FTTL11 saidThanks for the replies, I really wa not sure myself.
I thought it didn't mean someone was just after sex by that try were for friendship only and didn't want anyone else or just won't follow through etc.
It seems to be an all to common occurrence why the sounds of it.
I'm not really sure myself, but I think it does exist for varying reasons, and this is more the realm of psychology.
Children from homes with little affection and emotional interaction can be emotionally deficient as adults. Institutionalized children, such as orphans, have been observed to have a higher incidence of emotional detachment in adulthood, though that may not prevent them from being achievers in other ways.
Life trauma can cause the hurt syndrome, encouraging us to erect emotional barriers so we can't be hurt as badly again. Being emotionally available can also expose us to vulnerability, and so some will chose to avoid close relationships. This past trauma can include the death of loved ones, and the breakdown of a marriage or other relationship. I've been there quite a few times myself, but always seem to recover somewhat over time.
Though perhaps not as completely as I was before the trauma. And I've said to others I feel myself more emotionally scarred each time, not as fully functional as I was before, analogous to a loss of range of physical motion, as caused by my accidents & illnesses.
I even confessed this to my present partner and apologized, a change in me brought about by the death of my first partner, and he said he'd become the same way following his own late partner's death. By virtue of us sharing this experience I think we've each recovered more of our emotional availability and vulnerability than we might have done separately, however, drawing strength & confidence from each other, and feeling a little safer to reveal our emotions again.
And then I think there's the guy who's the narcissist. When you're consumed with self-love there often isn't much room left for anyone else. That's the one guy who's probably not going to improve a lot with time, so when you identify him he's best left to stare into his mirror alone.