Is It Possible To Have A Long Distance Relationship While In School?

  • santacruzguy

    Posts: 5

    Oct 31, 2011 6:24 AM GMT
    Hey Guys, Ok so this is my first forum and could use some advise... Im currently in a long term relationship and we are in lub and all that jazz...
    I recently have gone back to school and would love to transfer to a 4 year university sometime in the near future with the option of doing a study abroad for a semester or two.
    I just dont know how other people DO it! Both school and my career are very important, but so is he...
    What do many other people find works in these situations? I would love for him to come with me, but that really isn't an option for us.
    Is this going to have to develop into some kind of an open relationship while we are apart in order for us to stay together?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2011 6:47 AM GMT
    It depends on the distance. If it's possible for you two to still visit from time to time, you'll have a generally healthier relationship in my view. My best friend is like that and visits her girlfriend every other weekend or so. But if you're gonna be apart for an extended amount of time, it's all going to depend on how well you two handle things.

    Generally though, I would say that starting a relationship long-distance isn't that great. All the guys I know who started that way didn't last long. I think it's because they weren't able to see each other often enough, and that necessary bond and understanding so important in the beginning didn't form. It's not impossible, but the chances of having a great relationship in the end isn't good if you start it by being apart.

    This all boils down to what you want and how you handle things. Good luck.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Oct 31, 2011 6:56 AM GMT
    it's like a pen pal w skype.icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2011 7:01 AM GMT
    ShaneF_87 said
    Generally though, I would say that starting a relationship long-distance isn't that great. All the guys I know who started that way didn't last long.


    He's right. Mine lasted a whole 2 weeks. That's where I went wrong. I was attempting to START it long distance.

    Back in 2005 when it did work out, I had already dated the guy at home for several months when he moved 5 hours south. But even then, when we met back up after he moved out of town, it fizzled shortly after.

    There's no way a LDR can work out if you're in school. You need to focus on your studies. You'll be in college with hot guys saying, "I have a BF." Oh, where's he at? 10,000 miles away. I'll see him in 2 semesters from now.

    Unless the 'lub' is very well bonded, I would seriously consider it. Actually, I would not consider it. Men change too much. They just like cars. Leave em in the garage for a few weeks/months and they start breaking down. Flat, don't wanna start up...just broke down.
  • santacruzguy

    Posts: 5

    Oct 31, 2011 7:14 AM GMT
    Thanks, we have been together for almost 4 years and living together for 3. So this will be a huge adjustment if I do get into school. He seems to be supportive of my school plans, being a college grad he kinda has to be.

    I think our biggest obstacle would actually be communication. We seem to kinda be like an "old married couple"

    And yes I would have to watch out being around a ton of cute boys...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2011 10:25 PM GMT
    It can work.

    Real love doesn't have expectations. If you have established that and understand the outcome may not be as expected, you'll do just fine.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2011 10:32 PM GMT
    It's possible yes

    but I don't think it will make you very happy in the end.