An awkward situation

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 26, 2011 2:31 PM GMT
    I've been dating this guy for about 5 months now. He mentioned that he stays in contact with some of his ex's which is fine with me i guess. theres just one problem , he's known this guy for about 4-5 years from europe and they still keep in contact every so often. last january, this was way before i met him he went to europe to visit him. I think thats kinda big. he told me they were lovers but now they're just friends. I believe he wants to see him again , and I don't feel comfortable with that. I just have this feeling they will have sex and i'm not okay with that. What should I do?
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    Oct 26, 2011 2:44 PM GMT
    Let'm have sex and be glad he's being honest with you. That's rare.
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Oct 26, 2011 4:05 PM GMT
    Nothing. It's not your issue at all.

    Let it go.


    jpeter38 saidI've been dating this guy for about 5 months now. He mentioned that he stays in contact with some of his ex's which is fine with me i guess. theres just one problem , he's known this guy for about 4-5 years from europe and they still keep in contact every so often. last january, this was way before i met him he went to europe to visit him. I think thats kinda big. he told me they were lovers but now they're just friends. I believe he wants to see him again , and I don't feel comfortable with that. I just have this feeling they will have sex and i'm not okay with that. What should I do?
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    Oct 26, 2011 5:13 PM GMT
    what do you mean it's not my issue at all. I never agreed to having sex with others when we are dating. we both agreed it would be monogamous.
  • fitdude62

    Posts: 294

    Oct 26, 2011 5:24 PM GMT
    jpeter38 saidwhat do you mean it's not my issue at all. I never agreed to having sex with others when we are dating. we both agreed it would be monogamous.


    Then get out now before it goes further.

    Peace
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    Oct 26, 2011 5:37 PM GMT
    fitdude62 said
    jpeter38 saidwhat do you mean it's not my issue at all. I never agreed to having sex with others when we are dating. we both agreed it would be monogamous.


    Then get out now before it goes further.

    Peace


    … or give him the benefit of the doubt, don't dump him arbitrarily, and try to open an honest dialogue about how you're feeling.

    One of my best friends in the world is an ex of mine who lives in New York. I absolutely plan on visiting him, and we've both talked about going to Europe together at some point. I'm in a monogamous relationship. I have no plans of ever sleeping with my ex again, but I would understand the concerns of my boyfriend if he had any.

    You have to decide if you feel this way because you don't trust him or if you're insecure. If you don't trust him, that's a huge problem and you need to reevaluate the relationship. If you're just insecure, then you need to let him know how you feel, but try to be conscious of the fact that your jealousy is YOUR issue. Not his.
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    Oct 27, 2011 8:45 AM GMT
    FierceEyes said
    fitdude62 said
    jpeter38 saidwhat do you mean it's not my issue at all. I never agreed to having sex with others when we are dating. we both agreed it would be monogamous.


    Then get out now before it goes further.

    Peace


    … or give him the benefit of the doubt, don't dump him arbitrarily, and try to open an honest dialogue about how you're feeling.

    One of my best friends in the world is an ex of mine who lives in New York. I absolutely plan on visiting him, and we've both talked about going to Europe together at some point. I'm in a monogamous relationship. I have no plans of ever sleeping with my ex again, but I would understand the concerns of my boyfriend if he had any.

    You have to decide if you feel this way because you don't trust him or if you're insecure. If you don't trust him, that's a huge problem and you need to reevaluate the relationship. If you're just insecure, then you need to let him know how you feel, but try to be conscious of the fact that your jealousy is YOUR issue. Not his.


    Agreed. Open communication is key. Of course to things that may be sensitive (either to you or him) a good amount of grace helps make communicating easier.

    Hope everything turns out okay.
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    Oct 27, 2011 8:49 AM GMT
    FierceEyes said
    fitdude62 said
    jpeter38 saidwhat do you mean it's not my issue at all. I never agreed to having sex with others when we are dating. we both agreed it would be monogamous.


    Then get out now before it goes further.

    Peace


    … or give him the benefit of the doubt, don't dump him arbitrarily, and try to open an honest dialogue about how you're feeling.

    One of my best friends in the world is an ex of mine who lives in New York. I absolutely plan on visiting him, and we've both talked about going to Europe together at some point. I'm in a monogamous relationship. I have no plans of ever sleeping with my ex again, but I would understand the concerns of my boyfriend if he had any.

    You have to decide if you feel this way because you don't trust him or if you're insecure. If you don't trust him, that's a huge problem and you need to reevaluate the relationship. If you're just insecure, then you need to let him know how you feel, but try to be conscious of the fact that your jealousy is YOUR issue. Not his.


    Agree 100%
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2011 9:32 AM GMT
    My Ex's are my family. I was in a relationship with one for 9 years and that is too much of my life to walk away from or to walk away from someone that I shared that much time with.

    We work on keeping a good friendship going.....thats just how it is!