I promise this is the LAST thread I will make about the continuation of the "commitment issue"

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    Oct 29, 2011 8:55 PM GMT
    but blackguy4you has solved the problem I was trying to explain to you guys.

    I need a pet. Simple as that.

    If I take a look at myself, I need to satisfy the following:

    - my need for someone or something to be there for me when I go home every night
    - my need for someone or something to spend quality time on me that I can RELY on

    ... and what is perfect for that?

    A PUPPY. Seriously.

    I realized that I get along with dogs so well and I LOVE spending time with them... so why not get one of my own.

    That way I can always have the emotional and loyal aspect of my life completed.....




    and with that said, I apologize if I came off as being a bitch...as you guys have already known for a while, it's because of that open relationship that I came out of.


    *hugs*
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    Oct 29, 2011 9:33 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidMmmm....that sound like an awesome idea! And a puppy is definitely where you should be looking for unconditional love....I actually think it's a bit unfair and certainly unrealistic to expect that from another human (I hope for it, but it's a lot of pressure to put on someone, lol.)

    What's great is that this would be you fulfilling your own need for love, attention, affection and adoration. Anything you get on top of that with a mate is gonna be gravy --and that's the way it should be (imo). It's just too much pressure to saddle a new guy with all of those needs right away....like putting a sappling in a windstorm, it will get thrashed. But once that sappling grows into a mighty oak, it will be better able to weather any storm.

    My philosophy with a relationship: be a 100% complete individual looking for another 100% complete individual. Then everything you give each other will be a gift. If you go into a relationship acting like I'm 50% and you're 50%...together we'll make a whole, there is such built-in dependancy there that I think one would constantly be hurt and fighting: "you're only putting in 40% today....so I'm only at 90% --I'm incomplete! Because of you!" icon_lol.gif

    It should be a wonderful distraction from what's been on your mind lately. Show pics if you follow through! icon_biggrin.gif


    I KNOW!
    It never even crossed my mind until he brought it up.. and then I realized how much more happy I would be with one.
    It's perfect. I wouldn't even need a bf ever to be quite honest with you.

    I would have the puppy to watch a movie with...
    the puppy to walk with, and feed and take care of..

    and in return he would come into my arms when I'm tired.

    Unconditional love... so fricking awesome.
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    Oct 29, 2011 9:39 PM GMT
    awww a puppy!

    puppy.jpg
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    Oct 29, 2011 9:43 PM GMT
    This is a win.
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    Oct 29, 2011 10:25 PM GMT
    That's why I adopted a dog from a rescue shelter as well. Best decision I ever made.
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    Oct 30, 2011 1:02 AM GMT
    uh, a puppy is not like a boyfriend.

    A puppy is like a child. You have to teach it everything it knows and put an enormous amount of dedication into doing that. If you can't be home every night to take care of him/her then don't get one. If you don't have the patience to try methods for 6-12 months before they take hold, don't get a puppy.

    If you do get one, and can't do this.. then you are going to be the one who is going to have to break the commitment and give it up.

    Dogs will love and trust you unconditionally. I find that its usually their human counter part that lets them down, and not the other way around.

    My labrador was an absolute terror as a puppy. It was very hard to keep up with her, make sure she gets excercise and some semblance of training. Its been a long three years to get where we are now and I wouldn't give her up for the world, but whenever people tell me they want a puppy because its cute and will love them... well, if they only knew how much you will think you made a mistake in those first few months.
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    Oct 30, 2011 1:06 AM GMT
    _Mohamed_ saidbut blackguy4you has solved the problem I was trying to explain to you guys.

    I need a pet. Simple as that.

    If I take a look at myself, I need to satisfy the following:

    - my need for someone or something to be there for me when I go home every night
    - my need for someone or something to spend quality time on me that I can RELY on

    ... and what is perfect for that?

    A PUPPY. Seriously.

    I realized that I get along with dogs so well and I LOVE spending time with them... so why not get one of my own.

    That way I can always have the emotional and loyal aspect of my life completed.....


    and with that said, I apologize if I came off as being a bitch...as you guys have already known for a while, it's because of that open relationship that I came out of.


    *hugs*


    Oh shut the fuck up, have a few dates (not neccessarily shags) and enjoy yourself while you're young free and single.

    You just haven't been discovered yet.

    And puppy my arse. All that shit everywhere. And how much does pet food cost anyway?

    Stroke someone else's. If you'll pardon the pun.
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    Oct 30, 2011 1:44 AM GMT
    Shawnathan saidStart with a plant. Plants are cheap and you can generally leave them for an entire weekend. Oh and they rarely eat your homework.


    My cactus peed on the first twelve pages of my dissertation. I think it was my drunk worthless roommate - but he maintains to this day it was the cactus, not him. Never trust the cacti icon_eek.gif
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    Oct 30, 2011 2:37 AM GMT
    Shawnathan saidStart with a plant. Plants are cheap and you can generally leave them for an entire weekend. Oh and they rarely eat your homework.


    I thought cacti were supposed to be easy to maintain, but 3 out of 4 died within a few months. The last one grew limp, fell off my shelf and literally exploded on my notes. It stank.
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    Oct 30, 2011 4:11 AM GMT
    TicklesYourPicklegreenbkgrd.gif
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    Oct 30, 2011 6:40 AM GMT
    adam228 saiduh, a puppy is not like a boyfriend.

    A puppy is like a child. You have to teach it everything it knows and put an enormous amount of dedication into doing that. If you can't be home every night to take care of him/her then don't get one. If you don't have the patience to try methods for 6-12 months before they take hold, don't get a puppy.

    If you do get one, and can't do this.. then you are going to be the one who is going to have to break the commitment and give it up.

    Dogs will love and trust you unconditionally. I find that its usually their human counter part that lets them down, and not the other way around.

    My labrador was an absolute terror as a puppy. It was very hard to keep up with her, make sure she gets excercise and some semblance of training. Its been a long three years to get where we are now and I wouldn't give her up for the world, but whenever people tell me they want a puppy because its cute and will love them... well, if they only knew how much you will think you made a mistake in those first few months.


    Some VERY good points here.

    A puppy is like a child and a HUUUUUGE commitment. It is one of the best experiences in life and I can not imagine living without a dog BUT it is an extreme amount of responsibility. You may want to consider a cat - MUCH lower maintainence and very loving as well!!!!

    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 30, 2011 6:44 AM GMT
    Not to sound preachy, but definitely consider a cat unless you really know what you are getting into with a dog. They are a lot more work than people think. I've been fortunate enough to have cats that are more affectionate that many dogs.
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    Oct 30, 2011 6:51 AM GMT
    yeah, i love pets!
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    Oct 30, 2011 6:52 AM GMT
    It's scary that people this irresponsible would even possibly be allowed to own pets!icon_eek.gif

    How about you get YOUR OWN life before you find out you can't handle the commitment and responsibly a dog requires and ruin its life.
  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    Oct 30, 2011 1:15 PM GMT
    Adding to the chorus of cat supporters, I rescued a stray when I was much closer to your age. He was definitely the most appropriate pet for me at that time for the reasons cited above -- cleaner, ability to stay on his own for longer periods of time, etc. And I sometimes lived in apartment buildings with mouse problems, but they never lasted long with him around.

    He was also the most doglike cat I've ever met in terms of personality -- a big orange tabby who loved people and liked to get up in your face and head-butt you. I was very nomadic in those days and he joined me on a few cross-country road trips, living with me in Minneapolis (where I met him), Boston and San Francisco. He always adapted like a champ.

    And despite being quite independent, he was also very loyal and was pissed with me for not living up to his standards of loyalty. While living in SF I spent a year-and-a-half living in a Zen center where we couldn't have pets, so I gave him to a friend of mine who already had a cat. He bonded with the other cat and with my friend, but gave me the cold shoulder when I came to visit. Eventually he seemed to forgive me, but it took years and may have been due to senility. He died in Miami last year at around 18 years of age (and with every infirmity you can think of), having lived a well-traveled life many humans would envy.

    Whatever pet you get, though, make sure you research the food and health-care costs and can set aside money for them as they can be surprisingly staggering. My ex's dogs were constantly in and out of the vet's office and ran up the pricey bills to show for it.
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    Oct 30, 2011 8:26 PM GMT
    Jeandeau saidIt's scary that people this irresponsible would even possibly be allowed to own pets!icon_eek.gif

    How about you get YOUR OWN life before you find out you can't handle the commitment and responsibly a dog requires and ruin its life.



    QFT
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    Oct 30, 2011 8:51 PM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    beneful1 said
    Jeandeau saidIt's scary that people this irresponsible would even possibly be allowed to own pets!icon_eek.gif

    How about you get YOUR OWN life before you find out you can't handle the commitment and responsibly a dog requires and ruin its life.



    QFT

    Wow...so glad I blocked this douche a while back. icon_rolleyes.gif Thanks for the rebroadcast, B, lol.


    I guess I should have qualified that... his being irresonsible part that is because I don't know him

    I do agree though strongly that getting a dog/cat is NOT something to be just acted on with so little thought.. and then having everyone all happy and "oh isn't that wonderful.. go get one" and all your problems will be solved.. Doesn't work that way.

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    Oct 30, 2011 9:18 PM GMT
    whats going to happen when this dog dies? back to the drawing board? I don't think this is going to solve anything.
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    Oct 30, 2011 9:20 PM GMT
    jrunner25 saidwhats going to happen when this dog dies? back to the drawing board? I don't think this is going to solve anything.


    My guess is after a week with the angry twink, the dog will chew threw the leash and beg to go back to the pound. Unless its deaf. Then it only has to look at him. Which is no bargain either.
  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Oct 30, 2011 9:21 PM GMT
    #needy
    #runningawayfromproblems

    I mean, maybe it will be what you need. Dogs are indeed the best companions. But no substitute for a boyfriend. Or dealing with issues. It is a temporary fix at best.
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    Oct 30, 2011 9:22 PM GMT
    adam228 saiduh, a puppy is not like a boyfriend.

    A puppy is like a child. You have to teach it everything it knows and put an enormous amount of dedication into doing that. If you can't be home every night to take care of him/her then don't get one. If you don't have the patience to try methods for 6-12 months before they take hold, don't get a puppy.

    If you do get one, and can't do this.. then you are going to be the one who is going to have to break the commitment and give it up.

    Dogs will love and trust you unconditionally. I find that its usually their human counter part that lets them down, and not the other way around.

    My labrador was an absolute terror as a puppy. It was very hard to keep up with her, make sure she gets excercise and some semblance of training. Its been a long three years to get where we are now and I wouldn't give her up for the world, but whenever people tell me they want a puppy because its cute and will love them... well, if they only knew how much you will think you made a mistake in those first few months.


    ^ Gotta agree with this. A puppy is more like raising a child than an alternative to having a partner. You need good time management and have lots of research done before owning a pet. It's true they help with your loneliness and can be fun after fully trained. But if you fail to meet their needs for whatever reason, return it immediately.

    Also, dating isn't the only cure for your emotions. Make some good friends who are willing to hang out with you on occasions. I only have straight friends and my sexual orientation doesn't affect my fun time with somebody else. Your problem is that you're living your life with a rainbow flag on your forehead. There's much more to life than this.

    Like someone said here, you need to be committed on completing yourself as an individual before expecting a commitment from someone else. It's like going to a job interview and saying "please I need a job badly, hire me please please". No, you won't get the job even if they know you need it badly. Dating is no different. Desperate acts are a major turn off. You can't keep a boyfriend around on simply "I want monogamous long-term" statements. Those are broad terms; relationships are far more complicated. You will realize it as you grow older.

    Like the old saying goes, patience is a virtue. Good things come to those who wait.
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    Oct 30, 2011 9:24 PM GMT
    I think you need to figure out why there's a need need to have some one to come home to. Its definitely nice to have (I have it nice now), but your happiness shouldn't depend on it.

    And BTW, having a puppy is a HUGE responsibility and expensive. Good luck.
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    Oct 30, 2011 9:25 PM GMT
    And PS, if you're having problems with men just wanting sex, STOP putting half naked photos of you out there. What you put out, is what you get. End of story.
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    Oct 31, 2011 12:48 AM GMT
    Yu guys are fucking jerks... (with the exception of yourname and some others)...

    I am not going to listen to your crappy and ignorant advice because it seems to me that you guys have no reason other than to try and convince me to do something I don't want to do ...

    whether that being finding a reelationship with a man or raising a puppy.

    so I have mjy mind set on raising a puppy... because I can handle that commitment.

    just because half of you out there can't handle raising a puppy doesn't mean I can't.

    I have the loyalty of a dog when it comes to bonds... and I am struggling in life because I can't find a MAN that has the same intensity of loyalty as me.. so what's the next thing I can do... that's t get a puppy and enjoy my life with it.

    so fuck off all of you haters.
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    Oct 31, 2011 12:49 AM GMT
    They stay you start out with a plant, then a cat, then a dog. My Mom says if you're not comfortable making the jump between plant and cat, you can take the goldfish step in between.