A sign that I'm getting old?

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    Nov 01, 2011 2:34 AM GMT
    I have begun to associate Halloween with children, wholesome family time, and trick-or-treating. I've trick-or-treated with friends and their kids a couple of years in a row now. I honestly can't think of a better way to spend the holiday--any holiday, for that matter.

    I want nothing more than to be a father. That will be my next big journey--and, I'm sure, the most rewarding one. I don't know if I'll have a partner or if I'll do it alone, but I know I'll become a father within the next five years.

    Just sharing. :-)
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    Nov 01, 2011 2:56 AM GMT
    jpBITCHva said
    19c79 saidI have begun to associate Halloween with children, wholesome family time, and trick-or-treating. I've trick-or-treated with friends and their kids a couple of years in a row now. I honestly can't think of a better way to spend the holiday--any holiday, for that matter.

    I want nothing more than to be a father. That will be my next big journey--and, I'm sure, the most rewarding one. I don't know if I'll have a partner or if I'll do it alone, but I know I'll become a father within the next five years.

    Just sharing. :-)

    Well,. my word, the heteronormativity in here is STIFLING.

    No, I'm kidding. Live your life the best way you can, Tino. Anyway, you don't need my advice for that.

    I suppose this is rude, but I couldn't help wondering if this paternal thing played a role in your recent breakup.


    Hah... Yeah, I know you're kidding. I realize not everyone (gay or straight) wants to be a parent. I wanted it more than my ex, but he began to want it a little more after his siblings had children and he started spending time with them. It wasn't one of the decisive factors in the breakup.
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    Nov 01, 2011 4:05 AM GMT
    Thanks, Tony. I always thought I wanted kids, but the paternal instinct has grown since I hit 30. And I mean "grown" quite literally. Not only do I want it more now than I did before, I am approaching it seriously--thinking through the foreseeable challenges of parenting, while knowing that there is much that is unforeseeable. I'm preparing myself, educating myself for it--aware that it's one of those jobs where you do much learning by practice.

    I'm staying this month in Tuscaloosa at an old roommate's parents' home. My friend, her husband, and her three children live two doors down. It has been great to be able to spend time with them almost every day. I've bonded immensely with her 3-year-old daughter, Micah. She's not exactly the most gregarious of the bunch, yet for some reason, she bonded with me from day one. She will say things such as "I love you, Tino" at random times, and she sometimes will even surprise me with a kiss.

    We hung out at her grandparents' after trick-or-treating, but she was very tired and almost asleep when they left. Well, I got an email from my friend a few minutes ago, saying that "Micah cried on the way home because she hadn't hugged you and because she didn't want you to 'stay away.'" It made my heart melt, and that damn biological clock tick louder than ever. icon_biggrin.gif
  • monet

    Posts: 1093

    Nov 01, 2011 4:15 AM GMT
    Little kids are great but they grow into miserable, rotten, selfish teenagers.

    Been there, done that, no interest in doing it again.

    Now I'm just waiting for one of my kids to give me grandchildren.
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    Nov 01, 2011 4:21 AM GMT
    I've wanted children for as long as I can remember. I don't think it has anything to do with age, at least not for me. I'm not sure it will ever happen for me, but even as I get older, I never stop hoping it does.
  • wander2340

    Posts: 176

    Nov 01, 2011 4:21 AM GMT
    Halloween is a great time for us! Not only because of the fun we have with our kids but also because we get to hang out wtih all our coolest neighbors. This year was a smashing success!!! Everyone said our house had the coolest decorations (fog machine was especially popular) and I only had one piece of candy. WooHoo!!!
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Nov 01, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    I admire people that want kids. Good Lord I dont have the patience for adults much less children. I would catch a case....
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    Nov 01, 2011 4:28 AM GMT
    monet saidLittle kids are great but they grow into miserable, rotten, selfish teenagers.

    Been there, done that, no interest in doing it again.

    Now I'm just waiting for one of my kids to give me grandchildren.

    Yeah, I have a nephew/godson who I'm very close to. He's 15 now. I can't say I know, fully, but I have an idea of what you're talking about. I actually look forward to having adult children almost more than I do to having young children. I do not look forward to the teenage years one bit, though.
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    Nov 01, 2011 4:28 AM GMT
    19c79 saidI have begun to associate Halloween with children, wholesome family time, and trick-or-treating. I've trick-or-treated with friends and their kids a couple of years in a row now. I honestly can't think of a better way to spend the holiday--any holiday, for that matter.

    I want nothing more than to be a father. That will be my next big journey--and, I'm sure, the most rewarding one. I don't know if I'll have a partner or if I'll do it alone, but I know I'll become a father within the next five years.

    Just sharing. :-)


    That sounds more fun than other halloweens I have had, though the drinking and parties are fun I think it would be more fun taking the little ones around the street seeing the looks on their faces as we carved the pumkins or as they ripped into their candy. Sounds like a good night in dead
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    Nov 01, 2011 4:29 AM GMT
    wander2340 saidHalloween is a great time for us! Not only because of the fun we have with our kids but also because we get to hang out wtih all our coolest neighbors. This year was a smashing success!!! Everyone said our house had the coolest decorations (fog machine was especially popular) and I only had one piece of candy. WooHoo!!!
    That's one fewer piece of candy than I had.
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    Nov 01, 2011 4:30 AM GMT
    opps typo meant deed not dead
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    Nov 01, 2011 4:32 AM GMT
    As a dad, I can tell you that being a father has been the single greatest and rewarding thing in my life. If I were to die tomorrow, I could leave this planet knowing that I helped make it a better place by raising a wonderful human being.

    That being said, being a parent is the toughest job you can ever have, particularly these days. I've had a wonderful partner and couldn't imagine doing it alone. We've given up quite a lot to raise our daughter and put our own needs behind hers. It ain't easy, especially if you want to do it right.

    I think many of our society's problems stem from the fact that people have children and aren't prepared or willing to give as much as is needed. I'm not trying to scare you but, if/when you're ready to make this lifelong commitment, do so with your eyes wide open.

    Peace.
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    Nov 01, 2011 4:34 AM GMT
    Yes, I too love children. My partner and I are in the process of adoption through a private agency. If you woul like some info just message me. Tons of paperwork and background checks. We have been officially "live" now for 5 months and just chill'n waiting to hear something.

    When I see all the kids trick or treating in our neighborhood it makes me want to be apart of being dad and trick or treating with a little one.

    I was sad last year when the Halloween route that the neighborhood association didn't include our street(we have a lot of steep steps to our house) but I kinda hung out at the bottom with candy, lit pumpkins and a fog machine hoping they might come by, but no chance of it happened icon_cry.gif
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    Nov 01, 2011 4:37 AM GMT
    Thanks for sharing. I think you'll make a great father! icon_biggrin.gif

    I've got the next ten years mapped out in my head. Yeah I'm one of those off-without-a-hitch-or-else kind of people, and having a kid is rattling around in my head albeit loosely. I ran into a former classmate the other day. Hetero, 21 -- two kids! One of them was almost two, and the other a newborn. I cannot imagine it. School, work, and two kids??!?!


    tumblr_lm1dcfgQ2V1qb6e5oo1_500.jpg
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    Nov 01, 2011 4:44 AM GMT
    Thanks, guys, for all the replies.

    mdstudio saidI think many of our society's problems stem from the fact that people have children and aren't prepared or willing to give as much as is needed. I'm not trying to scare you but, if/when you're ready to make this lifelong commitment, do so with your eyes wide open.


    I agree. I realize there's only so much I can prepare, but that's what I'm trying to do now... I need to give myself a few more years before I can afford it, anyhow.
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Nov 01, 2011 4:50 AM GMT
    I've thought about it alot, but if i were going to have kids it would have to be when I finish grad school--so I'd probably adopt a couple of older kids but I'm still not sure that it will ever happen for me.
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    Nov 01, 2011 5:13 AM GMT
    19c79 saidI have begun to associate Halloween with children, wholesome family time, and trick-or-treating. I've trick-or-treated with friends and their kids a couple of years in a row now. I honestly can't think of a better way to spend the holiday--any holiday, for that matter.

    I want nothing more than to be a father. That will be my next big journey--and, I'm sure, the most rewarding one. I don't know if I'll have a partner or if I'll do it alone, but I know I'll become a father within the next five years.

    Just sharing. :-)


    Aww that sounds cute.

    I wanna be a dad someday too. icon_smile.gif

    Oh my the next five years?

    Adoption or surrogate mother?
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Nov 01, 2011 5:17 AM GMT
    19c79 saidI have begun to associate Halloween with children, wholesome family time, and trick-or-treating. I've trick-or-treated with friends and their kids a couple of years in a row now. I honestly can't think of a better way to spend the holiday--any holiday, for that matter.

    I want nothing more than to be a father. That will be my next big journey--and, I'm sure, the most rewarding one. I don't know if I'll have a partner or if I'll do it alone, but I know I'll become a father within the next five years.

    Just sharing. :-)


    Tino you'd make a great Dad.icon_smile.gif Just ask your siblings though, it's alot more hard work and sacrifice than the fun part-if you do it right and for the right reasons.icon_idea.gif
  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    Nov 01, 2011 6:21 AM GMT
    There are plenty of unwanted kid's on this planet try and adopt?
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    Nov 01, 2011 6:25 AM GMT
    BodrumBoy saidThere are plenty of unwanted kid's on this planet try and adopt?


    That's what I wanna do someday, but it's so damn expensive. I wish there weren't such a hefty price in having a non-traditional family.
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    Nov 01, 2011 7:16 AM GMT
    It's pretty tough these days with two parents. Single parenting requires a very good income and a live in nanny. Dont expect much in return because having kids is not about you.
  • coastguy90814

    Posts: 661

    Nov 01, 2011 8:10 AM GMT
    No not old, just maturing...but I think we should become parents together!!! icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 01, 2011 8:37 AM GMT
    Awwww that's so cute (That sounds awful I know and I apologize)

    And no that's not a sign of you getting older. As you said you always wanted kids it has just gotten stronger, which is quite normal cause the older we get the more we get the impression that our time just flys away from us. Besides I'm pretty sure that you're going to be a great dad.

    Maybe you should think about the "doing it alone"-thing. Cause a lot of things are so much easier with a partner and I'm sure you're going to find one soon who wants the same things as you icon_smile.gif

    Good luck
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    Nov 01, 2011 9:55 AM GMT
    I've given it a lot of thought and have decided never to have children. I'm far too selfish. Besides, many of my gay male friends with kids love their children but often talk about their pre-child days ... when they had hair, money to burn, weren't suffering from various health ailments, weren't overweight and crying themselves to sleep at night.
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    Nov 01, 2011 9:56 AM GMT
    But seriously, I tend to think being gay is one of nature's ways of controlling population, so consider adopting, please. There are millions of children waiting for good homes. The world's overpopulated as it is. Be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.