I hate the "getting over you" phase.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 3:55 AM GMT
    Being heartbroken sucks. It sucks bad. I can't help but feel disgust because I continually put myself in situations where I end up getting hurt. You'd think that experience and age would make you stronger and better, but why do I feel more vulnerable than ever? I don't want to end up jaded but now I can see why so many older gay men are. I know I've always been really emotional but it's always been to my detriment. I'm supposed to deploy in the next few days and I can't help but feel excited that I get to get away for a while, even it is to the desert. I put on a smile at work and in front of everyone but deep down I'm hurting and don't know how to deal with it. I find myself withdrawn from everyone and I sit alone in the dark with a stiff drink and sad, familiar music to keep me company. I'm sorry, maybe I just needed to vent. I almost wish this last guy screwed me over and I hated him so that i could get over him much more quickly, but he's done nothing wrong. What the hell is wrong with me???
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 4:19 AM GMT
    I'm supposed to deploy in the next few days

    I had to read this a couple of times before I finally understood the extent of your situation.

    That sucks, buddy.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 4:22 AM GMT
    Dammit.

    I'm working to get to your fitness level and I'm still going to have some bastard crush my mental state?

    I thought I was easy to dump because I used to be fat.

    I am so fucked.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 5:18 AM GMT
    robf64,

    i'm not that fit but thanks. and yes, i'm deploying overseas sometime in the next week and can't wait. it seems that no matter how many times i go through this the feeling feels new everytime. i'm tired of being a sensitive cry-baby.

    vince
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 5:40 AM GMT
    Getting dumped sucks. I went through about 2 months of sulking, feeling depressed and lost 10 pounds during this. I since then am dating again, gaining pounds through muscle and feeling great. It just takes a while. My guy was an AA person and worked at a church so he was never available or suitable anyway.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 6:07 AM GMT
    You're definitely not alone. I'm in the same boat; super emotional and always placing myself in situations where in the end my heart is broken into a million pieces. I feel the pain just thinking about it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 6:27 AM GMT
    someone on here reccomended reading, The Velvet Rage.... i did... maybe you should. Not that im saying it was awesome, but rather inciteful. i just got dumped by my first gay love... yeah, it sucks... but so did he... ( and not in the good way)... chin up, dont be so hard on yourself....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 12:56 PM GMT
    solosport - I'm waiting for the weight loss phase to kick in. The sad part is I've actually gained a little weight and it's not helping me feel any better.

    hairyandym - I've never heard of that book but I'll check it out. And sorry about your first gay love. It's tough. I was this guy's first gay anything but his heart wasn't the one that got broken.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 1:25 PM GMT
    Feeling terrible sucks.

    Come to Denver.

    I will make you a big dinner and then do things to you that we don't speak of in certain circles.

    Then you will feel better.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 1:43 PM GMT
    islndmscle saidI'm supposed to deploy in the next few days and I can't help but feel excited that I get to get away for a while, even it is to the desert.

    The "run away and join the French Foreign Legion in the desert to forget a lost love" response. Though naturally you're being honorably deployed and I salute you, and wish you the best. Old silly romantic novels on this topic aside, if you were going to be deployed anyway, maybe this will be just what the doctor ordered, to clear your mind of this when you will have much else to keep you occupied.

    Incidentally I was stationed at Fort Dix in 1969, site of some of my most memorable misadventures. Someday when and if you have the opportunity in the desert we must swap war stories. I hope mine will make you laugh, and I'm sure yours will inspire me. ***SALUTE***