yep

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    Oct 29, 2011 8:04 PM GMT
    brnt
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    Oct 29, 2011 9:43 PM GMT
    Wait how old is this guy anyway? He sounds really immature and confused to me. icon_confused.gif

    If he doesn't appreciate you and the things you do for him, then just forget him. He's not worth your time. From everything I just read here, you really made a lot of sense, and this guy sounds really messed up in the head, considering how he contradicted himself several times.

    Don't worry, you'll find someone who likes you for you.
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    Oct 29, 2011 9:52 PM GMT
    vbalways saidWe're both the same age - 23. And yeah I asked my friends for advice, and they all said the same thing you did. But I want to TRY to give him the benefit of the doubt if I can, but I don't think I can this time.


    I would've given him the benefit of the doubt until he came up with those obviously obviously untrue excuses as to why.

    Seriously, who does that? And seriously... why be friends with someone who treats others like that? icon_sad.gif
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    Oct 29, 2011 11:32 PM GMT
    He's just not that into you?

    Did somebody already say that? Possibly. I couldn't be arsed to read what anyone wrote.

    But they will, my friend. Believe me.
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    Oct 29, 2011 11:47 PM GMT
    It's great being in my 30's, just sayin. All the "tell me why?" "what did i do?" "what happened?" posts on here recenlty just make me feel bad for the 20 year old gays. I was still messing with girls in my 20's and while they are high maintenance, they are loyal and don't fuggin send you into tailspins like it seems that young gay relationships do.

    Maybe my advice is to stay single until 30, focus on your career and being financially independent, and self-sufficient. Once you turn 30, then you'll likely know yourself a little better and won't be jaded by all the awful experiences young gays seem to experience. Sorry you had to go through this man.
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    Oct 30, 2011 12:08 AM GMT
    vbalways said, "It's just really messed up how he left me open like that, then stabbed me in the back for no reason. I really don't get it."

    I think I do. Right here in bold:

    "He said he had family issues, he's going into the work force (he's a senior this year, i'm a junior), and he's simply just mentally unstable for a relationship."


    My Dad and Mom once advised me, if a man tells me he's erm, fucked up, believe him as he's more likely to know than anyone else. Then decide if I want that controlling a relationship.

    I think dear ol' Dad and Mom had a very very valid point.

    -Doug

    PS here's a hug, I think you could use one about now...*HUG*

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    Oct 30, 2011 12:11 AM GMT
    English_Bloke saidHe's just not that into you?
    Did somebody already say that?


    ^^^ THIS
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    Oct 30, 2011 12:27 AM GMT
    The most confusing part is not about how he treated you. One can chalk him up to being a silly fool. Period.

    The confusing part is why you would consider discussion with him again knowing how he treated you in the past. At the end of the day, his words are really inconsequential and empty. They mean nothing. It's all in his actions. He will use his words to keep you where he wants to keep you, and maybe he does have good intentions or maybe he doesn't. Intentions don't add much value to the situation. How he treats you does.

    So what is the best course of action for you? You can try to figure out his behaviour, but chances are the reason you are perplexed by it is because you perceived him to be one way, via his actions, and then other actions made you think he is another way.. so you're asking yourself 'which is it?'

    The answer obviously is.. he is the same person.. someone who is capable for being nice and yet an ass at the same time.

    He really doesn't have to chase or pursue you because he already knows you'll be there for him. You said so yourself in your original message "I'd be there for him"

    I know what's best for you.
    People on here know what's best for you.
    We've been through this.

    In the end what you can do is have some balls, self-respect, and say to yourself, 'in no way am i going to let some douchebag think he can control my emotions and treat me like that'

    the end.
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    Oct 30, 2011 12:29 AM GMT
    this is an easy one. Basically? He's nuts. Not emotionally ready for a relationship, take your pick of any number of reasons but what it comes down to, it wasn't anything you did. Its all on him.
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    Oct 30, 2011 12:32 AM GMT
    From reading your post, I see that he is emotionally immature, unstable personality, has poor impulse control and lacks communication skills.

    Other than that, he sounded like a real catch. icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 30, 2011 12:43 AM GMT
    Hawken said
    In the end what you can do is have some balls, self-respect, and say to yourself, 'in no way am i going to let some douchebag think he can control my emotions and treat me like that'.

    This advice is spot on. Remember you are in control of your own emotions and heart. He only has the power to play you like a toy if you ALLOW him to play you. Why would you give up your power to someone like that, a player? Take your power back, love yourself more, and next time around, there will be a guy who is better for you who is not toying with your feelings.
  • victor8

    Posts: 237

    Oct 30, 2011 3:17 AM GMT
    Roll with it!
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    Oct 30, 2011 3:24 AM GMT
    WAIT a minute right there.

    Considering his behaviour now, don't you think you will live to slap yourself with regret if you actually do get together with him?

    1. He sounds uninterested/like a player
    2. You will have good times, but overall sounds like you won't.
    3. It sounds like it won't last long anyway if he's so indecisive.
    4. It obviously takes a lot on you emotionally!
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    Oct 30, 2011 3:25 AM GMT
    Just ignore him. Sounds like he's just messing around.
  • Import

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    Oct 30, 2011 3:32 AM GMT
    vbalways said

    3.) "You deleted me off Facebook without talking to me first."
    He deleted me off Google Plus, Twitter, and he hid all his shit from me on Facebook without talking to ME first. So this is so illogical.


    LOL, im sorry, but this was funny.

    kids these days, smh

    he deleted me off facebook, so i deleted him off google plus, twitter, xanga, myspace, imeem,
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    Oct 30, 2011 4:36 AM GMT
    It's doubtful that he can give you closure and he probably believes he's tried hard enough to do that already.

    He invited you over cause he still cares about you but he's now realised that you weren't dealing with the break up while he was still around. He's deleted and hid from you, avoided you and given you answers (albeit lies) to your questions. The deal is that he's trying to distance himself from you.

    You want closure? Closure comes from within; not from another. You are the master of your domain. You are the only person who can control how you feel.
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    Oct 30, 2011 8:26 AM GMT
    A relationship involves the energy, time and emotional involvement of two people. No relationship ends with closure for either person.

    Irrespective of that he met with you in an attempt to help you get through this.
    He thought he could be friends but that didn't work and I don't think he wants that anymore.

    He's giving you the hints and they're getting stronger as he feels you're not getting it. He needs to devote his time to his own closure as do you. Even if he is acting like a psycho, try and see it from his perspective.

    You need to make your own closure. He doesn't owe that to you and you don't have a right to expect him to provide it.

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    Oct 30, 2011 9:00 AM GMT
    No worries.

    It's easy to see another perspective when you're independent of the situation and not emotionally involved.

    You need to stop focusing on him and focus on you to get the closure you need.
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    Oct 30, 2011 9:32 AM GMT
    vbalways said
    English_Bloke saidHe's just not that into you?

    Did somebody already say that? Possibly. I couldn't be arsed to read what anyone wrote.

    But they will, my friend. Believe me.


    It's just really messed up how he left me open like that, then stabbed me in the back for no reason. I really don't get it.


    So you have two choices (maybe more but I don't have much time):

    Either forget him or seek revenge.

    You're far better going for the former as it often achieves the latter anyway.
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    Oct 30, 2011 11:42 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    My Dad and Mom once advised me, if a man tells me he's erm, fucked up, believe him as he's more likely to know than anyone else. Then decide if I want that controlling a relationship.




    Yup, I learned that the hard way too...
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Oct 30, 2011 11:49 AM GMT
    vbalways saidOkay so I met this guy in our LGBT meeting at college, he friend requested me on Facebook, we did a dinner and movie thing one night, and he initiated a relationship with me. It was great, and I was so happy. Yeah we had sex a few times... That last night we had sex, he told me he loved me, then the next day he broke up with me. Just like that.

    His reasons sounded half legit at the time. He said he had family issues, he's going into the work force (he's a senior this year, i'm a junior), and he's simply just mentally unstable for a relationship. First of all, I'm going into the work force too, big deal. He has family issues, but why can't we still be friends? He's always hanging out with his friends. I told him if he wanted to talk about anything, or cry, I'd be there for him.

    I was hurt over the breakup, but get this though... he invited me over to see if I was okay. We were on the couch in the lounge together, he snuggled up with me, then he left me open again saying when things calm down and if I'm still up for it, he'll want to go out with me again. But how can I still be up for it if he treats me like he hates me. That's ridiculous.

    He hid all his shit from me on facebook, then I deleted him, and then he blocked me. Then I confronted him about it, and he UNBLOCKED me. His reasons for not wanting to be my friend were completely invalid and he contradicted himself several times!:

    1.) "We don't live in the same area."
    Not true, his building is LITERALLY 10 seconds away from my apartment. I kid you not.

    2.) "We have completely opposite schedules."
    Academically speaking, yes. But I see him hanging out with his friends on the weekend all the freakin time. I even caught him at the halloween dance when he said he wasn't attending.

    3.) "You deleted me off Facebook without talking to me first."
    He deleted me off Google Plus, Twitter, and he hid all his shit from me on Facebook without talking to ME first. So this is so illogical.

    Believe me there are several more stupid reasons, but I won't get into that.

    I don't even know this kid anymore. He's not the person I met. I really want closure in person to help me officially move on, but he won't do it.

    What's his deal?


    His deal? He is a douche!
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    Oct 30, 2011 1:57 PM GMT
    jpBITCHva said
    As Maya Angelou said, "When someone tells you who they are, believe them."


    What if someone tells you they're a good person and they clearly are not? Or is it only when someone says that they're bad news?
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    Oct 30, 2011 2:04 PM GMT
    If all that you say is correct as we are just getting your point of view...he seems to be just another guy who likes to use people.....for his own gain. the problem is not you..its him as he feels he is entitled to things from which he can toss to the side whenever he feels. Your mistake is falling into this mentality of his..whereby you let him do this to you. I suggest you move on. Ignore him completely.
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    Oct 30, 2011 2:30 PM GMT
    NEXT....!