How to Cope With Being A Have Not

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    Nov 01, 2011 4:51 AM GMT
    Some people are more lucky than others. Some people like me are less fortunate. I have a rather unhappy life. I didn't get to do anything at all for Halloween except look at everyones pictures that Facebook is shoving down my throat via my news feed. I'm so tired of being the audience for the happy parade. People that are lucky don't understand when I don't smile or act chipper over any and everything. "Where's your smile" is something I have to hear constantly and it drives me nuts. Why do some people act as if I'm supposed to put on a public show as to not disrupt the perfect happy bubble some people live in?
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    Nov 01, 2011 4:54 AM GMT
    Hey don't feel bad. If anything my Halloween wasn't too spectacular. Like I said before you need to try to open up to new things.

    Plus what happened to that guy who digs you. Maybe you could have joined him for the Halloween stuff.
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    Nov 01, 2011 4:56 AM GMT
    I just wished him a happy birthday today. He had well over 50 birthday wishes on Facebook. I got 5 this year. As far as trying to hang out with him, I'm not about to chase him. If a guy wants me around he'll match my effort.
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    Nov 01, 2011 4:59 AM GMT
    Well its not about chasing him....Anyhow try to expand your circle out...Living inside a shell doesn't exactly get you anywhere.
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    Nov 01, 2011 4:59 AM GMT
    imcaius saidHow to Cope With Being A Have Not


    Embrace it. Be the best Have Not you can be. Or, you can try this...

  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Nov 01, 2011 5:10 AM GMT
    Put on your big girl panties and deal.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Nov 01, 2011 5:11 AM GMT
    I look at you and think how incredibly good looking you are.
    There's no good reason for you to be sitting at home, bitching and moaning about your situation, a situation which you created, and which you don't seem to want to make any effort to change.

    Here's an idea.
    YOU throw a Halloween party.

  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Nov 01, 2011 5:19 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidI look at you and think how incredibly good looking you are.
    There's no good reason for you to be sitting at home, bitching and moaning about your situation, a situation which you created, and which you don't seem to want to make any effort to change.

    Here's an idea.
    YOU throw a Halloween party.


    HE was more polite than me. I agree totally.
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    Nov 01, 2011 5:21 AM GMT
    I text him first twice. He was busy and couldn't meet one day. The second time was me warning him about a quiz. Today I text him to say happy birthday. The balls in his court now. He's probably deflated it and left the court.

    If I threw a Halloween party and posted it on Facebook no one would come. Im really not joking when I say I don't have a social life.
  • bmoney1

    Posts: 244

    Nov 01, 2011 5:43 AM GMT
    The key to that, in my opinion, is learning to be content. Keyword being learing. You have to teach yourself to be content in whatever situation you find yourself. Not that you don't yearn to better your positionin life, but do not allow youself to be trouble by your current cirumstances. Embrace them, triumph over them, and teach yourself to be content therein.
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    Nov 01, 2011 6:07 AM GMT
    I drove two hours - in costume - to meet up with someone for Halloween and got stood up. That was my Halloween. You don't see me depressed or whining.
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    Nov 01, 2011 6:11 AM GMT
    If you are unhappy with your current situation...CHANGE IT! Simple as that man, get up and start making some moves, you have the power to do it. Think about all of the positive things you have going for yourself, and start thinking of ways to make even those things bettericon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 01, 2011 6:11 AM GMT
    imcaius saidI text him first twice. He was busy and couldn't meet one day. The second time was me warning him about a quiz. Today I text him to say happy birthday. The balls in his court now. He's probably deflated it and left the court.

    If I threw a Halloween party and posted it on Facebook no one would come. Im really not joking when I say I don't have a social life.


    You need to make the effort. You can't just expect people to flock to you. Join a team, volunteer somewhere, make friends at work, be one of those "looking for friends" Grindr profiles, etc. You seem like a nice enough guy, so put yourself out there a bit and see what comes back.



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    Nov 01, 2011 6:19 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidI drove two hours - in costume - to meet up with someone for Halloween and got stood up. That was my Halloween. You don't see me depressed or whining.


    You should drive 5, with no costume (or clothes). I wont stand you up.
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    Nov 01, 2011 6:23 AM GMT
    Maybe its time to look past the "ball is in his court" thinking? People have complex lives, just sending a text and waiting for an answer isn't the best solution. You have to swallow some pride, risk a little desperation and go out and make some friends.

    What's the worst that is going to happen? You look desperate and don't make friends.. then never see those people again or you appear friendly and make a lot of friends.

    Honestly, I don't think making friends is the answer for you. You keep saying negative things about yourself and your life.. until you can improve your image of yourself, then cute factor or not, no one is going to want to be your friend.
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    Nov 01, 2011 7:06 AM GMT
    ThePenIsMyTier said
    Ariodante saidI drove two hours - in costume - to meet up with someone for Halloween and got stood up. That was my Halloween. You don't see me depressed or whining.


    You should drive 5, with no costume (or clothes). I wont stand you up.


    sounds chilly....and thrilly!
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    Nov 01, 2011 12:24 PM GMT
    Ariodante saidI drove two hours - in costume - to meet up with someone for Halloween and got stood up. That was my Halloween. You don't see me depressed or whining.


    lol. You are like one of the popular and good looking guys here. It's so unbelievable that you would get stood up. What kind of guys are you chasing after? Details please. Even better - make a thread whining and telling us how depressed you are. icon_lol.gif
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    Nov 01, 2011 12:25 PM GMT
    imcaius saidSome people are more lucky than others. Some people like me are less fortunate. I have a rather unhappy life. I didn't get to do anything at all for Halloween except look at everyones pictures that Facebook is shoving down my throat via my news feed. I'm so tired of being the audience for the happy parade. People that are lucky don't understand when I don't smile or act chipper over any and everything. "Where's your smile" is something I have to hear constantly and it drives me nuts. Why do some people act as if I'm supposed to put on a public show as to not disrupt the perfect happy bubble some people live in?


    You don't have to act fake happy, but on the other hand this sad sack act will really turn most people off.

    Also, no one is "perfect happy." Your view of the happiness of others is skewed. Most of us have our issues but are just trying to make the best of what we have.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Nov 01, 2011 12:28 PM GMT
    Life is what you make of it.... if you are unhappy with it, YOU must take the initiative to change it. We all occasionally look at others and think they have more. The reality is, we all control our lives and you have the capability to change it.

    I am one of the happy ones.. .and it has nothing to do with luck.
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    Nov 01, 2011 12:33 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidLife is what you make of it.... if you are unhappy with it, YOU must take the initiative to change it. We all occasionally look at others and think they have more. The reality is, we all control our lives and you have the capability to change it.

    I am one of the happy ones.. .and it has nothing to do with luck.


    That too. I get completely torqued up when guys go on about how "lucky" we are. Luck plays a part but most of it can be chalked up to hard work. Good advice.
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    Nov 01, 2011 12:33 PM GMT
    imcaius saidI just wished him a happy birthday today. He had well over 50 birthday wishes on Facebook. I got 5 this year. As far as trying to hang out with him, I'm not about to chase him. If a guy wants me around he'll match my effort.


    That's only 20 years of your experience talking. Dont fret over something so trivial as facebook wishes (when you are my age with 600 people on your facebook and at least 200 of them "wishing" you a happy birthday you will realize it does not mean anything. Again, a handful of those 600 people are my actual "friends" really. I would rather not have them wish me) May be this guy just knows more people than you do. Take that as a example and go meet more people.

    There's nothing wrong in chasing someone to show you are really interested in them. Just dont go overboard and creep them out. Sometimes you should just listen to your heart; helps keep all the drama away. Cheer up now! icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 01, 2011 12:35 PM GMT
    You sound bitter and jaded. You need to work on that. It sounds like you are jealous of people who are able to go out and have fun by doing things because they go out and do things. Nothing is stopping you but you from going out and having a smile put on your face even if you have do it yourself (often preferred). You are your own worst enemy in this case. Try being a friend to yourself.

    No one is asking you to fake a smile when others are happy and in your presence. You might not know this but most people like to share their happiness with others who they feel will appreciate it and might benefit from it. Try making yourself happy and try sharing it with others. You'll be better for it.
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    Nov 01, 2011 12:37 PM GMT
    first step is to stop feeling sorry for yourself- because no one will
    second step is to do something about it - the world will never understand or see you unless you put yourself out there
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    Nov 01, 2011 12:40 PM GMT
    i did laundry and ate yogurt and watched casper

    i also deactivated my facebook 5 days ago
    i wanted to cause i feel everything with my friends has gotten boring. if there isnt conversation among us were stting on our phones face booking. and because everything goes on facebook we have nothing interesting to talk about that hasnt already been disscused on face book.




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    Nov 01, 2011 12:43 PM GMT
    Ariodante said
    ThePenIsMyTier said
    Ariodante saidI drove two hours - in costume - to meet up with someone for Halloween and got stood up. That was my Halloween. You don't see me depressed or whining.


    You should drive 5, with no costume (or clothes). I wont stand you up.


    sounds chilly....and thrilly!


    Sounds like some shrinkage to me lol

    Seriously in response to the OP, I wish I was 20 again and took more chances instead of hanging out in my room for all those years avoiding things. The gammit of social media available these days provides so many opportunities that werent available years ago. You are so young and have the best years of your life in front of you - so stay positive and don't get into a situation where you wake up one day when your an old man and wish you had taken a chance when you were younger.