My boyfriend's two weirdly possessive and clingy faghags

  • scoopny

    Posts: 3

    Oct 31, 2011 8:15 PM GMT
    So my boyfriend and I have been dating for over two years. And it has been growing great... until we moved to New York. We both went to school together and lived together after I finished law school for a year after in the town where we both went to school for a year before moving to NYC. The problem is his TWO weirdly possessive and clingy faghags. They live in New York. They are lonely. They don't like each other very much and are very much frenemies. They compete and lobby for his attention. They always want him to come over on the weekends and party with them all night. If he spends time with one of them, the other will immediately demand an equal amount of time with him or he can expect a snippy text along the lines of "thanks for inviting me" if we are hanging out with the other one. If we try to go home after a night of partying with them, they lobby us hard to stay the night and spend all of the next day with them. Often I say no, sometimes he feels guilty and goes and hangs out with them because they are his closest friends in NYC, but they often use him as their default +1 when they need a "boyfriend" for a party, which usually means I'm on my own. I'm starting to feel like I'm a third wheel in my own relationship! He knows how I feel about them, but is wary of cutting them off because they are his closest friends and I don't want to make that kind of ultimatum. It's gotten to the point where if I want to hang out with him over the weekend, they include themselves and it means if I want to see my friends, I go alone because they have usually lobbied to have him go out with one of them weeks in advance. For example, last weekend one of them sent a detailed itinerary of what we were going to do for Halloween. This weekend one is hosting a two-part, two-day 25th birthday bash. Am I doomed? I'd try to find them boyfriends, but, you know, that's just not going to work.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2011 8:23 PM GMT
    Don't kill them yourself, that's just ASKING for trouble...


    hitman.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2011 8:23 PM GMT
    Drop your boyfriend. Even if he drops those hags, he'll just find new ones to ignore you with.
  • scoopny

    Posts: 3

    Oct 31, 2011 8:28 PM GMT
    At first I was thinking the problem was them, then I came to my senses. I think I should at least try talking to him about it in a constructive way, without pointing fingers.

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    Oct 31, 2011 8:44 PM GMT
    Here is a thought... point out that you are spending much more time with his friends than he is with yours. If you think he will deny it, use a Google Calendar to color-code your social appointments (with his friends, with my friends, alone together, etc.) for a few weeks and show him. Then come to some kind of agreement you can live with that makes it more equitable.

    My BF is an introvert (getting a little more social than he used to be) and I choose my battles when I ask him to take part in social events because if he is not having a good time, he's not great at disguising it. I have a sense of who he will like and not like, and plan accordingly so we have a balance of together social time. We are both crazy busy, too, and the calendar keeps us from double-booking or neglecting down time.
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    Oct 31, 2011 8:52 PM GMT
    Sounds to me like these bitches r in serious need of some Dick.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2011 8:56 PM GMT
    wolverinecub86 saidSounds to me like these bitches r in serious need of some Dick.


    seconded
  • scoopny

    Posts: 3

    Oct 31, 2011 9:05 PM GMT
    Know any guys into possessive clingy faghags who live in NYC? Let me know I can hook you up.
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    Oct 31, 2011 9:11 PM GMT
    Guys have this same problem when they play secondhand to drugs, alcohol, sex compulsions, work, pets or some other priority that their boyfriend prefers.

    Part of maturity is getting out of denial, and looking at what is. Stop torturing yourself. The reality is, you are dating a guy who has a fetish about fag hags. Either you can accept your "rank" in the relationship, or you face up and get out. Yeah, you can wage an ongoing war of competing with them for his time and attention, but do you really want that?

    Its my bet that 10 years from now, you'll meet all his future ex-boyfriends at the coffee shop, and trade laughs about the guy with fag hag issue. icon_razz.gif








  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 01, 2011 12:02 AM GMT
    With contaminants, if you can't extract, dilute.
    Add people to the mix.



    ....and maybe have designated days every week when it's JUST you two guys and there's no exceptions.
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    Nov 01, 2011 5:57 AM GMT
    Here's a thought, if you keep your bf in bed and fully fucked and tired, he won't want to party with the girls. You're gonna have to put up something better than what they can give him and that's your ass and/or dick. Keep him so totally fucked, slack jawed and googly eyed that he won't even remember their names.

    Start a couple of hours before all the "plans" are scheduled to start so that the bf ends up blowing off the girls while you two keep blowing each other.

    Sex, good food, and then sleep. Repeat all weekend.

    It's the only way.

  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Nov 01, 2011 6:29 AM GMT
    I think your bigger problem is creating fake profiles