Steel1 saidDoes anyone else think that an open relationship is basically saying "You can cheat on me as long as I know about it."?
While there may be some who feel that way, personally no I don't concur. The generally accepted definition of "cheating" is doing things underhandedly. If people have an agreement that is not "cheating". See for example the definition below *
I am curious why some guys, who would allow their partner to go to a movie, a dinner, a party, etc with a friend (gay, straight or otherwise) and not have an issue with it, have such strong reactions about their partner doing anything physical or sexual with anyone else?
I've heard the arguments that "it's different, it's too intimate"... While personally, I happen to think that "breaking bread" with someone (i.e. supping or having a multi-course meal) can be extremely "intimate" as well. (See below **
) (Incidentally, if you have a partner who has a problem with you going with a friend to a movie which he doesn't want to watch; or out for dinner with a friend while he is at a business meeting; or to a club when your friend wants to go dance and your partner isn't up for it then you've likely got control issues or a power struggle in your relationship which is a differnet, and bigger, problem altogether).
Why do some people buy into our cultural dictates that sex is sacrosanct. Remember that it wasn't that long ago that our cultural norms (in the west) dictated that sex was not to occur before marriage and since, in many jurisdictions, gay people cannot be married that you quite simply should abstain from sex for life (for example, this is still the basic tenet of the Catholic Church position on homosexuality today).
So why buy into that cultural dictate?
Granted each person/partner must follow their own path and do what is right for them. So for those of you who say "It isn't for me but if other people want that in their relationship that's their choice" you clealy understand that each person has to walk their own path in life.
On the other hand for those of you who say "It isn't for me and neither should it be for anyone else" do you really think that everyone in the world should follow your moral code of life? I take the position that for everyone: your morals should only "control" your life; not anyone elses.
If you think your morals are the only right ones what do you say to people whose morals, quite honestly, say that gay people should be executed? Why shouldn't their morals have any more justification than yours? Of course they shouldn't. A moral compass should be used to gauge ones own course in life not be used to dictate those believes to or upon others.*
1. To deceive by trickery; swindle: cheated customers by overcharging them for purchases.
2. To deprive by trickery; defraud: cheated them of their land.
3. To mislead; fool: illusions that cheat the eye...
1. Marked by close acquaintance, association, or familiarity.
2. Relating to or indicative of one's deepest nature: intimate prayers.
3. Essential; innermost: the intimate structure of matter...