How do you know when it's a good time to come out to friends?

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    Oct 24, 2011 12:46 PM GMT
    I'm only out to a few people and not to all of my friends, but I'm getting to the point where I'm sick of being in the closet and having to hide who I really am. And I am tired of having to go along with the "straight act" when I'm around my guy friends like "oh yeah sure Megan Fox is hot" and pretending to be into girls and stuff like that. I'm just afraid my friends will hate me for it and stop talking to me, or that my guy friends are guma think I'm into them just cuz I'm gay or whatever...

    Any advice?
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    Oct 24, 2011 12:51 PM GMT
    I never had a "coming out" event to my friends... When I came out to them, we were just at lunch discussing our weekend or something and when asked what my plans were for the week I said, "I have a date! I'm really looking forward to it... His name is Kyle. Seems like a cool guy." The conversation progressed more or less normally from that point.

    The more you treat your sexuality as normal and not a big deal, the more easily your friends will digest it as not a big deal.
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    Oct 24, 2011 1:27 PM GMT
    i was out at the lakefront with some friends at a car club meet. we were camped around our cars and the conversation went: Friend "Did you see that mean-ass subie with the custom paint?" Me "Yeah, by the way, you know I'm gay right?" Friend "FINALLY!!"

    apparently everyone knew, lol. and that's rare.
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    Oct 24, 2011 1:31 PM GMT
    FunCollegeDude saidHow do you know when it's a good time to come out to friends?
    When they're naked.
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    Oct 24, 2011 1:38 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    FunCollegeDude saidHow do you know when it's a good time to come out to friends?
    When they're naked.


    That has generally been my approach. Alternate, is when you're asked to dig into their pockets for change when their hands are holding 2 beers...icon_idea.gif
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    Oct 24, 2011 1:40 PM GMT
    MarriedAdam said
    paulflexes said
    FunCollegeDude saidHow do you know when it's a good time to come out to friends?
    When they're naked.


    That has generally been my approach. Alternate, is when you're asked to dig into their pockets for change when their hands are holding 2 beers...icon_idea.gif
    "Change" from soft and small to big and hard?
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    Oct 24, 2011 1:57 PM GMT
    I agree with Larkin,

    I recently came out to a couple friends, women, and a couple gays guys at work, a physical therapist and a financal guy in the main office and I did as Larkin says. I didn't make it a big deal and neither did they.


    I don't put it in thier face and I feel better about things.

    I don't have any close guy friends, I wish I did.

    I think the small group of guys I hang with a work in another department already know somehow. I act like a regular guy with them, beacuse I am, but I just get turned on by certain guys.

    mike
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    Oct 24, 2011 2:19 PM GMT
    I sat my best friend down and told him I'm gay. At first he didn't believe me so that was weird. But he was very accepting and a good friend. Nothing has changed except we are way more open and able to talk about anything. (who knew str8 guys get rimjobs too lol and now he knows a lot of things about gay life too. Plus I now have sum1 I can talk to about guy troubles, since I always have listened to his girl troubles) it has only made our relationship closer. And now I don't need to lie ever again about what I'm doing or where I'm going or why I can't chill some nights.
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    Oct 24, 2011 2:21 PM GMT
    i wont ... n there will no be a good time to do it ... cuz none will understand icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 24, 2011 2:49 PM GMT
    Cairo_M saidi wont ... n there will no be a good time to do it ... cuz none will understand icon_smile.gif



    I am an expert in nothing,,,,,,but think about your whole life. you don't think they will someday think you're gay.

    I don't date women, I am not married, I have no children. Do you think my family knows already? I didn't tell them or did I.

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    Oct 24, 2011 3:12 PM GMT
    Wish I had words of wisdom for you, but I don't....other the don't get married, have kids and wait another 25. Trust me, I would not recommend it and it doesn't get any easier. icon_eek.gif
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    Oct 24, 2011 3:48 PM GMT
    I'm not sure, but I live with a roommate who doesn't know, and I haven't been so secretive about being on RJ, so perhaps by now he has seen the "Gay Forums" on my computer :p
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Oct 24, 2011 3:55 PM GMT
    ...whenever they ask . . . ?