DO I HAVE TO BE WHITE? For you to want to get to know me??!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 4:32 AM GMT
    Honestly, It Infuriates me, whenever I go to this site and see a young man's profile and at first they're seemingly kind, intelligent, and thoughtful...only to see at the end of their page--" Sorry, only looking for whites". Ugh! I mean I know everyone has their preferences as to who and what turns them on. But, really?! And before anyone comments on this thread and says, "Oh it's because they're racist". I know for fact that's not true--for most cases. However, it does frustrate me to think that because of my skin color you don't find me attractive. I mean that's what it comes down to, "You don't/can't find black men attractive". Which is absolutely absurd! Sure, if you don't like bigger men (they can lose weight), If you don't like feminine guys (they can change their behavior); but what the hell am I supposed to do?! Bleach myself to death! Ha!

    One thing I do know is that there are beautiful people of all races, shapes, and personalities. So, to any one that doesn't fit the quota of "white,thin, masc, blue eyed..etc.) REALIZE this, the people who put that on their pages, have just missed out on someone wonderful, someone great, and there is going to be someone who will appreciate you for all of who you are. Don't you dare change a thing about yourself, and let them keep looking for their "media perfect man". To those men who contend with this notion, there is no anger to you, but there is pity for you and for the lack of openness even in the gay community. It is very, very disappointing.

    -Sidney
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 4:40 AM GMT
    74844897_nodding_gif.gif

    I approve of this message.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 4:43 AM GMT
    To answer your question in the thread title....


    NOPE! Not at all, you can be purple, green, blue.. I dont care!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 4:46 AM GMT
    I haven't seen it much on this site, but I've been on dating sites where a decent number of people only seem to date in their own race, or maybe one other. It's sad really. I don't think it has to do with racism. I think it has to do with familiarity. We develop attractions as we're growing up, and if we don't see many people outside of our own race, we don't see them as attractive. It's their loss. People should open up their minds, but it's not something you can force on them.

    Then there are the people who will only date outside their own race, but that's a different topic.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 4:48 AM GMT
    Birds of a feather flock together, I guess. I was fortunate to grow up in a multi-cultural environment. And I'm cool with meeting people from all walks of life; whether it be age, race, culture, or sub-culture.

    But you know, I don't expect other people to be as open minded. You can't force guys to step out of their comfort zone and make them interact with people they normally don't hang out with. I don't think it's necessarily about racism. It's more about being around people/places/things that are familiar to them.

    Anyways, don't give up. Lots of cool guys out there. icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 4:54 AM GMT
    "Then there are the people who will only date outside their own race, but that's a different topic."

    Yeah, you're right.. different topic! But, clearly the a equally problematic issue.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 4:55 AM GMT
    Sidney12 said"Then there are the people who will only date outside their own race, but that's a different topic."

    Yeah, you're right.. different topic! But, clearly the a equally problematic issue.


    Yes, both problems are about limiting yourself based on superficial characteristics, but I won't get on my soap box about that just now. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 5:03 AM GMT
    Sometimes I wish that a straight guy would want to have sex with me, but somehow on their profiles they keep writing "sorry, only looking for people with vaginas".

    I am so pissed!! Maybe I should start a thread discussing this issue. I mean, these straight guys just missed out on someone who is sincere genuine fun and caring! I don't understand why they don't find me attractive just because of the fact that I have a penis and not vagina?! That is so absurd! How dare they prefer to have sex with women! I am sooooo outraged.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 5:04 AM GMT
    I see that you are attempting to look "whiter" which is a good start towards fitting in with the white race. Your color contacts set you apart from other black people (though I would recommend blue contacts), and your collar shirts look very stylish. Many blue collar white men would be proud of your choice of clothing, and loss of roots & heritage on your mission to lose the african in your american.

    One suggestion. Have you tried bleaching your skin? All the popular black celebrities are doing it to look more mulatto, so they can fit in better with the white rich crowd. This is ultimately your only hope if you really do want to fit in.

    micl.jpg
    mich82135.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 5:08 AM GMT
    Sidney12 saidHonestly, It Infuriates me, whenever I go to this site and see a young man's profile and at first they're seemingly kind, intelligent, and thoughtful...only to see at the end of their page--" Sorry, only looking for whites". Ugh! I mean I know everyone has their preferences as to who and what turns them on. But, really?! And before anyone comments on this thread and says, "Oh it's because they're racist". I know for fact that's not true--for most cases. However, it does frustrate me to think that because of my skin color you don't find me attractive. I mean that's what it comes down to, "You don't/can't find black men attractive". Which is absolutely absurd! Sure, if you don't like bigger men (they can lose weight), If you don't like feminine guys (they can change their behavior); but what the hell am I supposed to do?! Bleach myself to death! Ha!

    One thing I do know is that there are beautiful people of all races, shapes, and personalities. So, to any one that doesn't fit the quota of "white,thin, masc, blue eyed..etc.) REALIZE this, the people who put that on their pages, have just missed out on someone wonderful, someone great, and there is going to be someone who will appreciate you for all of who you are. Don't you dare change a thing about yourself, and let them keep looking for their "media perfect man". To those men who contend with this notion, there is no anger to you, but there is pity for you and for the lack of openness even in the gay community. It is very, very disappointing.

    -Sidney


    It's okay, it's the brain that counts.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 1:53 PM GMT
    I'm so over this "wah wah white boys don't like me i'm inferior" BS. talk to someone who cares. end of story.

    LittleHitler said

    One suggestion. Have you tried bleaching your skin? All the popular black celebrities are doing it to look more mulatto, so they can fit in better with the white rich crowd. This is ultimately your only hope if you really do want to fit in.

    micl.jpg
    mich82135.jpg


    LOL LOL LOL. Wow.

    But you do realize that's lighting, right?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 2:57 PM GMT
    Sidney12 saidHowever, it does frustrate me to think that because of my skin color you don't find me attractive...
    -Sidney

    True, to automatically exclude guys from the dating pool because of skin color is a prejudice. Some of the most stunningly handsome & desirable men are dark-skinned. Some of the most ugly are light.

    I'm monogamous now, not looking, but never have I put skin color as one of my dating requirements on a gay social site. Yet I don't know how to change the attitude of others.

    I was fortunate to have parents who opposed racial discrimination in the 1950s (and other forms of discrimination), and they taught that to me. And in the US Army absolute racial equality was enforced. Not perfect, but I really think we were the best example in all of US society at that time.

    So that my closest friend in 1970-71 was a Black soldier. In Kentucky, no less. You can imagine the stares we got when we'd go to restaurants, movies, shopping & such. I was always waiting for some White to deny him entrance, but then they would have seen the full wrath of an Army Sergeant, and I would have requested that Fort Knox make them off-limits, which could happen.

    Yet I hated the shame it must have caused my friend that I had to essentially "vouch" for him in a White world. He got admission, but often only because he was with a White guy who took no crap.

    But I didn't give a fuck about my own image. He was the brightest guy in our company, fun to be with, very attractive, and above all my friend & fellow soldier. In the Army you stand by your buddy. I now know I also had a crush on him, and I think he was gay, too. Nothing ever came of it, though, I was still in deep denial.

    What foolishness is this skin tone issue. I can go down to a Florida beach any day and see Whites still trying, despite cancer warnings, to make themselves darker than half the Blacks of African heritage I know. It's a skin tone, not fish scales for gawd's sakes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 3:31 PM GMT
    Try not to sweat it, Sidney; you're an extraordinarily good looking man. Their limitations are their limitations. icon_wink.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2011 4:28 PM GMT
    Hey, I'm too old, too PC, without perfectly cut abs, hung "only" average, and I'm barely middle-income. My hair is graying and disappearing, I stuff my equipment in run-of-the-mill boxers or briefs instead of European designer label thongs, and my address isn't in the Sunbelt or even in a gayborhood. Not only that, (CLUTCH THE PEARLS) my profile pic is G-rated and isn't even "public." I feel ya! There's plenty of attitude and clueless hatin' out there. So what. I look at it as the chaff separating itself from the wheat to keep me from having to. The quality people like what's in my self description and have enough integrity and common sense to realize that what's on the inside is what counts. Better still, the relationships I form stand a better chance of not only being higher quality but longer lasting. Japanophile nerds and wrestling nuts will stay connected while "perfect" pairings between guys with 2(x)ist jockstraps and swollen pecs fall apart in short order.

    Often the aggravation over the superficial multitudes conceals the reality, OP, that we've actually got the better deal! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 31, 2011 3:24 AM GMT
    LittleHitler saidI see that you are attempting to look "whiter" which is a good start towards fitting in with the white race. Your color contacts set you apart from other black people (though I would recommend blue contacts), and your collar shirts look very stylish. Many blue collar white men would be proud of your choice of clothing, and loss of roots & heritage on your mission to lose the african in your american.

    One suggestion. Have you tried bleaching your skin? All the popular black celebrities are doing it to look more mulatto, so they can fit in better with the white rich crowd. This is ultimately your only hope if you really do want to fit in.

    micl.jpg
    mich82135.jpg


    Uh. Firstly my picture is the lighting of where I took it (outside w/ the SUN), not me trying to "fit in" as you put it. Also, I didn't know wearing a shirt with buttons on it conforms to the white society. Silly me, I thought it was just a shirt! And you wanna look closer, those are my eyes! I'm mixed. That's the beauty of America it's not just one culture there are several and each I embrace and give homage to.
    -Have a nice day.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 31, 2011 5:08 AM GMT
    Seriously,, If I was looking and saw a really handsome black guy online or in some sort of ad.. I'd much rather his profile said "sorry, black guys only" or "no whiteys" Wouldn't fizz on me a bit. I think you're investing too much emotion into this. imo.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 31, 2011 5:15 AM GMT
    beneful1 saidSeriously,, If I was looking and saw a really handsome black guy online or in some sort of ad.. I'd much rather his profile said "sorry, black guys only" or "no whiteys" Wouldn't fizz on me a bit. I think you're investing too much emotion into this. imo.


    of course you wouldn't be fazed, you're white. even the most average of white guys here/in gay culture get revered like they're the second coming. seriously.

    i get what the OP is saying, but i hate giving these shallow tools further validation. i think it's wiser to just take the approach that you shouldn't don't give a fuck if someone doesn't "prefer" you because of your race. i don't personally prefer ignorant, so fuck dumb people and their close-minded preferences. put more truthfully, today's 20 something bigot is tomorrow's 40 something chocolate chaser icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 31, 2011 7:10 AM GMT
    Sidney12, all I can say is don't try to change for others. The ones worthy of your time will eventually cross your path. You're great as you are and quite handsome I must say.

    I learned through experience and even reading about white privilege about how to better accept who I am and not try to become someone I'm not. I think it's incredibly beautiful how there is so much diversity out there. If others can't appreciate that as well, then I generally don't like to be associated with them. Keep up the search if you haven't met that special guy yet. icon_wink.gif