The fat kid mentality

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2011 3:41 PM GMT
    I have a question for guys and hopefully you guys can give me some useful recommendations or advice.

    I used to be fat, like pretty fat. At once I was about 190lbs and probably 28-30% bodyfat. I would post pictures but I don't want you guys to hurl. Anyways, I have then since lost 30-35 lbs and dropped my bodyfat to what you see in my profile pictures, which is like about a couple months ago and still pretty much look like that today. I did this over about two years of watching my diet and a bunch of trial-n-error in working out routine and whatnot.

    The thing is, I am not 100% comfortable in this skin. I still kinda feel like a fat kid inside. Is there a way to overcome that, because I have been fat pretty much all my life and now I feel like I am living in a different body rather than my own, and I feel like I am not in tune with my body. So I would appreciate your inputs, for those of you who has gone through it. How did you come in tune with your new body.

    Thanks a bunch! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2011 4:09 PM GMT
    I dropped a ton of weight and still feel fat...I have no advice really but am curious of the replies. I still need to drop 15 to 20 more. You look awesome though man. I would never have thought you were ever overweight.....your skin certainly bounced back nicely ;).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2011 4:13 PM GMT
    I still think you are fat, drop another 20lbs then come back and talk icon_smile.gif
  • KissTheSky

    Posts: 1980

    Oct 27, 2011 4:18 PM GMT
    Congrats on the weight loss! Sounds like you did it the right way by going slow.
    You look great! icon_biggrin.gif
    I'm no expert but I think you'll feel more comfortable in your new buff bod as time passes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2011 4:22 PM GMT
    I used to b fat in middle school and I dropped the weight to "normal" 20% ish bodyfat by high school.

    I still felt fat tho, and not until college did that really wear off.

    Give it time, the more people tell u how good u look and how ur not fat and the more u r able to keep up with athletes and skinny people, u will eventually grow out of it. A support system of friends n family and visually seeing the difference in your body will eventually sink in.

    Sometimes I still feel heavy, but I know I'm being crazy and that I'm at least in decent shape.


    Also sex with a muscle stud helps ; )

    Hope that helps.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2011 4:23 PM GMT
    I remember being on the swim team and I was made fun of for my "torpedo tits" in middle school. Kids r mean lol
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    Oct 27, 2011 4:24 PM GMT
    Chainers saidI still think you are fat, drop another 20lbs then come back and talk icon_smile.gif

    Oh don't you worry about it. I'm gonna try to get my bodyfat down to the single digits. I know there's still plenty of work to be done.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2011 4:29 PM GMT
    @ wolvie.

    Well, the important thing is that you're in great shape now! ;-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2011 4:43 PM GMT
    Ugh I feel you man... I used to be obese. Like seriously obese... I weighed 100 lbs more than I do right now.

    It takes time to get out of the fat kid mentality. Especially if you were fat all your life. My mom actually just asked me recently, "So what weight do you want to be that will make you happy?" and I told her, "There isn't a number for that. I'm not like you or dad that I can look back and say 'I was happy at that weight' because I was always fat." It takes time and positive reinforcement to re-align your thinking away from "I'm fat" and towards something healthy. That doubt dies little by little... but it only dies little by little haha.

    Oh, and yeah: sex with muscle studs helps.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Oct 27, 2011 4:53 PM GMT
    Try Dove Men's Care, and to be comfotable in your own skin.
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    Oct 27, 2011 5:07 PM GMT

    @Larkin

    icon_eek.gif
    you used to be 100lbs heavier? Wow I am so happy for you! Congrats You must be proud icon_biggrin.gif

    @Larkin & Wolvie

    Actually musclegods are not my type. Hot gay geeks are icon_biggrin.gif
    Smart mind turns me on more than muscles. Although muscleicon_wink.gifs help
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    Oct 27, 2011 5:28 PM GMT
    Cityaznguy said
    @Larkin

    icon_eek.gif
    you used to be 100lbs heavier? Wow I am so happy for you! Congrats You must be proud icon_biggrin.gif

    @Larkin & Wolvie

    Actually musclegods are not my type. Hot gay geeks are icon_biggrin.gif
    Smart mind turns me on more than muscles. Although muscleicon_wink.gifs help


    Realjock has shown me that there are guys with both qualities.

    As Freddy mercury once said: I want it all, i want it all and I want it now.
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    Oct 27, 2011 5:30 PM GMT
    Larkin_PLR said

    Oh, and yeah: sex with muscle studs helps.


    HAHA this ^
  • jimjock

    Posts: 278

    Oct 27, 2011 5:42 PM GMT


    As an FFP (former fat person) we have to "share and compare" with other RealJocks that have walked this path. The e-locker room is cathartic. Having been the heavy, invisible, 'hide my body' guy I know what you mean.

    It is like hearing that you have a great cock from a woman. How would she really know? You hear it from another man and you feel totally different. Poor analogy but you get my point. Talk with other FFP's and satisfy that male bonding that you'd never experienced at an earlier age.

    "If you always do what you have always done then you will always get what you have always got." ~ A. Robbins


    jimjock7
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2011 5:45 PM GMT
    This is horrible to say but you I can usually guess with a 90% success rate whether a hot guy has ever been fat before. There are a lot of guys on RJ who i suspect used to be chubby but I've never said it to them.

    I think I want to marry a guy who was fat at some point in his life. They tend to be more well developed people, especially if they go from being fat to being above average attractive. They never lose their perspective or get lost in their attractiveness or try to coast through life or relationships on it.

    They also tend to treat people with respect even if they don't find them attractive. Most of my closest gay friends used to be fat.

    I have never admitted this before, because it was never relevant/never came up, but if I meet a guy and find out that he used to be fat, it tends to make me more attracted to him.

    It makes me think that if I marry him or something, he has spent a portion of his life developing something beyond the way he looks simply as a means of surviving being chubby. So maybe he's funnier, or deeper, or more empathetic than he would have otherwise been if he had not been fat.

    If I meet a smoking hot guy with a perfect personality, It has been my experience that he was usually fat at some point in his life. I guess being fat for a while makes you a better person. icon_eek.gif

    You're a fantastic person Eric. In fact, I think my top 5 favorite people on RJ all used to be fat.
  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Oct 27, 2011 5:48 PM GMT
    Keep taking pictures and viewing your body from other angles and in different outfits. I am kind of the reverse (used to be skinnyfat) but I will sometimes see things, such as shirts fitting a bit more nicely around my pectorals, or my hands not catching on soft fat as I stand with my hand on my hip (happens a lot at work).

    In fact, take a couple minutes to just look in the mirror, naked, and look at your body, and objectively see what is good. Sometimes I'm surprised at how much progress and change I have made in the most innocuous areas - the angle of my mandible, my lats have gotten more visible, etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2011 5:52 PM GMT
    dancedancekj saidKeep taking pictures and viewing your body from other angles and in different outfits. I am kind of the reverse (used to be skinnyfat) but I will sometimes see things, such as shirts fitting a bit more nicely around my pectorals, or my hands not catching on soft fat as I stand with my hand on my hip (happens a lot at work).

    In fact, take a couple minutes to just look in the mirror, naked, and look at your body, and objectively see what is good. Sometimes I'm surprised at how much progress and change I have made in the most innocuous areas - the angle of my mandible, my lats have gotten more visible, etc.



    while I hide on the other side of the mirror


    icon_cool.gifcreeper shades


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    Oct 27, 2011 5:57 PM GMT
    Cityaznguy said
    @Larkin

    icon_eek.gif
    you used to be 100lbs heavier? Wow I am so happy for you! Congrats You must be proud icon_biggrin.gif


    Haha, I sometimes forget how big I used to be... And even people who knew me at the time don't believe I was that fat.

    This is the best comparison I have. This isn't even me at my biggest (maybe I subconsciously stopped letting my picture be taken when I was a whale... hah):

    comparison.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2011 6:16 PM GMT
    I'm down more than 50lbs and I'm not satisfied. But... I tend to slack off when I am satisfied and you know what happens then...


    It is required that I suggest this Ryan Reynolds movie to you if you haven't seen it yet.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0433400/

    MV5BMjA0Mzg2NjUzMl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNDg2

    It's replaced "A Christmas Story" as the movie to watch at family gatherings.
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    Oct 27, 2011 6:50 PM GMT
    Larkin_PLR said
    Cityaznguy said
    @Larkin

    icon_eek.gif
    you used to be 100lbs heavier? Wow I am so happy for you! Congrats You must be proud icon_biggrin.gif


    Haha, I sometimes forget how big I used to be... And even people who knew me at the time don't believe I was that fat.

    This is the best comparison I have. This isn't even me at my biggest (maybe I subconsciously stopped letting my picture be taken when I was a whale... hah):

    [Amazing body transformation ]

    icon_eek.gif
    <3 icon_biggrin.gif
    You seem so much happier in the after pic. But the b4 pic was also cute and snuggley
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2011 7:11 PM GMT
    I definitely suffer from this mentality. I'm scarred from having been teased so much when I was little about being fat. I lost a bunch, no doubt I look far better than I used to, I still feel incredibly self-conscious about it. But it also goes back to the sheer fact that I'm just a really self-aware person.

    What I fret about the most is that, because I gained weight so rapidly in the past, I've likely undergone fat cell hyperplasia in addition to fat cell hypertrophy. When new fat cells are created, they are permanent and don't go away (unless you get surgery), no matter how much weight you lose. They atrophy and shrink, but they persist indefinitely. So if good habits are not constantly reinforced, they'll balloon up again super easy. So for us former fatties, we suffer this problem that people who've never been fat before don't have.

    It figures into my hesitation to gain muscle. The process inevitably includes fat gain to some degree, which makes me worry a lot that I'll balloon up, even if I try eat as clean as I possibly can. Obviously, the cleanest diet will minimize fat gain, but this is territory I'm venturing into I've never crossed before. The thought of gaining any fat on top of what I have now makes me really nervous. I hear contradicting opinions; some say gain lean mass first, then cut fat. Others say continue cutting fat for now, then gain lean mass.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2011 7:14 PM GMT
    I really understand the not feeling like this is my body anymore.

    Even just knowing how much space I really take up of where my limbs are I have not fully assimiliated.

    (But not for the same reason - it is not that I have less weight but I cannot feel my location in space (proprioception)


    If you have good balance, try taking a beginners dance class - maybe ballroom dance. icon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2011 7:15 PM GMT
    I understand this mentality... 300%..... I lost almost 30% of my body weight over the last three years (68 lbs I lost to be exact), and I still feel really self-conscious. The fat kid is definitely still trapped within in my body. One day I'll post my before and after pics...
  • Daknee

    Posts: 67

    Oct 27, 2011 7:39 PM GMT
    I suggest seeing a hypnotherapist to help you change that inner perception of yourself. Hypnosis, provided it is something you want, can help remove old unwanted perceptions in you life. This include anyting not just body percption and image.
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    Oct 27, 2011 8:04 PM GMT
    Larkin_PLR said
    Cityaznguy said
    @Larkin

    icon_eek.gif
    you used to be 100lbs heavier? Wow I am so happy for you! Congrats You must be proud icon_biggrin.gif


    Haha, I sometimes forget how big I used to be... And even people who knew me at the time don't believe I was that fat.

    This is the best comparison I have. This isn't even me at my biggest (maybe I subconsciously stopped letting my picture be taken when I was a whale... hah):

    comparison.jpg


    I have to agree you look cute and snuggly in before, but no way did you look like you were 325 lbs....you look like someone who needed to melt 25 lbs off to become a muscular beast like you are today icon_smile.gif.