Side Comment at party: "Your western clothes are anti gay"....

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 22, 2011 2:40 PM GMT
    Now I've heard alot of funny and wild things at parties, but one I heard last night takes the cake. I would have been slightly irritated, but I viewed it as being really pretty outragious and fortunately several people who heard the
    comment thought so as well.

    Colder now in Kansas as it is most places in the US. Shorts in the evening are fading to jeans and warmer clothes. I was wearing a short sleeved Ralph lauren polo shirt and my typical jeans, western belt, buckle and an
    awesome pair of Reebok zigs. An acquaintance (our mutual friend was throwing the party) approached me and asked me several questions about how all was going professionally and personally. He has a history of making off the wall comments. I'll call him Mike. The conversation went like this:

    Mike: "So when did you get into western clothes, where's the boots?" (chuckle)

    Me: "At home in the closet, I usually just wear boots during the winter.. and I've been into western clothes since I started riding horses when I was 10, especially through high school".

    Mike: "Well you realize they are anti gay don't you?"

    Me: What?

    Mike: "Yeah, like those red necks, do you want to be like them? They hate gays".

    Me: "I wear what I like and western clothes are not "red neckin or anti gay".

    (A couple of mutual friends chimed in that western clothes don't mean anything and that "rednecks" aren't necessarily anti gay)

    Mike: "I still think you are supporting anti gay views with what you wear, Chris" He turned and walked away....

    I have to say I thought the assertion was so weird I started laughing. I've never heard such a thing before. I wish the whole thing was a joke, but
    I think he really believed what he was saying. The things you hear at parties....LOL
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    Oct 22, 2011 2:46 PM GMT
    Well Kansan, you probably look awesome with the western look. I'm sure the individual was jealous that you could dare to look so good.
    Tell him to see "Brokeback Mountain."
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    Oct 22, 2011 2:55 PM GMT
    Clearly he has never seen broke back mountain...

    The world is awash with gay cowboys
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Oct 22, 2011 2:58 PM GMT
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  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14380

    Oct 22, 2011 3:01 PM GMT
    That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard, western style clothes being redneck and anti-gay. This guy must be a real idiot to believe such hyperbole. Will driving a pickup truck be the next thing to be seriously considered anti-gayicon_question.gif
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    Oct 22, 2011 3:06 PM GMT
    What exactly are "Western" clothes? Like cowboy clothing, plaids jeans and boots? HOT. Like heath ledger in that movie? Does wearing it come with an accent? Yes please.

    Maybe your friend was bullied or mistreated by some cowboys. Be kind to him.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Oct 22, 2011 3:06 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan said
    Mike: "I still think you are supporting anti gay views with what you wear, Chris" He turned and walked away....


    I don't like Mike. That was the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Clearly Mike has never been to a "Gay Rodeo".
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    Oct 22, 2011 3:10 PM GMT
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 22, 2011 3:26 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ said
    HndsmKansan said
    Mike: "I still think you are supporting anti gay views with what you wear, Chris" He turned and walked away....


    I don't like Mike. That was the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Clearly Mike has never been to a "Gay Rodeo".


    LOL@Todd... well Mike might have been trying to get a rise out of me rather than believing what he was saying. However he can be a loose canon and has picked at my fitness scene once or twice, mainly about the priority I place on my time at the gym.

    But we do have rednecks and some of those people don't have much flexibility in their views... and many are into jeans, belt buckles, guns, and trucks. I think to somehow "connect the dots" that these people are "antigay" makes no sense. Gay guys come in all sizes, colors races and ..... clothing preferences. LOL
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Oct 22, 2011 3:33 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidI think to somehow "connect the dots" that these people are "antigay" makes no sense. Gay guys come in all sizes, colors races and ..... clothing preferences. LOL



    Maybe you should have asked Mike what you should where that screams "Pro-Gay". What was Mike wearing...a dress?
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    Oct 22, 2011 3:55 PM GMT
    When someone makes a ridiculous comment that might be out of character for them, if that's the case, and they weren't joking, you might consider another possibility. Maybe Mike has doubts about his own sexuality and tries to demonstrate to himself his straightness, in part by "straight" dress. When you state and show that dress patterns do not indicate sexuality, you might be threatening his own insecurities. You might buy him a rainbow flag and suggest he keep it hidden in the privacy of his bedroom.
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    Oct 22, 2011 4:17 PM GMT
    All good comments above me here, but another scenario might be the guy is covertly interested in you and wants to chat you up - spend time with you, and makes sometimes odd attempts at conversation. He might be on the fence sexually - but would never, ever admit it. He might just like being in your presence, and from what you say - he has a history of making off the wall comments. I know a guy like that - - kind of similar comments coming from him, but not about work out routines or clothes..........instead this guy (very closeted but absolutely into guys) has made critical comments and little cuts about my cars (scanning them as a judge would do at a Concours d'Elegance). I used to be privately annoyed until I realized he just wants to hang out, but doesn't know how to go about keeping a conversation going without reverting to little digs. I think guys like our two examples don't mean to be annoying, but instead they like getting a little rise out of us. Notice whether your guy gets a slight smile on his face when he watches your face to see if he is getting to you. Just a thought.
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    Oct 22, 2011 4:28 PM GMT
    Let him say that to Willie Nelson...the ultimate Redneck Cowboy from Austin, TX, and about as progressive, liberal and gay friendly as they come. icon_razz.gif

    Every gay man (and cowboy) should listen to Willie...

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    Oct 22, 2011 4:30 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidNow I've heard alot of funny and wild things at parties, but one I heard last night takes the cake. I would have been slightly irritated, but I viewed it as being really pretty outragious and fortunately several people who heard the
    comment thought so as well.

    Colder now in Kansas as it is most places in the US. Shorts in the evening are fading to jeans and warmer clothes. I was wearing a short sleeved Ralph lauren polo shirt and my typical jeans, western belt, buckle and an
    awesome pair of Reebok zigs. An acquaintance (our mutual friend was throwing the party) approached me and asked me several questions about how all was going professionally and personally. He has a history of making off the wall comments. I'll call him Mike. The conversation went like this:

    Mike: "So when did you get into western clothes, where's the boots?" (chuckle)

    Me: "At home in the closet, I usually just wear boots during the winter.. and I've been into western clothes since I started riding horses when I was 10, especially through high school".

    Mike: "Well you realize they are anti gay don't you?"

    Me: What?

    Mike: "Yeah, like those red necks, do you want to be like them? They hate gays".

    Me: "I wear what I like and western clothes are not "red neckin or anti gay".

    (A couple of mutual friends chimed in that western clothes don't mean anything and that "rednecks" aren't necessarily anti gay)

    Mike: "I still think you are supporting anti gay views with what you wear, Chris" He turned and walked away....

    I have to say I thought the assertion was so weird I started laughing. I've never heard such a thing before. I wish the whole thing was a joke, but
    I think he really believed what he was saying. The things you hear at parties....LOL


    He sounds like a white Liberal, in other words, a douche.
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    Oct 22, 2011 4:35 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan said

    Mike: "I still think you are supporting anti gay views with what you wear, Chris" He turned and walked away....



    No political ideology or belief has a complete monopoly on lack of tact or stupidity.
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    Oct 22, 2011 4:39 PM GMT
    Last year one the way to a Toys for Tots toy collection party being thrown by a prominent gay man in town I stopped and bought some toys at the local Walgreens, mostly toy cars and two electronic fighter jets. When I arrived a friend I was with got into conversation with some guys he know who were smoking outside the front door and one of them asked what I bought so I showed him.

    He got this disgusted look on his face and said “So you support the military, I guess you are a gay-hating racist tea bagger?”

    I was polite in my response that I didn’t understand the connection he was making between simple toys and any political affiliation I have and he replied loudly that people who support the military are "right wing and anti-gay racist tea baggers", and gave another disgusted look. Everyone who had been talking got quiet and everyone looked at me.

    The conversation ended when I explaining that using his logic he must also be a "gay-hating hating racist tea bagger", since he was attending a Toys for Tots event, which is a program run by the United States Marine Corps Reserve. He had this look of horror on his face, and proceeded to walk away and down the street, leaving the event and his friends at the door.

    I guess he didn’t know…

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  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 22, 2011 5:14 PM GMT
    JackNWNJ said


    He sounds like a white Liberal, in other words, a douche.



    Actually he "sounds" like just the opposite.... he is apolitical. He'll complain about anything without any supporting dialogue to his
    commentary. I heard hiim reference the Palin woman in a derogatory manner, but in the same breath, he would denouce any of our good democratic folks.
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    Oct 22, 2011 5:20 PM GMT
    I once met a guy who wore "Western clothes" and when he went to gay bars, everyone assumed he was straight and when he told guys he was gay, they didn't believe him!! icon_eek.gificon_lol.gif and guys where like, you can't be gay, what are you really doing here?
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    Oct 22, 2011 5:29 PM GMT
    SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT icon_eek.gif Must go burn that Western Shirt I have hiding in my closet before the men in P-Town hear I am hoarding anti-Gay Paraphernalia! Oh wait, It's from Banana Republic- It's Gay-Okay *Sigh*
  • suedeheadscot

    Posts: 1130

    Oct 22, 2011 5:34 PM GMT
    If I had the technological skills, I would be copying and pasting photos from the On Top Wrestling's "Cowboy Wrestling" porn series here!! Thats how "anti-gay" some of these clothes are!!
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 22, 2011 5:45 PM GMT
    Next time, be sure to wear the pink bandanna also...icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 22, 2011 6:11 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidMe: What?

    +1,000,000
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    Oct 22, 2011 6:20 PM GMT
    Since when is a Ralph Lauren polo considered "western" that's pretty preppy... I don't see many cowboys riding around in their Ralph....
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    Oct 22, 2011 6:37 PM GMT
    apdt80 saidLast year one the way to a Toys for Tots toy collection party being thrown by a prominent gay man in town I stopped and bought some toys at the local Walgreens, mostly toy cars and two electronic fighter jets. When I arrived a friend I was with got into conversation with some guys he know who were smoking outside the front door and one of them asked what I bought so I showed him.

    He got this disgusted look on his face and said “So you support the military, I guess you are a gay-hating racist tea bagger?”

    I was polite in my response that I didn’t understand the connection he was making between simple toys and any political affiliation I have and he replied loudly that people who support the military are "right wing and anti-gay racist tea baggers", and gave another disgusted look. Everyone who had been talking got quiet and everyone looked at me.

    The conversation ended when I explaining that using his logic he must also be a "gay-hating hating racist tea bagger", since he was attending a Toys for Tots event, which is a program run by the United States Marine Corps Reserve. He had this look of horror on his face, and proceeded to walk away and down the street, leaving the event and his friends at the door.

    I guess he didn’t know…

    icon_cool.gif


    You said exactly the right thing. What is wrong with some people - trying to start a fight with snarky wise cracks? And you notice that when you gave him back a serving of his own medicine - he retreated just like the little Pez Dispenser he actually is? Good for you.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 22, 2011 6:41 PM GMT
    WiGuy444 saidSince when is a Ralph Lauren polo considered "western" that's pretty preppy... I don't see many cowboys riding around in their Ralph....


    Good observation. I really have my own style and I'm all about my RL polo shirts. True I don the western belt, buckle and have my Montana Silversmiths watches, but with the shorts scene, my rugby pullovers, etc, its really more just about style than my "wearing western clothes". I have
    straight friends that wear wranglers all the time. I own a pair or two, but don't wear them often.