De Nile is not just a river in Africa

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    Oct 29, 2011 7:30 PM GMT
    Why would a guy who's sending vibes like he's attracted to another guy refuse to admit the possibility that he is not 100% straight?

    I'd expect this sort of things from homophobic guys, but more and more lately I've been noticing it in intelligent, self-aware guys who are gay-friendly enough to state that human sexuality is fluid. But for some reason, they don't make room for the attraction that draws them to other guys -- attraction that, in 1 or 2 cases, led to French kissing; in another instance, "bromance".

    What gives?
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    Oct 29, 2011 7:35 PM GMT
    It's easier to live as a "gay friendly" straight guy than live as an actual gay guy. When Christian Chavez came out, Ricky Martin was like "I support him" but the irony was Ricky Martin was still closeted at the time.
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    Oct 29, 2011 7:56 PM GMT
    Stan904 saidIt's easier to live as a "gay friendly" straight guy than live as an actual gay guy. When Christian Chavez came out, Ricky Martin was like "I support him" but the irony was Ricky Martin was still closeted at the time.


    Are you fucking me? People really do that?

    The power of shame -- the closet is a tomb --
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    Oct 30, 2011 1:32 AM GMT
    If they are intelligent and self-aware, then its also likely they can emphatically understand what its like to be gay. They might entertain the idea of a relationship with a man, but in our society actually having sex with a man does make you gay. Maybe they see being locked into that identity when they aren't fully sure.
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    Oct 30, 2011 1:54 AM GMT
    If he's french-kissed you, you kind of already know the answer. Why do you need him to verbalize it? What if that is all that he wants to do? I've learned that you have to meet people where they are. You shouldn't have to tell people every thought you have, especially when you're trying to figure things out for yourself and when you know that the people around you aren't capable of being completely objective. Timing is just as important and sometimes you want more "data" before you make the leap, if there is a leap to be made. What if the kiss is as far as he wants to go for now? Would knowing that be enough for you or do you really want more?
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    Oct 30, 2011 4:26 AM GMT
    Brownale saidIf he's french-kissed you, you kind of already know the answer. Why do you need him to verbalize it? What if that is all that he wants to do? I've learned that you have to meet people where they are. You shouldn't have to tell people every thought you have, especially when you're trying to figure things out for yourself and when you know that the people around you aren't capable of being completely objective. Timing is just as important and sometimes you want more "data" before you make the leap, if there is a leap to be made. What if the kiss is as far as he wants to go for now? Would knowing that be enough for you or do you really want more?


    I am not the guy he kissed. And it's fine if he doesn't want to share himself with me, but his wife-to-be might need to know for fairness' sake