RSVP - Always A Maybe

  • Kjonyou

    Posts: 93

    Oct 24, 2011 11:57 PM GMT
    90 percent of my friends are cool and know how to respond to an ivite with either a yes, no, busy or maybe.

    Normally I dont care how you respond as long as I get a response you actually mean. Lately, I am getting really annoyed with 2 friends that are alwasy Maybe. I'ts more like yes, yes invite me, never leave me out or I will be offended. But then the day of a party, event, dinner, movie I get the excuses. Usually something came up, so I might be there late and then they dont show up at all.

    One friend has not been to my house in the two years that I have known him. And complains I have only invited him over a few times. The other friend gets upset if I have a few people over without him, but every single time I invite him it's alwasy yes but I might have to cancle.

    How do you guys usually handle friends like that. It's starting to bug me that is alwasy a 50/50 crap shoot if they are going to show up and yet get all bent out of shape if they are not part of the crowd. Making it really hard when planning things like dinner reservations, or how many people can fit in a car to go somewhere as a group.
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    Oct 25, 2011 12:23 AM GMT
    So there is no question.

    However, I think I know a few people like that. Actually i'm one of the 'maybe' people. I always say maybe, but really it means a definite no I'm not going and have no intentions. I also don't hold anything against someone for doing something without me. I have much acceptance today for the things I can and cannot do.

    As far as asking people for definite plans etc... I trust that I am not perfect, and I emphasize no expectations.
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    Oct 25, 2011 2:56 AM GMT
    What they say doesn't matter if they never follow through.

    Just stop inviting them. If they ask why or complain, say that since they never come you just stopped thinking about inviting them.

    Or, I suppose, keep inviting them but stop giving a shit about their response either way
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    Oct 25, 2011 4:04 AM GMT
    I extremely hate those who you ask if they wanna do something, and their responses are maybe, let me see if I'm not busy.

    Well hello, you're disinvited. Period !
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    Oct 25, 2011 5:51 AM GMT
    I understand life happens and plans need to be changed on occasion, but when it becomes their second career to be habitual non-responders or no-shows, I simply write them off when making plans in the future.

    They get upset? Tough. I remind them that they faltered on 98.5% of the other other invites. If they don't like or agree with that rationale, not my problem. If they can't be bothered to be decisive in their RSVP, I can't be bothered to make the effort to extend an invite that only serves to feed their need to feel popular.
  • Kjonyou

    Posts: 93

    Oct 28, 2011 3:44 AM GMT
    I think you hit on something about feeding thier need for attention. I never really thought about it that way. But one of these guys is alwasy the center of attention in a group. He's very funny at times and alwasy comments about his own pictures in every group shot.

    The other one is not my type, but is good looking for his age. I think most of his life people have let him get away with that kind of behavoir so he sees it as normal. Basiclly, he just wants the option to decide the day of any event what mood he is in weather he wants to go or not.

    So one is very out going and the other is very reserve but both seem to need attention all the time. Both see the ivite about them even if its say someones birthday or wedding.