Question about what a Straight friend asked me....

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    May 27, 2008 12:41 AM GMT
    We were in the car, he was driving.
    Out of the blue he asked me for a blow job.
    Because he girlfriend does not know what she is doing, and he figures I might be better at it...

    I said "NO"....
    Even though I have lusted after him for years..
    I don't want it to effect our friend ship..
    Could he be reaching out that he might be curious and willing to try it???
    Or is it just a horny dude wanting to get off????

    Help I am so freaked out...
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    May 27, 2008 12:45 AM GMT
    I've meet some straight dudes that just want to get off, but I never give into their wishes.

    He might or might not be curious. Has he said or done something else to indicate he is gay?
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    May 27, 2008 12:55 AM GMT
    metropolitan saidI've meet some straight dudes that just want to get off, but I never give into their wishes.

    He might or might not be curious. Has he said or done something else to indicate he is gay?


    When ever he gets one of those e-mail about who his soul mate is.
    He claims my name always comes up...
    He climbs into bed with me, behind me and cuddles..
    Saying he is cold or just to wake me up...
    Always joking about how I am his better half...
    Will jump on top of me on the couch and lay on top of me and just stare into my eyes..Saying he is bored...
    Watches me shower and change my clothes..
    Also has something to talk about when I doing that, that for some reason can not wait till I am done..
    He left his wife the day after I left mine, so we could be roommates.
    Claims we will also be together, and no Man is going to get in the way..He will kick there ass to keep me...

    Is he or is this this just a straight friend trying not to let me being gay bother him????
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    May 27, 2008 1:06 AM GMT
    I don't know man, so many variables.
    Myself, I woulda been one pissed off dude if I was in your position, because of this assumption: 'You're gay. You suck dick, suck mine.' oh man.. haha. bad thoughts. icon_lol.gif

    I ain't one of those plastic helicopters outside of the drug store that you drop a quarter in a get a ride.

    I'm a blunt person, I would have asked him in an slightly interested, easy going tone: 'Why, are you curious?' Wait for answer, or let him mull on it for a moment, then ask him, 'Or you just looking to get off?'

    Is he blunt/belligerent or does he think on the consequence of what he says? If he is curious, will he tell you you truth? Or does he not want it to effect your friendship as well? Maybe he thinks he is, but after thinking about it wants to keep you as a friend instead of someone who may pursue him. You'll never know.

    Better off to just shoot him and dump him in the river. icon_razz.gif
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    May 27, 2008 1:10 AM GMT
    Ok, after your 2nd post... he sounds pretty gay. I sure as hell don't think a straight guy who is comfortable with a gay roommate would be laying on him or cuddling, because that DOES lead the obvious question of his orientation. Why WOULD he cuddle or lay on you if he didn't enjoy it? Because he sure as hell wouldn't be doing it if it BOTHERED him.

    Never mind shooting him, get drunk and shag him. If you both get drunk it's super easy to disregard anything that happened if it does come to being an issue re your friendship.
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    May 27, 2008 1:13 AM GMT
    A friend in need is a friend indeed...

    One side of me wants to say... Every man deserves a great blowjoy once in a while. But I do see what you're saying about it possibly affecting your friendship. Can you be honest with him about that and just let him know what your fears are.

    A couple straight buddies of mine had a 3 way once with this really hot chick that they met at a bar. During it all, they were all caught up in things and they crossed swoard among other things. The girl egged them on to kiss each other etc., which they did. One of them is ok with things and the other one, 6 months down the road won't say a word to other guy. He's too wierded out. (which tells me that he was probably the one that enjoyed it the most.)


    Giving the guy a blowjoy may cause no issues and may be fun... or it could ruin your entire friendship. And it's probably not worth it. Unless of course, you have the wife watch to make it totally instructional.
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    May 27, 2008 1:15 AM GMT
    ok... I just did what I should have done before and read below your first post.

    You buddy is so gay... And if you love him, just go for it. Or atlease see how far he is willing to go. Like next time you think he may climb in bed with you, be sure that you're naked. See what happens that way.

    Do you love him? Could you be with him?

    Sometime the risk we take for love can totally pay off.
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    May 27, 2008 1:16 AM GMT
    From his listed behavior, he wants to swing with you. Since he has been your friend for years, I think I would have obliged him.
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    May 27, 2008 1:20 AM GMT
    caslon said I think I would have obliged him.


    And that's the truth! Heard it from the milk man, mail man and pizza delivery guy. icon_lol.gif
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    May 27, 2008 1:21 AM GMT
    Yes... I believe that you must help out a brother.
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    May 27, 2008 1:25 AM GMT
    I would not have obliged him, and I would have been upset at him for jeopardizing the friendship. You are right, he thinks you will give him a very good blowjob (he is undoubtedly correct there) but how does that make you feel? I personally would feel used. Tell him to get it from his girlfriend. If she is not very good then maybe she should practice. If she does not like giving blowjobs then maybe he can go without?
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    May 27, 2008 1:41 AM GMT
    Some advice that has worked for me on this issue. Obviously the whole situation is insulting but you can clean this up real fast.

    He asked for a bj?

    Pull the car over and look him dead in the eyes and say...

    You know what? I'm with ya man. I'd like a Blow job as well. Tell ya what ol buddy ol pal of mine. Sure I'll blow you. BUT before these lips even get within 12 inch's of your hog you're going to blow me. See, I'm no ones bitch. If you want a little action you're going to show some action as well.

    After he stammers and stutters a bit then point out how completely insulting his suggestion was and in the future if he wants to get off with you he's going to be giving as much as he gets or drop the fucking subject.


    If you think he's curious then tell him to use a little more class when bringing the subject up. I wouldn't be too concerned about ruining the friendship if you spoke your mind over all this. He sure didn't respect your friendship when he just blurted out his ignorant comments.
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    May 27, 2008 1:57 AM GMT
    ooh... I like that one JT.
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    May 27, 2008 2:00 AM GMT
    Are you friends at all with his girlfriend? If you are, I would tell her that her boyfriend is a cheating asshole. If he is asking you for blowjobs, chances are he is asking other people for sex too.
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    May 27, 2008 2:09 AM GMT
    I know her, I don't like her..
    He could do so much better..
    She is using him for what he can buy her..GOLD DIGGER...
    He cheated on his wife once that I know of..
    You could be right, but I want to believe people can change..
    I don't think he thinks a BJ from me as cheating since I am not a girl..
    Just me helping him out...
    I so think he is curious, but have no idea how to approach it with out risking losing him...
    I have known him for 18 years..I know him better than he knows him self, and he can say the same about me..

    Now the question is...
    Do I risk it?????
    Yes I could see my self with him, I have pictured that over the last 18 years. He is the only person who has always been there for me...
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 27, 2008 2:09 AM GMT
    I'm in total agreement with Mr Tennis on this one

    You'll give him a Blowjob as soon as he's done with yours
    who the hell is this guy to think that just because you're gay that you're just waiting to suck him off?

    icon_confused.gif
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    May 27, 2008 2:59 AM GMT
    take him to a gay bar to see how he reacts.

    like polobutt said, get naked with him on the bed and see what happens. And look him in the eyesicon_wink.gif
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    May 27, 2008 3:38 AM GMT
    Football_lover saidWhen ever he gets one of those e-mail about who his soul mate is.
    He claims my name always comes up...
    He climbs into bed with me, behind me and cuddles..
    Saying he is cold or just to wake me up...
    Always joking about how I am his better half...
    Will jump on top of me on the couch and lay on top of me and just stare into my eyes..Saying he is bored...
    Watches me shower and change my clothes..
    Also has something to talk about when I doing that, that for some reason can not wait till I am done..
    He left his wife the day after I left mine, so we could be roommates.
    Claims we will also be together, and no Man is going to get in the way..He will kick there ass to keep me...

    Is he or is this this just a straight friend trying not to let me being gay bother him????


    WOW, just wow!

    icon_eek.gif He is in love with you.

    edit: I'm jealous... ;)
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    May 27, 2008 11:42 AM GMT
    jsttennis77 saidSome advice that has worked for me on this issue. Obviously the whole situation is insulting but you can clean this up real fast.

    He asked for a bj?

    Pull the car over and look him dead in the eyes and say...

    You know what? I'm with ya man. I'd like a Blow job as well. Tell ya what ol buddy ol pal of mine. Sure I'll blow you. BUT before these lips even get within 12 inch's of your hog you're going to blow me. See, I'm no ones bitch. If you want a little action you're going to show some action as well.

    After he stammers and stutters a bit then point out how completely insulting his suggestion was and in the future if he wants to get off with you he's going to be giving as much as he gets or drop the fucking subject.


    If you think he's curious then tell him to use a little more class when bringing the subject up. I wouldn't be too concerned about ruining the friendship if you spoke your mind over all this. He sure didn't respect your friendship when he just blurted out his ignorant comments.


    That was perfect!
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    May 27, 2008 8:38 PM GMT
    Having a straight friend that I have had a crush on and/or been attracted to, and am really mentally close to, climb into bed with me and talk to me all the time when I'm naked, would seriously fuck with my head.
    I don't have any straight friends that would do this.

    This guy sounds really curious to me at the very least, and he's obviously willing to risk a lot by asking you to blow him (namely, your friendship).

    Sounds like you guys need to have a talk to figure out where you are at with each other. Does he want more? Is he comfortable asking for more? Does he just want to see what it's like? Does he just want to get off in your mouth? Can you and him have sex on the side and it not mean more? To you? To him?

    Depending on what he wants, and how much of a man he is about asking for it, I can see you being pissed off and insulted, or happy and excited. All depends on what you both want.
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    May 27, 2008 8:41 PM GMT
    I guess because I like the sight of my own typing...

    I've got a friend that's straight, that I kind of figured that I could blow if I wanted to. He's always seemed a little bit curious to me, and pretty honest about stuff. No cuddling or anything like that, so it could've been all in my head. But if he had asked, I would have said no and been a bit pissed. I'm not anybody's slut, and for me, it couldn't have just been sex. I had a bit of a crush on him, and know that he's mostly straight, so if he had asked, it would have only been curiosity, and nothing more, for him.

    Of course the other way to look at it could have been that I could have had a hot time with no strings attached, but that's just not my style.
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    May 28, 2008 5:53 AM GMT
    No I wouldn't have agreed if that was me. In fact, I'd be mad as hell about it. He's basically saying that since you're gay, you'd suck any man at hand. And he calls you a friend? I mean... damn. That's objectifying at its worst.

    But then again, he's probably just a really really gruff guy and can't articulate his own feelings well, so he just figured it'd be best to just ask you directly.

    *shrugs*

    Either way, I'd say no and immediately schedule a long heart to heart talk about HIS feelings.

    EDIT: jsttennis' suggestion sounds brilliant! LOL
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    May 28, 2008 6:42 AM GMT
    I would have happily sucked his knob... not.

    What a nonce. I'd have sent him to Judge Judy, she'd sort him out.
  • dhinkansas

    Posts: 764

    May 28, 2008 5:43 PM GMT
    I don't want to sound harsh, and I am saying this based on my own experience. As hard as it seems and will be, find a new friend. I made that mistake and if it doesn't ruin the friendship, it changes it to the point where it's unrecognizeable. True friends really don't put you in a spot like that and it isn't as harmless as it seems. There's zero respect for you or the girlfriend because of the request. Once that line is crossed, the friendship becomes is more about that than anything else. I know it's tempting, fun and exciting because those feelings are there, but it really isn't worth it.
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    May 28, 2008 11:29 PM GMT
    Football_lover said[quote][cite]metropolitan said[/cite]....
    Watches me shower and change my clothes..
    Also has something to talk about when I doing that, that for some reason can not wait till I am done..
    He left his wife the day after I left mine, so we could be roommates.
    Claims we will also be together, and no Man is going to get in the way..He will kick there ass to keep me...


    from this list, id' say he might really be interested in you, sexually. although he kinda want you to be his friend with benefit, he's the only one getting the pleasure. and I don't think you'll appreciate it for long. Hence I'd say no too like you did, but add "only if you kiss me and tell me you love me".