The best thing your Father taught you?

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    Nov 02, 2011 9:09 AM GMT
    What was it?

    I don't talk to my dad now, but he was a pretty solid father growing up, involved. It was only when he got older he went 'crazy' and started making poor decisions.

    We always lived in construction, he never stopped renovating any house we lived in. So when I moved out on my own, I had this thing about living in a clean finished space. This week I started renovating my house, floors, kitchen, and removing a wall upstairs and I realized what the best thing he ever taught me was... How NOT to renovate.

    First I made sure I had all the building supplies I needed, or have the money to get them since I don't have a lot of storage space. Researched what I needed to do (this is my first do-it-yourself reno, and having a blast so far), bought the PROPER equipment (Yay safety goggles, I bet if my dad had bought those he wouldn't be left with 1 eye that only works at like 20%). AND I made sure I had people to contact for info when I got stuck.

    So far half of my floors are ripped up and new ones are ready to go back down, I took down 95% of a wall and braced what is being kept, moved the wiring and hopefully will drywall it today. Kitchen cupboards are all ready to order and I can;t wait to rip out the old ones and put it in.

    Every step so far has been, "what would dad do?" and then I think out the proper way icon_razz.gif Really this is my first project, and as much as I learned how to drywall and wire I found the best thing I learned from were all his mistakes, its been pretty painless and clean so far. I would actually call him and say thanks if it didn't mean having to talk to him lol.

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    Nov 02, 2011 9:30 AM GMT
    It is nice when little boys can learn things from their dads icon_smile.gif And definitely needed!
    In my case I can't really share anything, since all I learned from my dad was how to get drunk as fast as possible ....
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    Nov 02, 2011 9:45 AM GMT
    That anyone can turn their life around.

    Also, hit first, hit hard.
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    Nov 02, 2011 9:47 AM GMT
    "Robert, to be successful and content in life, remember the Rule of Three B's:

    Always be on good terms with your banker, your barber, and your bartender."
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    Nov 02, 2011 9:50 AM GMT
    The best thing my dad taught me...

    That faithfulness doesn't just happen: faithfulness is a choice. Whether to your job, to your children, to your God, or to your spouse, you choose to be faithful, you choose to nurture those relationships, and you choose to work through the hard times and make the most of the best times.
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    Nov 02, 2011 10:09 AM GMT
    Overall message was to be honest and treat people right.


  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Nov 02, 2011 10:32 AM GMT
    quotes from Dad:

    "never complain, never explain.....just do what has to be done".

    "a woman is just your wife, but your mother gave you life."

    "feminine logic is a contradiction of terms".

    "a joint checking account is 'married man's alimony' "

    "middle class men live lives of quiet desperation"

    "like many, but love only one at a time"

    "God has a strange, perverse sense of humor"


    more when i think of them.
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    Nov 02, 2011 10:37 AM GMT
    My dad was kind of an asshole, so I guess.. maybe how not to be an asshole icon_razz.gif
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    Nov 02, 2011 10:39 AM GMT
    How to run a business. icon_smile.gif
    teach a man to fish and all that.
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    Nov 02, 2011 10:44 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidIf you're gay, be the best damn gay guy you can be.


    you had a great dad......icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 02, 2011 10:47 AM GMT
    adam228 saidMy dad was kind of an asshole, so I guess.. maybe how not to be an asshole icon_razz.gif



    I can relate to that, I try not to be or do negative things. I am a positive happy person for it.
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    Nov 02, 2011 10:58 AM GMT
    Ermmm, in a roundabout way;

    Finish what you start. If you have a goal, see it through. Good ideas are only worth the effort you put into them.
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    Nov 02, 2011 11:02 AM GMT
    Hilldweller said
    adam228 saidMy dad was kind of an asshole, so I guess.. maybe how not to be an asshole icon_razz.gif



    I can relate to that, I try not to be or do negative things. I am a positive happy person for it.


    Just found out a few days ago (via Google) that he died June 25th, 1999. No contact with him since I was a teenager. I called him when I was 21, but the woman he was living with answered and after a couple minutes came back to the phone and told me that he did not want to talk to me. Pride, I guess.

    I hope your pride and stubborness were a consolation to you, Dad, as you looked back on your life.

    icon_sad.gif
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    Nov 02, 2011 11:12 AM GMT
    turbobilly said
    Hilldweller said
    adam228 saidMy dad was kind of an asshole, so I guess.. maybe how not to be an asshole icon_razz.gif



    I can relate to that, I try not to be or do negative things. I am a positive happy person for it.


    Just found out a few days ago (via Google) that he died June 25th, 1999. No contact with him since I was a teenager. I called him when I was 21, but the woman he was living with answered and after a couple minutes came back to the phone and told me that he did not want to talk to me. Pride, I guess.

    I hope your pride and stubborness were a consolation to you, Dad, as you looked back on your life.

    icon_sad.gif




    Sorry bud, it's shame shit has to go that way. We are great people.
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    Nov 02, 2011 11:20 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Hilldweller said
    yourname2000 saidIf you're gay, be the best damn gay guy you can be.


    you had a great dad......icon_biggrin.gif

    umm....yeah. So, this would be the guy who beat the shit out of my ma and she divorced him when I was 2...he went and got drunk instead of getting my name filled out so mom did it in her maiden name.

    I reconnected with the guy at 18 and moved in with him and his new family for a few months while working for him before we jetted off to work in some project he had in Jordan. We had a layover in London England where he found out I was gay by having me followed the 2nd night I didn't come back to the London Hilton on Park Lane ('cos I was out at Heaven working on getting laid --success!) And he threw a hissy-fit, disowned me on the spot, and left me with whatever money I had and a return ticket to Canada (that he had modified from Ottawa to Vancouver), and didn't even pay me my last pay cheque with him. I stayed with my beautiful Scottish fuck for 2 weeks before going back to Vancouver and sat depressed in English Bay for another 2 weeks until some old friends found me and got me restarted on life. A month after that, my dad sent a letter to the address I gave his wife to send all my stuff to and in that letter he apologized (sort of) and said that phrase.

    So I don't really know the guy; he's a total prick from what I do know; but that technically is "the best thing he ever said"...it just happens to be pretty good.


    Eh, he said it, but he didn't teach you this. He taught you the horrible effects a controlling and neglectful father could have on a son... Thankfully you've overcome them, it seems.
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    Nov 02, 2011 11:25 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Hilldweller said
    yourname2000 saidIf you're gay, be the best damn gay guy you can be.


    you had a great dad......icon_biggrin.gif

    umm....yeah. So, this would be the guy who beat the shit out of my ma and she divorced him when I was 2...he went and got drunk instead of getting my name filled out so mom did it in her maiden name.

    I reconnected with the guy at 18 and moved in with him and his new family for a few months while working for him before we jetted off to work in some project he had in Jordan. We had a layover in London England where he found out I was gay by having me followed the 2nd night I didn't come back to the London Hilton on Park Lane ('cos I was out at Heaven working on getting laid --success!) And he threw a hissy-fit, disowned me on the spot, and left me with whatever money I had and a return ticket to Canada (that he had modified from Ottawa to Vancouver), and didn't even pay me my last pay cheque with him. I stayed with my beautiful Scottish fuck for 2 weeks before going back to Vancouver and sat depressed in English Bay for another 2 weeks until some old friends found me and got me restarted on life. A month after that, my dad sent a letter to the address I gave his wife to send all my stuff to and in that letter he apologized (sort of) and said that phrase.

    So I don't really know the guy; he's a total prick from what I do know; but that technically is "the best thing he ever said"...it just happens to be pretty good.



    Damn, I am an ass. I speak too soon sometimes. I am sorry for my stupidness.
    That would be terrible having that happen.
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    Nov 02, 2011 11:29 AM GMT
    I learned to be the opposite of what he is.
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    Nov 02, 2011 11:36 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said@ThePenis... and @Hildw: yeah, I learned what I didn't want to be. But I think that's what a lot of kids learn from their fathers: "I'm never gonna be like that", lol. It's a pretty good lesson, really. icon_biggrin.gif


    @Yourname: Everyone abbreviates my name "ThePenis".

    Every damned time.

    I'm changing it.
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    Nov 02, 2011 11:38 AM GMT
    i have two children.... my son is in college and we are pretty close. My daughter is having severe problems. her mother and I are best friends, but I basically have custody because I live in the best school district...

    we had a huge fight last night because 15 year old girls are fucking insane and prone to enormous emotional outbursts and mood swings that are out of their control. I am normallyl very very calm, but it was bad last night.

    reading the stories of destructive dads rededicates me to trying to do the best job I possibly can. While I sometimes want to give up and say, "go live with your mother" i realize that this period in our lives is important. those of you without children have no fucking idea how hard it is.... and add to that a difficult child and you cannot imagine. you dont want to come home at night because there is no rest, no peace.

    but i read about what you guys think of your fathers and i never, ever want my chidlren to look back and say, "my dad was an asshole"... thanks for this thread. I should fight the good fight and do what needs to be done.
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    Nov 02, 2011 11:40 AM GMT
    How to be a true man... Being utterly faithful to your family, possess a strong work ethic, and to live with integrity and honesty.

    Oh, and to wash your privates daily. Especially that.
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    Nov 02, 2011 11:49 AM GMT
    Alpha_Muscle saidi have two children.... my son is in college and we are pretty close. My daughter is having severe problems. her mother and I are best friends, but I basically have custody because I live in the best school district...

    we had a huge fight last night because 15 year old girls are fucking insane and prone to enormous emotional outbursts and mood swings that are out of their control. I am normallyl very very calm, but it was bad last night.

    reading the stories of destructive dads rededicates me to trying to do the best job I possibly can. While I sometimes want to give up and say, "go live with your mother" i realize that this period in our lives is important. those of you without children have no fucking idea how hard it is.... and add to that a difficult child and you cannot imagine. you dont want to come home at night because there is no rest, no peace.

    but i read about what you guys think of your fathers and i never, ever want my chidlren to look back and say, "my dad was an asshole"... thanks for this thread. I should fight the good fight and do what needs to be done.


    Alpha, as much as you may try, the BEST way to be a good father is to simply lead a good life... Whatever that may mean for you.

    The fights I had with my father, the INSANE arguments (He is certifiable..), the immense differences, none of that shaped who I am today...

    What really helped shape me and the decisions I made was looking at the way my parents lived their lives. My dad was the only example of a man I had. Not sure how to go about a relationship? OH, how did DAD do it? (Not very well? Okay I'll resort to trial and error, then icon_sad.gif )

    Remember that nobody is perfect! You'll fight hundreds more times... But she will remember what you stand for as a person - not what you said to her on November 2nd, 2011. We are all better for our flaws. Admit vulnerability to your daughter. I know I wish I could've known my father was just a human. Maybe then I would've been more comfortable opening up my feelings and struggles to him growing up.

    Just my 2 cents. I hope I can be a father some day.
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    Nov 02, 2011 11:54 AM GMT
    Unlike some here, I had a great dad and miss him.

    The thing I remember most was something he use to quote: "Get every dime you earn, but make certain you earn every dime you get."

    He also was from the old school and said there's three things you never ask another man: 1. how much he paid for something, 2. how many acres he owns, 3. how many head of cattle he owns.

    He taught us many things, but those two have always stayed with me.
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    Nov 02, 2011 11:58 AM GMT
    "Frere Jaques" on the piano when I was five... that was teh start of a LOOOOONG musical career icon_razz.gif
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Nov 02, 2011 12:00 PM GMT
    always shake with a firm grip
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    Nov 02, 2011 12:03 PM GMT
    calibro saidalways shake with a firm grip


    I generally use a loose grip, shake until dry...

    Nobody was there to teach me about that single last drop, though. I still don't know how to avoid the inevitable post-corralling droplette. Gets me every time.