Coming-out advice needed...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 24, 2011 3:53 PM GMT
    I leave for the Navy
  • joselitoo

    Posts: 41

    Oct 24, 2011 4:25 PM GMT
    You musnt be afraid of coming out to your mom...

    I mean... Your mother loves you and would does everything, that her son will be happy in life...
    You are living with a lie for a long long time, for the purpose not to make your mother unhappy. Maybe your mother will be unhappy, but she wont hate you..

    If its too hard for you, just write a letter with all your thaughts and feelings and give it to her on the day of your leaving
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    Oct 24, 2011 5:01 PM GMT
    Yeah.. If you're gonna come out to her, please do it soon enough that she has time to talk to you, and come to terms with it somewhat before you leave. Don't do it the day you go. That's just fucked up. And imagine the awkward conversations you'll have to have with her, after making a statement like that.
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    Oct 24, 2011 7:09 PM GMT
    I agree with the others, you sound like you are scared to come out to your mother and that's understandable as it's not easy for some people to do. I know I was when I came out to my father and stepmother though that happened unexpectedly but that's different.

    But from what you said, your mother loved and raised you so she really loves you and I honestly think that she wouldn't hate you for that. I mean, I'm not denying that she probably won't be uncomfortable with it, that is a possibly but if the honest truth is that if you don't come out to her as soon as you can (reasonably), it can come back and haunt you in the back of your mind.

    If I were you, I would tell her because I remember before I came out, my dad would always tell me to get a girlfriend and it was annoying for me so when I came out, that all finally ceased. My dad was uncomfortable about it but never disowned me or my brother (he is gay too only he came out before I did) and as years went by, he finally accepted it and that was that.

    You never know what can happen. Just do what you feel is right.
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    Oct 24, 2011 7:53 PM GMT
    i still havent come out to my mother... I have only known her for 9 yrs ( i was adopted) and yet while i think it will only hurt her further, it has left me unable to talk to her for like the past year.... should i really care what she thinks, and if it hurts her??? since i have come out, i seem to be hurting alot of people who 'thought' i was something, or someone else....
    anyways, you should tell her...
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    Nov 11, 2012 8:07 PM GMT
    hairyandym saidi still havent come out to my mother... I have only known her for 9 yrs ( i was adopted) and yet while i think it will only hurt her further, it has left me unable to talk to her for like the past year.... should i really care what she thinks, and if it hurts her??? since i have come out, i seem to be hurting alot of people who 'thought' i was something, or someone else....
    anyways, you should tell her...


    Those people are making you responsible for how they feel so you are not hurting people by coming out. Never feel as though you are hurting someone in any process; you have to do what makes you feel good.
  • hawkeye7

    Posts: 565

    Nov 11, 2012 8:25 PM GMT
    hi Kevan
    It is ok, you will do it in your own time.
    What is really amazing is the weight that floats off your shoulders and drifts away. You will be free. because of my age I had to choose between freedom and the navy, I choose freedom. I envy you that you can have both today.
    You will discover that all it really comes down to is just be the man
    be the man your mother loves be the man your dog or cat loves
    Just be the man.
  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Nov 11, 2012 8:29 PM GMT
    lolwut?
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    Nov 11, 2012 8:41 PM GMT
    hawkeye7 said
    What is really amazing is the weight that floats off your shoulders and drifts away.


    ^^ this. Just give her enough time to process it and discuss it with you before you leave. If not, she'll have to work it through without you being around to answer the many legitimate questions that she will have. Waiting until you return for an extended amount of time may be the better option.
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    Nov 11, 2012 8:42 PM GMT
    Oh my diety. 1. Your mom really doesn't need to know. 2. If she gives you a hard time she's a bigoted bitch. 3. If it's bugging you, put all the religious nonsense of to the side, and I just say "I dig guys." It's done. It's over with.

    Save the drama for the theater. Put on your big boy boots and get on with your life.

    Your preferences don't need approval. You own this. If someone else wants to be head fucked over it it's their issue and not yours. That's their problem; not yours.

    Unless you plan on fucking someone, they really don't need to know what you jerk off to. That's reality. If your comfort level is better telling folks and having integrity...then...do so...but...it's absolutely 100% stupid to beat yourself up over it. DUMB.

    Get on with life.