I have another question about meeting people long distance...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 22, 2011 3:36 AM GMT
    A couple days ago I asked about LDRs and how do guys who are in them manage to keep things churning along seamlessly.

    Well, I logged onto my profile (on another site) tonight and seen that the guy who I was referring to is online. I know, I'm shouldn't expect him to take his profile down so soone; but he told me he was going out of town right? Well I see his ad has the city where he went out of town at which makes me think he's probably trying to hookup with another guy in that city.

    So now, it's got me wondering, how do I know that he doesn't do this everywhere he goes? Meets a guy out of town, go on a few dates and then moves on to the next?

    I'll admit I'm a bit jealous that he's back online again but then again I'm online also, but I'm kind of considering making something happen...but he did assure me he certainly wants me to come see him this time in his city next weekend.

    I hope I don't sound too needy LOL. At the same time, I don't want to get my hopes up and expect more from this then what may actually be there.

    I feel played. That's why I don't like meeting guys on adam sometimes. Seem like they always looking. Bachelor forever icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 22, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    You've already answered this BUT:

    1) Has he made any commitment to you?

    2) There's humility in the fact that your are searching online yourself. Can you justifiably blame him?

    When seeking relationships with others we avoid getting hurt if we set expectations where they should be a.k.a you shouldn't have any.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 22, 2011 3:45 AM GMT
    mochamuscle saidA couple days ago I asked about LDRs and how do guys who are in them manage to keep things churning along seamlessly.

    Well, I logged onto my profile (on another site) tonight and seen that the guy who I was referring to is online. I know, I'm shouldn't expect him to take his profile down so soone; but he told me he was going out of town right? Well I see his ad has the city where he went out of town at which makes me think he's probably trying to hookup with another guy in that city.

    So now, it's got me wondering, how do I know that he doesn't do this everywhere he goes? Meets a guy out of town, go on a few dates and then moves on to the next?

    I'll admit I'm a bit jealous that he's back online again but then again I'm online also, but I'm kind of considering making something happen...but he did assure me he certainly wants me to come see him this time in his city next weekend.

    I hope I don't sound too needy LOL. At the same time, I don't want to get my hopes up and expect more from this then what may actually be there.

    I feel played. That's why I don't like meeting guys on adam sometimes. Seem like they always looking. Bachelor forever icon_neutral.gif


    It sounds like you implicitly answered your own questions and concerns, but allow me to highlight them:

    You absolutely do not know if he does this in every city he goes, or if he doesn't. In fact, you don't even know someone really well based on your interactions with them online. It sounds like from your other thread, that you perhaps have met this guy a few times. I hate to say this, but meeting someone once or twice a month is not a way to actually find out what type of person this guy is. You should really be treading the waters lightly, and trying to figure him out a little more. Make sure he is honest, and if you can't, then you need to wait a bit longer. You should also ask yourself if this is just some sort of forced infatuation, or if you really like him. Then again, it sounds like you don't know him that well. You can be anyone you want online.

    None of what I mentioned above should deter you from going on dates, but I wouldn't give your heart to him just yet, until you know him a bit better.

    Best of luck to you man!