give it lots of attention u could save his/her life.


    dont be a debbie downer...and if you start off parenting right..i doubt a child will end up in these predicaments..plus im not American..the first misstep he/she takes he/she will def get a severe ass whopping so he will be afraid to do anything wrong.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2011 8:16 PM GMT
    Import saidI hope u know "having kids" isn't all the glitz and glamour u think it is.

    It isnt about the "glitz and glamour".
    Raising/rearing Children is about love and GIVING(and thats hard work)... Its about THEM, not you.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Oct 22, 2011 8:16 PM GMT
    tereseus1 said
    Import saidI hope u know "having kids" isn't all the glitz and glamour u think it is.

    ur kid could end up retarded? or like ADD or something and have all sorts of problems and they're expensive too. What is he's like some dork and doesnt have any friends in school?? and then gets all depressed and is like suicidal or something? now, u have to cringe everytime u get a phone call late at night hoping its not the police on the other end saying ur kid killed himself.

    or ur kid goes to a party and never comes home. Now, you're all up and worried like omg, wtf?>!?!?! that little asshole shoulda called me... but u find up he drunk drove home and is dead in a car accident

    ur kid could borrow ur car one night, smoke pot with his friends and get caught and thrown in jail, now u gotta bail his ass out, plus pay for a lawyer and everything else associated with it/

    what if the kid breaks his neck in a car accident? and now u have a quadropalegic (sp?) on ur hands

    I mean, ur kid could turn out to be some disease prone kid, constantly in the hospital for asthma, or digestive issues. Costly medical bills, late nights in the ER, maybe ur kid might be austistic? could u imagine? having an autistic kid u would have to essentially raise the rest of ur life. . they never grow up.

    I'm not trying to paint a negative picture at all, but im just sayin, be happy that u dont have kids for now. Adopt one perhaps/. A russian orpahn would be most grateful im sure, as they have nothing. They barely even get held in their life, which is prob why they're always so fucked up, but if u adopt it early on and give it lots of attention u could save his/her life.


    dont be a debbie downer...and if you start off parenting right..i doubt a child will end up in these predicaments..plus im not American..the first misstep he/she takes he/she will def get a severe ass whopping so he will be afraid to do anything wrong.


    hows describing real life scenarios that have happened to real people being a "debbie downer?"

    just cuz u whoop ur kids ass doesn;'t mean he/she wont go out and do stupid shit.

    u prob have this idea in ur head like "omg, im going to be such a great daddy and love my kid to pieces, we'll make model airplanes together and i'll teach him to play ball and omg, its gonna be so much fun!"


  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Oct 22, 2011 8:17 PM GMT
    Import saidI hope u know "having kids" isn't all the glitz and glamour u think it is.

    ur kid could end up retarded? or like ADD or something and have all sorts of problems and they're expensive too. What is he's like some dork and doesnt have any friends in school?? and then gets all depressed and is like suicidal or something? now, u have to cringe everytime u get a phone call late at night hoping its not the police on the other end saying ur kid killed himself.

    or ur kid goes to a party and never comes home. Now, you're all up and worried like omg, wtf?>!?!?! that little asshole shoulda called me... but u find up he drunk drove home and is dead in a car accident

    ur kid could borrow ur car one night, smoke pot with his friends and get caught and thrown in jail, now u gotta bail his ass out, plus pay for a lawyer and everything else associated with it/

    what if the kid breaks his neck in a car accident? and now u have a quadropalegic (sp?) on ur hands

    I mean, ur kid could turn out to be some disease prone kid, constantly in the hospital for asthma, or digestive issues. Costly medical bills, late nights in the ER, maybe ur kid might be austistic? could u imagine? having an autistic kid u would have to essentially raise the rest of ur life. . they never grow up.

    I'm not trying to paint a negative picture at all, but im just sayin, be happy that u dont have kids for now. Adopt one perhaps/. A russian orpahn would be most grateful im sure, as they have nothing. They barely even get held in their life, which is prob why they're always so fucked up, but if u adopt it early on and give it lots of attention u could save his/her life.


    Yeap.

    Your kid could also be an eminent microbiologist and find a cure to AIDS.

    Every medal has two sides...