LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS. YAY OR NAY?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 25, 2011 10:48 PM GMT
    Do they work? Or are they a dead end?
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 25, 2011 10:50 PM GMT
    wonofakind saidDo they work? Or are they a dead end?


    With enough actual physical contact, they can work great. However, when someone is thousands of miles away and you can only see them for 10 days a year...it's very hard. icon_confused.gif
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    Oct 25, 2011 10:51 PM GMT
    unless you can see each other at least weekly - it won't work for long.
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Oct 25, 2011 10:55 PM GMT
    malefeet said
    wonofakind saidDo they work? Or are they a dead end?


    With enough actual physical contact, they can work great. However, when someone is thousands of miles away and you can only see them for 10 days a year...it's very hard. icon_confused.gif


    Ehm. 3051 miles to be exact, and he'll be here for 9 days.

    ...

    icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 26, 2011 2:07 AM GMT
    It does for some. Not everyone though it just depends really
  • HndsmKansan

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    Oct 26, 2011 2:09 AM GMT
    Definitely a "Yay" from me....

    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 26, 2011 2:13 AM GMT
    A "Yay" for us! Almost 8 months in and it just keeps getting better. We are a 10 hour drive apart and see each other a weekend every four weeks. You never know how things may end up, so do not short yourself and give it a try icon_smile.gif The best decision of my life.
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    Oct 26, 2011 2:14 AM GMT
    For as many people that says it won't work, there are those that say it will. No doubt it's hard, but the right two people can make it work.
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    Oct 26, 2011 2:29 AM GMT
    Weak people have a tough time of it.

    It would work fine for someone who passed the cookie test.
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    Oct 26, 2011 2:34 AM GMT
    dekiruman saidWeak people have a tough time of it.

    It would work fine for someone who passed the cookie test.


    cookie test? what's that?


    I don't think it'll work unless there has already been a steady relationship already, like 2-3 LTR or so, and the two parties involved agree that some time in the future they will reconvene geographically. Long distance right off the bat, like internet BFs, are just not very practical. I mean, how do these people have sex? (I'm not joking btw)
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    Oct 26, 2011 2:49 AM GMT
    Cityaznguy said
    dekiruman saidWeak people have a tough time of it.

    It would work fine for someone who passed the cookie test.


    cookie test? what's that?


    I don't think it'll work unless there has already been a steady relationship already, like 2-3 LTR or so, and the two parties involved agree that some time in the future they will reconvene geographically. Long distance right off the bat, like internet BFs, are just not very practical. I mean, how do these people have sex? (I'm not joking btw)



    you're a psychology professor!

    Maybe it was candy. But they gave it to the kids and told them when they came back they would get more if they didn't eat it and the ones that could delay gratification for the bigger pay off turned out to be like...way more successful later in life.
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    Oct 26, 2011 2:52 AM GMT
    wonofakind saidDo they work? Or are they a dead end?

    nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 26, 2011 2:59 AM GMT
    yes ? i hope lol
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    Oct 26, 2011 2:59 AM GMT
    dekiruman said
    Cityaznguy said
    dekiruman saidWeak people have a tough time of it.
    It would work fine for someone who passed the cookie test.

    cookie test? what's that?
    I don't think it'll work unless there has already been a steady relationship already, like 2-3 LTR or so, and the two parties involved agree that some time in the future they will reconvene geographically. Long distance right off the bat, like internet BFs, are just not very practical. I mean, how do these people have sex? (I'm not joking btw)

    you're a psychology professor!

    Maybe it was candy. But they gave it to the kids and told them when they came back they would get more if they didn't eat it and the ones that could delay gratification for the bigger pay off turned out to be like...way more successful later in life.

    We know all the gay ones failed at that test. Because *sarcasm/generalization on* all gay guys have extremely short attention span, all have GayDHD, and all want instant gratification *sarcasm/generalization off*.

    I still think it's not a good idea if it's right off the bat without actually meeting one another. You could be having a "relationship" with a 70-yo grandma and you don't even know it! But I guess it's nice if one day she croaks and leave you a big fat inheritance. (I kid I kid!)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 26, 2011 3:02 AM GMT
    Cityaznguy said
    dekiruman said
    Cityaznguy said
    dekiruman saidWeak people have a tough time of it.
    It would work fine for someone who passed the cookie test.

    cookie test? what's that?
    I don't think it'll work unless there has already been a steady relationship already, like 2-3 LTR or so, and the two parties involved agree that some time in the future they will reconvene geographically. Long distance right off the bat, like internet BFs, are just not very practical. I mean, how do these people have sex? (I'm not joking btw)

    you're a psychology professor!

    Maybe it was candy. But they gave it to the kids and told them when they came back they would get more if they didn't eat it and the ones that could delay gratification for the bigger pay off turned out to be like...way more successful later in life.

    We know all the gay ones failed at that test. Because *sarcasm/generalization on* all gay guys have extremely short attention span, all have GayDHD, and all want instant gratification *sarcasm/generalization off*.

    I still think it's not a good idea if it's right off the bat without actually meeting one another. You could be having a "relationship" with a 70-yo grandma and you don't even know it! But I guess it's nice if one day she croaks and leave you a big fat inheritance. (I kid I kid!)


    What I've learned is that people in the real world are just as fucked up as they are online, they are just able to hide it better in person. Most of my favorite gays are people I'VE MET ONLINE. (I won't name names. :winkicon_smile.gif
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    Oct 26, 2011 3:23 AM GMT
    dekiruman saidMost of my favorite gays are people I'VE MET ONLINE.


    aww you meant the guys you've met at RJ meetups? Mine too. Great guys. icon_cool.gif
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    Oct 26, 2011 4:07 AM GMT
    Cityaznguy said
    dekiruman saidMost of my favorite gays are people I'VE MET ONLINE.


    aww you meant the guys you've met at RJ meetups? Mine too. Great guys. icon_cool.gif


    you in particular silly.

    Besides there are guys like unfounded7 who are amazing people to talk to. He gives very sound advice, and whether he is a real person or some fabrication dreamed the real man behind the keyboard dreamed up. Knowing the real or unreal person has enhanced my life greatly......that's what I'm trying to say.
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    Oct 26, 2011 4:20 AM GMT
    Invest in a decent pair of web cams.
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    Oct 26, 2011 4:22 AM GMT
    nada.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 26, 2011 4:32 AM GMT
    Me, personally, they're a NAY. I'm one of those people who likes knowing their partner is close to them. I don't believe in the phrase "distance makes the heart grow fonder."
  • Scorpio1113

    Posts: 90

    Oct 26, 2011 4:38 AM GMT
    I said something similar like this in another thread:

    People are quick to say that long distance relationships don't work, but when do close relationships work either? How many couples have you seen split despite being five to ten minutes away from each other?

    Just like with any relationship, LDR's just require dedication, communication, and trust. Of course the further, the more challenging. But I think all relationships face some type of obstacle - regardless the distance. I would just recommend that a long the way that a 'end date' be made - where the distance will shorten.

    I've been in LDR for several months now and it is pretty tough at times. We don't see each other as much as we'd like. It is harder for him (I have longer attention span and greater patience), but so far we're still together. And much sooner than expected (least I hope) the long distance will be a thing of the past...
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    Oct 26, 2011 4:49 AM GMT
    I'd say yay - for sure. We met right here, and carried on for about two years - from opposite coasts. Lots of phone calls - and visits across country. Finally something had to give. We eliminated the distance and moved to the same house in August of 2010.

    icon_cool.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 26, 2011 4:50 AM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidI'd say yay - for sure. We met right here, and carried on for about two years - from opposite coasts. Lots of phone calls - and visits across country. Finally something had to give. We eliminated the distance and moved to the same house in August of 2010.

    icon_cool.gif


    This is wonderful! You have to have the visits in person and physical contact for it to work. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 26, 2011 9:56 AM GMT
    I think it depends on how strong the relationship is and how hard the two parties are willing to work to make it work
  • theone4u1212

    Posts: 28

    Oct 26, 2011 11:57 AM GMT
    I tried and it didn't work.