Ask A Married Gay Couple Anything You Want :D

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    Oct 26, 2011 1:17 PM GMT


    Following in the footsteps of our intrepid Greenhopper...
  • HndsmKansan

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    Oct 26, 2011 1:29 PM GMT
    What do you guys do when you fight?
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    Oct 26, 2011 1:37 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidWhat do you guys do when you fight?

    Dig a grave?

    Seriously, I'd be interested in their answer, for my own relationship. When C*** and I fight, not very often, I've learned that silence and separation work best. His fierce Italian temper cannot be mitigated, and you're just throwing gasoline onto the fire.

    Therefore, I let the firestorm burn itself out, which it always does. And I am never calmer than when those around me are becoming hysterical, perhaps my own trait, honed with years of Army service.

    Yet I believe every person and every relationship is different, and we can learn from each other. A good topic, even if perhaps meant as a parody of these current "Ask a ( ____ ) anything" threads.
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    Oct 26, 2011 1:45 PM GMT
    What is the cutest thing one of you has done for the other?
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    Oct 26, 2011 1:50 PM GMT
    Both of us have been working a lot, and our weekends have been filled with obligations. It's been hard to find quality time to spend together, especially since we are usually exhausted when we have any free time (or else it's spent taking care of things we've neglected, like laundry). We've also been a bit crabby with each other since we're both stressed. My question is, do you have any advice for making sure you both get quality time together, despite all of the outside forces conspiring against that?
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    Oct 26, 2011 1:51 PM GMT

    HndsmKansan and Art,

    We play The Masters Of Guilt.

    Our fights are pretty few, and everything is put on hold while we sort out our problem. Everything, even work. It's impossible to stay mad at each other, when we consider what we have and how precious it is.

    Then we play the Masters Of Guilt.

    Like this:

    "I feel terrible about this argument. I was unkind and you deserve better."

    "No. It was me. I was a monster. You shouldn't have to put up with that."

    "No you weren't. I was me that started it. Now I won't sleep for three nights thinking of how I could have just mellowed out instead of ragging at you."

    "Nope nope nope. I'm the guilty one and the jerk."

    "That's not possible. I married a saint. I feel waaaayyy guiltier."

    "But not as guilty as me, the mud on the shoes of your life."

    "Nice try, but I'm so guilty I'm surprised the police haven't shown up."

    "Well, I'm so guilty the City is already making up wanted signs for happiness violations."

    "Do you still love me even though I'm the snot on your sleeve?"

    "Do you still love me even though I'm the stain in your undies?"

    OK by this time we're usually both cracking up.







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    Oct 26, 2011 1:55 PM GMT
    Justtrying saidWhat is the cutest thing one of you has done for the other?


    Bill likes Hershey's kisses. One day I made him a huge pair of cardboard lips, gave it to him and told him it was a Doug's kiss. I really didn't think he'd take it to work in his lunch, but he did.
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    Oct 26, 2011 1:59 PM GMT
    East_Village_Idiot saidBoth of us have been working a lot, and our weekends have been filled with obligations. It's been hard to find quality time to spend together, especially since we are usually exhausted when we have any free time (or else it's spent taking care of things we've neglected, like laundry). We've also been a bit crabby with each other since we're both stressed. My question is, do you have any advice for making sure you both get quality time together, despite all of the outside forces conspiring against that?



    You hit on a huge thing. We often tell people that ask why we spend so much time together that Life does enough conspiring to keep us apart without us having to contrive apartness.

    What do we do? We tend to do all those separating things together. Bill has to go to the office? Sometimes I'll go with him, hang out with some of his co-workers, do some shopping etc. Laundry is best done together and the techniques thereof fought over, lol!
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Oct 26, 2011 2:45 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    HndsmKansan and Art,

    We play The Masters Of Guilt.

    Our fights are pretty few, and everything is put on hold while we sort out our problem. Everything, even work. It's impossible to stay mad at each other, when we consider what we have and how precious it is.

    Then we play the Masters Of Guilt.

    Like this:

    "I feel terrible about this argument. I was unkind and you deserve better."

    "No. It was me. I was a monster. You shouldn't have to put up with that."

    "No you weren't. I was me that started it. Now I won't sleep for three nights thinking of how I could have just mellowed out instead of ragging at you."

    "Nope nope nope. I'm the guilty one and the jerk."

    "That's not possible. I married a saint. I feel waaaayyy guiltier."

    "But not as guilty as me, the mud on the shoes of your life."

    "Nice try, but I'm so guilty I'm surprised the police haven't shown up."

    "Well, I'm so guilty the City is already making up wanted signs for happiness violations."

    "Do you still love me even though I'm the snot on your sleeve?"

    "Do you still love me even though I'm the stain in your undies?"

    OK by this time we're usually both cracking up.



    Hahahahaha. Wow, that was funny !

    Since I met both of you guys, I can really picture the scene almost exactly in my head, with the banana tree in the background ;P
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    Oct 26, 2011 3:11 PM GMT
    How do you guys deal with the temptation of other guys?

    Related to previous question, how do you guys deal with doubts in your relationship if and when it occurs?
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    Oct 26, 2011 3:20 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    HndsmKansan and Art,

    We play The Masters Of Guilt.

    Not quite us. I think we play, if we play anything at all, the Masters of Ignorance. We pretend it never happened, and let it fade into dim memory.

    And if it surfaces again in conversation, we each assume equal blame. Pointing fingers are like daggers. Better in a relationship to accept blame than to assign it.

    Which is what I think you guys try to do. But for us it is without the onus of one-sided guilt. Rather, fault is equally shared. A subtle distinction, perhaps, even a rationalization, but it's a formula that works for us. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 26, 2011 3:22 PM GMT
    Torch saidHow do you guys deal with the temptation of other guys?

    Related to previous question, how do you guys deal with doubts in your relationship if and when it occurs?



    Doubts? Hasn't happened, as we were both in a couple of pretty crappy relationships prior to meeting and have always known how fortunate we are to have met.

    As for temptation, that's a non-event as well, for the same reason that we seldom fight. We're very aware, sometimes painfully so (especially at this stage of life where there is so much mortality around us), how precious and fleeting what we have (each other) is.

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    Oct 26, 2011 3:24 PM GMT
    How often do you have sex? Has the dynamics changed over the years?
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    Oct 26, 2011 3:27 PM GMT
    Does the sex stop when you get married?
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    Oct 26, 2011 3:27 PM GMT
    Which one of you has the biggest dick?
    Do you have pics to prove it?
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    Oct 26, 2011 3:32 PM GMT
    Where's the Beef?
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    Oct 26, 2011 3:34 PM GMT
    TerraFirma saidHow often do you have sex? Has the dynamics changed over the years?



    Yes, it has. Sometimes weeks can go by and other times we're like crazed rabbits. We discovered the joys of cruising each other in public, and yes, picking each other up. It will never cease to amaze me that just a look, in a certain way, with a certain grin, can instantly boner-ize me or Bill, lol!

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    Oct 26, 2011 3:37 PM GMT
    Montague saidDoes the sex stop when you get married?



    rofl, NO! In fact, the day we got married, after 20 years, we were rather ahem, busy. Sore for days afterwards, and that's all I'm willing to share.

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    Oct 26, 2011 3:39 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidWhich one of you has the biggest dick?
    Do you have pics to prove it?



    Oh gosh, we've never measured them!
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    Oct 26, 2011 4:49 PM GMT
    This thread makes me smile! icon_biggrin.gif

    Here is my question - when did you realize you loved each other? Was it after a specific event or something you realized gradually? How long after you knew each other?
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    Oct 26, 2011 4:52 PM GMT
    Did you get to meet the heterosexual couple whose marriage you destroyed when you got married?
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    Oct 26, 2011 9:20 PM GMT
    Lol thanks guys.. I think we started a large trend icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 26, 2011 9:28 PM GMT
    Do you have any friends in an OPEN relationship?
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    Oct 27, 2011 12:26 AM GMT
    Art_Deco saidWhen C*** and I fight, not very often, I've learned that silence and separation work best.
    Carl?
    Curt?
    Chad?
    Cory?
    Clit?
    Cunt?
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    Oct 27, 2011 1:16 AM GMT
    sashaman saidThis thread makes me smile! icon_biggrin.gif

    Here is my question - when did you realize you loved each other? Was it after a specific event or something you realized gradually? How long after you knew each other?

    Bill says he knew in an hour. It took me a few days.

    -Doug