Empty Life

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    Oct 26, 2011 2:01 AM GMT
    I feel like my life is empty. There's so much in life that I haven't experienced and it really upsets me. Someone asked me what I was gonna be for Halloween this year and it confused me. I told them I haven't dressed up since I was a child. They looked at me like I was crazy, I didn't understand until I thought about it more. Most people my age hang out with friends on halloween and dress up. Some go to parties and get drunk and do normal things young people do. Of course I've never had a sip of alcohol or been to a party ever. I've never had a true friend or a circle of friends. During school I kept to myself and never really talked to anyone. I can't meet people in college because I go online, and I doubt my social life would be any different than high school. Most people don't care to try and get to know a person who doesn't talk much. Especially someone like me that is reserved. I just don't care to talk to certain people, it's draining to me. The problem is that I'm lonely. Imagine having no one to talk to but your parents. It's absolutely awful. When I've selected a few people to try and get to know they only want to hookup with me. I'm not a very interesting person. I can't hold a decent conversation without being awkward and boring. So most guys just end up using me for sex and then ignoring me. I'm alone all the time. I spend 70% of my day in my bedroom online. The only time I leave my house is when I go to work, the gym, the gas station and restaurants. My life has no excitement in it. The most fun I have is renting a movie or downloading a new song. I don't really count having sex as fun because I don't care about the sex, just getting the guy to want me, it never works. I text a few guys but they don't really care to talk to me. I can't make anyone want to be around me. I just really am tired of living this way. Sorry for the long post.
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    Oct 26, 2011 2:19 AM GMT
    I'm sorry that you feel like this....

    The thing is that you need to generate something of interest that you can share with others.

    So you haven't dressed up as a child..Maybe its time for you to wear a costume now...Grab someone you know and ask him/her if they are willing to let you tag along for Halloween shopping...Or even if they have shopped, ask them to come with you and help choose something that you'd want to where.

    Remember its nice to have your personal space and to gather your thoughts. But if you don't step out from the bubble world that you've enclosed yourself in, you'll drive your self insane...

    I know there a bumps and bruises along the way, nonetheless, forge a path in get yourself socially acquainted.
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    Oct 26, 2011 2:21 AM GMT
    Come on man, it`s not that bad. You need to change your outlook in life and you will gain lots of friends. Just an advice, stop putting yourself down and telling everyone that you`re boring or your life is empty. It will be hard to attract friends if you`re like that. Change the description on your profile. It`s essentially the same as what you posted...full of negativity.

    Remember, people want to associate themselves with someone that they feel comfortable with, someone that will make them happy, not someone who will drag them down. If you say that you are ├╣nattractive, uninteresting etc, do you think people will be inclined to hang out with you?
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    Oct 26, 2011 2:23 AM GMT
    Thanks for being easy on me. I don't have any friends to do anything with. I really don't have anyone in my life besides my parents.
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    Oct 26, 2011 3:17 AM GMT
    NOT THIS TROLL AGAIN

    BEGONE WITH YE AND THINE FAILURE!
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    Oct 26, 2011 5:17 AM GMT
    imcaius saidThanks for being easy on me. I don't have any friends to do anything with. I really don't have anyone in my life besides my parents.


    do your parents have friends with adult children your age? You need to get out and live... Your too young and cute to not be popular icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 26, 2011 6:10 AM GMT
    hairyandym said
    imcaius saidThanks for being easy on me. I don't have any friends to do anything with. I really don't have anyone in my life besides my parents.


    do your parents have friends with adult children your age? You need to get out and live... Your too young and cute to not be popular icon_smile.gif


    Don't feed the troll
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    Oct 26, 2011 6:11 AM GMT
    FrostedFlakes said
    hairyandym said
    imcaius saidThanks for being easy on me. I don't have any friends to do anything with. I really don't have anyone in my life besides my parents.


    do your parents have friends with adult children your age? You need to get out and live... Your too young and cute to not be popular icon_smile.gif


    Don't feed the troll


    You are an ass
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    Oct 26, 2011 6:33 AM GMT
    I used to be just like this! Well, back then there wasn't the internet to be able to spend 70% of my time on. Yikes! Get off the internet and go get a hobby doing something outside the house. Try something new that you aren't familiar with, preferrably something that puts yourself in the presence of others. Use this activity to ask questions about it. The rest will come naturally. I don't know you and I say you are a good looking dude and look approachable. You just have to put yourself out there.
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    Oct 26, 2011 6:43 AM GMT
    Numbguy said
    You are an ass


    lrn2internet

    OP is a troll

    Incarnation #3 of this dude

    He's not as prolific as his predecessor ac2394, but soon to be if adequately fed.
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    Oct 26, 2011 7:18 AM GMT
    Alright. I am going to give it to you straight. Stop whining and do something about your life. People aren't going to help you unless you help yourself. Ok, so you are a loner...fine...we all went through that phase. I was like that until I was 17. Growing up...i didn't have a lot of friends...abusive dad...wasn't allowed to play outside...fat...mom traveled a lot for work.

    Despite this, I turned that around and now I am pretty happy with my life. Why am I happy? Because I changed a lot and continue to improve everyday.

    So my suggestion for you...just go out with people. Put yourself out there. You get hurt by guys because YOU FUCKING ASK FOR IT! Stop going after guys that want sex...end of story...jeez...

    You feel like crap about it yet...you do it? Yea...that makes since. It's like you want to stop bleeding yet you keep cutting yourself.

    So take a deep look inside...re-evaluate your life...figure out what you want...and get it.
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    Oct 26, 2011 5:39 PM GMT
    At least you're used for sex - try living the life you do without that connection or any intimacy whatsoever.

    It will get better. Particularly if you move to a more gay, urban area you'll soon generate a lot of interest as part of that year's fresh crop of 22 year olds. Work for a large company and you'll meet lots of other young people, new to the scene and knowing nearly no one, in the same boat to hang out with. Regardless of whether you move since you'll be out amongst more older people who you probably relate better to you'll be able to then expand your circle exponentially.

    Cut your online time by more than half. There's nothing wrong with spending time on RJ to stay abreast of all things gay and perhaps connect with people but I don't spend hours on here, it's just a brief diversion. Pen pals and a free exchange of information are great but life is meant to be lived among the locals. Yes, live interaction is more draining but ultimately far more rewarding. Trouble talking to people because you fear you have nothing in common and you're "faking it?" Guess what - most others are faking it too! Troll? Well, maybe someone in a similar situation to yours can benefit from my advice.
  • okologische

    Posts: 471

    Oct 26, 2011 5:44 PM GMT
    what are you passionate about? start there, get involved with related things, there you will meet people. as far as friends go, its two-way street, you have to open up to get some friends, and do not put yourself down. the only way to stop being socially awkward is to talk to people and open up
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    Oct 26, 2011 5:53 PM GMT
    You need to break away from the "house".icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 26, 2011 5:54 PM GMT
    FrostedFlakes said
    Numbguy said
    You are an ass


    lrn2internet

    OP is a troll

    Incarnation #3 of this dude

    He's not as prolific as his predecessor ac2394, but soon to be if adequately fed.


    Go easy on him FTF, at least he posts something other than the same damn thing over and over again.
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    Oct 26, 2011 5:56 PM GMT
    FrostedFlakes said
    Numbguy said
    You are an ass


    lrn2internet

    OP is a troll

    Incarnation #3 of this dude

    He's not as prolific as his predecessor ac2394, but soon to be if adequately fed.


    Yeah my opinion still stands, you are an ass. Obviously he is lonely and seeking out attention as a response. I understand it can be a bit repetitive, but
    no reason to act malicious.

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    Oct 26, 2011 5:59 PM GMT
    Maybe you should start being happy about the thing's you actually DO have in your life.

    Make a list of them and I'm sure it will help you get some proper prospective on the matter.

    If all else fails, start boozing, you will open up a hell of a lot more at parties ! (responsibly of course icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 26, 2011 6:15 PM GMT
    Here's a few questions that you should examine: Do you truly feel "empty" because you haven't experienced these things? Or do you feel "empty" because you think partying, drinking, and having lots of friends is essential to a fulfilling life?

    There's a subtle difference between the two. If the answer to the former is "yes", then you're probably an extrovert starved for social interaction. If the answer to the latter is "yes", then there's a possibility that you're an introvert giving in to societal pressure to be extroverted.

    From what you describe, it sounds like you're an introvert, and there's nothing wrong with that. Introverts tend to keep a small, yet really close circle of friends, while extroverts prefer large networks of (sometimes not-so-deep) friends.

    The most you can do for yourself is to put yourself in situations where you are more likely to interact with people who might share your interests. And as hard as this sounds (I'm an introvert struggling with this myself), you need to open yourself up to others, at least long enough for you to click with a like-minded individual.
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    Oct 26, 2011 7:22 PM GMT
    Thanks guys. I actually kind of sort of went to a party the other day. I was just supposed to be meeting this guy and his girl friend roommate started inviting people over. I didn't really feel comfortable drinking and they seemed put off by that. I've never had alcohol and I really didn't know how I would get home if I had that. So of course the entire time I awkwardly sat there and said nothing to no one unless they asked me something. Even talking I felt uneasy and trying not to seem lame. I don't really know of any hobbies I'm interested in. I thought about applying for a job at a tanning salon that way I could hang out with girls that work there or something maybe. I'm passionate about technology and graphic art. I also like fashion too. I have a simple life for the most part at home, I'm just very lonely.
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    Oct 26, 2011 7:27 PM GMT
    imcaius saidThanks guys. I actually kind of sort of went to a party the other day. I was just supposed to be meeting this guy and his girl friend roommate started inviting people over. I didn't really feel comfortable drinking and they seemed put off by that. I've never had alcohol and I really didn't know how I would get home if I had that. So of course the entire time I awkwardly sat there and said nothing to no one unless they asked me something. Even talking I felt uneasy and trying not to seem lame. I don't really know of any hobbies I'm interested in. I thought about applying for a job at a tanning salon that way I could hang out with girls that work there or something maybe. I'm passionate about technology and graphic art. I also like fashion too. I have a simple life for the most part at home, I'm just very lonely.


    Yes people feel weird if you arent drinking and they are. Pro-tip, get a cup, fill it with chaser, put no alcohol in it, drink. It lets you look like you are partaking in the action without actually doing it.
  • okologische

    Posts: 471

    Oct 26, 2011 7:28 PM GMT
    well thats good that you have that passion. let it drive you, its what ive done. when times are tough or something let that be your driving force. and its good to try alcohol lol it cant hurt, although drinking and driving is an obvious no no. if you feel awkward about not drinking just say you have to drive and people will be chill with that. alcohol is also good because one tends to open up and become a little more social with a few drinks lol hang in there icon_smile.gif you can do it!
  • okologische

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    Oct 26, 2011 7:28 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    imcaius saidThanks guys. I actually kind of sort of went to a party the other day. I was just supposed to be meeting this guy and his girl friend roommate started inviting people over. I didn't really feel comfortable drinking and they seemed put off by that. I've never had alcohol and I really didn't know how I would get home if I had that. So of course the entire time I awkwardly sat there and said nothing to no one unless they asked me something. Even talking I felt uneasy and trying not to seem lame. I don't really know of any hobbies I'm interested in. I thought about applying for a job at a tanning salon that way I could hang out with girls that work there or something maybe. I'm passionate about technology and graphic art. I also like fashion too. I have a simple life for the most part at home, I'm just very lonely.


    Yes people feel weird if you arent drinking and they are. Pro-tip, get a cup, fill it with chaser, put no alcohol in it, drink. It lets you look like you are partaking in the action without actually doing it.


    yes also a great idea icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 26, 2011 7:31 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    imcaius saidThanks guys. I actually kind of sort of went to a party the other day. I was just supposed to be meeting this guy and his girl friend roommate started inviting people over. I didn't really feel comfortable drinking and they seemed put off by that. I've never had alcohol and I really didn't know how I would get home if I had that. So of course the entire time I awkwardly sat there and said nothing to no one unless they asked me something. Even talking I felt uneasy and trying not to seem lame. I don't really know of any hobbies I'm interested in. I thought about applying for a job at a tanning salon that way I could hang out with girls that work there or something maybe. I'm passionate about technology and graphic art. I also like fashion too. I have a simple life for the most part at home, I'm just very lonely.


    Yes people feel weird if you arent drinking and they are. Pro-tip, get a cup, fill it with chaser, put no alcohol in it, drink. It lets you look like you are partaking in the action without actually doing it.


    Yeah when I left he walked me to my vehicle and kept apologizing that I didn't have a good time. Apparently my discomfort was obvious. He doesn't text me anymore so yeah I blew that friendship.
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    Oct 26, 2011 7:32 PM GMT
    You have to BE the change that you want. It sounds like you need to be thrown into the pool, so to speak, because you are way too timid to get into one yourself. You need to commit to something that will force you to work with people, who you would otherwise pass off and judge as having nothing in common with you. You need to reach out and grow yourself in order to find more common ground with others. Cuz sittin around by yourself and moaning all day isn't going to get you anywhere.

    Consider something perfectly drastic, but productive, like putting your life on hold for a year and joining the Peace Corps. You will be forced to work with perfect strangers and sleep in dormitory situations. That is exactly what you need. Seriously.
  • okologische

    Posts: 471

    Oct 26, 2011 7:33 PM GMT
    its ok!!! you didnt blow it! just txt him and explain the situation its not a big deal! and read your profile, your a vegetarian thats both awesome and interesting! change your profile your not boring! we are always our own biggest critics haha