TOP-Verse taking it up the a$$...

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    Oct 24, 2011 6:35 PM GMT
    First post, be gentle. icon_smile.gif

    I've been dating a guy for the past 2 months. He's wonderful, cute, funny and I love him. However, he prefers to top and I am not very much into it especially since he's hung (about 8 and thick), and I'm a typical Asian. icon_smile.gif As of now, we are mostly into BJs etc, which is all fine by me.

    Honestly, I have tried it before with my X (my first BF), but he was definitely a lot "smaller" compared to this guy (Black/White mix). I really love this guy though and would like to please him, so eventually we would have to it.

    Any tips on how I can make it a non-intimidating experience? Thanks to all in advance!
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    Oct 24, 2011 6:50 PM GMT
    I never bottomed before this year... So as a fellow top, I'll say it's going to hurt. No way around that... even if your boyfriend weren't hung, if you're not used to having something up there, it's going to hurt at first. The best you can do when it gets to that point is hope he's gentle and if he's a good boyfriend he will be. Eventually the body adjusts and gets used to it...

    And once you get used to it, it'll probably be some of the most eye-rolling, toe-curling sex you've had.

    My boyfriend wasn't as big as yours though... You may consider, uh, prepping yourself. That is, get a few dildos or butt plugs of varying sizes and practice a bit. It should make the actual experience less traumatic.
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    Oct 24, 2011 9:14 PM GMT
    Larkin_PLR saidI never bottomed before this year... So as a fellow top, I'll say it's going to hurt. No way around that... even if your boyfriend weren't hung, if you're not used to having something up there, it's going to hurt at first. The best you can do when it gets to that point is hope he's gentle and if he's a good boyfriend he will be. Eventually the body adjusts and gets used to it...

    And once you get used to it, it'll probably be some of the most eye-rolling, toe-curling sex you've had.

    My boyfriend wasn't as big as yours though... You may consider, uh, prepping yourself. That is, get a few dildos or butt plugs of varying sizes and practice a bit. It should make the actual experience less traumatic.


    May I ask you another more personal question?
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    Oct 24, 2011 9:16 PM GMT
    Sure... if you'd like lol
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    Oct 24, 2011 9:37 PM GMT
    It's all about adjustment getting yourself ready. Larkin is right. Eventually you just get used to it and it gets easier the more you do it.
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    Oct 25, 2011 12:41 AM GMT
    Thanks guys! Appreciate the advise. Toys...hmmmm.
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    Oct 25, 2011 12:59 AM GMT
    Larkin_PLR saidI never bottomed before this year... So as a fellow top, I'll say it's going to hurt. No way around that...



    Not necessarily true. My first BF was hung... but was also an amazing top, took it slow, used lube... Not a hint of pain.
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    Oct 25, 2011 1:13 AM GMT
    I keep Anal Ease in my sex trunk for first timers/newbies and that seems to work very well. Anal Ease is a desensitizing lubricant. You should be very careful if you're going to use it, though, because you could have an anal tear during penetration and not know it. If that doesn't work, just go to Safeway and buy a tub of Crisco.
  • FriscoJansen

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    Oct 25, 2011 1:34 AM GMT
    I'm going to need pics to make a proper analysis of the situation please thank you.
    Well you know its the math, circumference, etc. You wouldn't understand it quite yet. And I'll use my ass as the comparison or test sample. So dont worry about that part k thank you!icon_razz.gif
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    Oct 25, 2011 2:27 AM GMT
    DOMINUS saidI keep Anal Ease in my sex trunk for first timers/newbies and that seems to work very well. Anal Ease is a desensitizing lubricant. You should be very careful if you're going to use it, though, because you could have an anal tear during penetration and not know it. If that doesn't work, just go to Safeway and buy a tub of Crisco.

    Anal ease I heard is sometimes bad cause of the whole desensitizing, basically if it's too strong for you well you won't feel if you get hurt and stuff
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    Oct 25, 2011 8:21 AM GMT
    Pharaoh_Atem said
    DOMINUS saidI keep Anal Ease in my sex trunk for first timers/newbies and that seems to work very well. Anal Ease is a desensitizing lubricant. You should be very careful if you're going to use it, though, because you could have an anal tear during penetration and not know it. If that doesn't work, just go to Safeway and buy a tub of Crisco.

    Anal ease I heard is sometimes bad cause of the whole desensitizing, basically if it's too strong for you well you won't feel if you get hurt and stuff


    Yeah I don't think it's a good idea, some discomfort and a small amount of pain is common when you are just getting used to bottoming, but pain is your body's way of telling you it is being damaged...if you remove that, you could do yourself some serious injury without even realising it.

    If he's gentle/slow, preps you good, lubes up plenty, it shouldn't hurt as in "Arrrrrrrrgh!!" though it might sting initially or ache a bit afterwards, until you are more confident and competent.

    I also don't recommend using Crisco, it's not condom-safe and you ARE making him use a condom, right?
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    Oct 25, 2011 8:25 AM GMT
    Well, to give a little background:

    I came out in April, and started dating my 100% black boyfriend 2 weeks later. And shortly after that (4 weeks) we had sex the first time. And it was great at all but very scary. The closest thing I ever had up my ass was my finger and that was a good 3 years ago. When he started, he told me to breath. This helped a lot. By breathing into the muscles that are in pain, it will cause them to relax and that will make it less painful. So when you do decide to have sex with him, don't get nervous and muscle it all up. Simply breath and when he shoves it in there, breath into the muscles that are hurting.

    That's what I did and I took it like a champ...al 8 inches.

    Hope this helps.
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    Oct 25, 2011 5:30 PM GMT
    Wow! Great tips guys! I really appreciate it. We will definitely be taking it slow and be using a lot of lubes. A "friend" of mine also suggested Poppers. He said it isn't a drug and will relax me. I will have to do some more research on that though. THANKS EVERYONE!
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    Oct 28, 2011 11:23 PM GMT
    First let me say that I have been doing TOP and BOTTOM since I was 10 yrs old,and I will tell you it's going to hurt the first time you are the BOTTOM,,,But I can also say that IF you choose to ride him COWBOY you can control the amount of penetration and how the penetration is,,All in All it should be an enjoyable time for all,,SO ENJOY.icon_biggrin.gif