This is why the gay community fails at experiencing love...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 03, 2011 1:30 AM GMT
    gay men who are advocating for sluttyness seem to only draw their points from bashing others who are into monogamy, rather than highlighting what they see as beneficial in a slutty lifestyle.

    The thing is, there is NO advantage to a slutty life style...
    I am a versatile, I love topping and bottoming and have done both... I find that you can still enjoy experiencing both topping and bottoming if you find the RIGHT man who is also a vers... or a switch.... even better.

    so the claim that sluttyness gives you more exposure to sex is false... BECAUSE (read the next point).

    if you want SEX... and lots of it... you can do that in a monogamous relationship... frequent sex with the same guy....

    you want emotions? monogamy is the way to go.

    you want stability and lack of feeling like you are being played? .... MONOGAMY is the WAY TO GO.


    You want to feel like you are another number? go fuck randoms... if you're happy.. great! but don't BASH MONOGAMY... cuz BITCH... I WILL TAKE YOU DOWN.
  • tennsjock

    Posts: 349

    Nov 03, 2011 3:48 AM GMT
    To make a blanket judgement about "the gay community" after only 18 years of life experience requires quite a bit of hubris.

    Actually, to be fair, it takes a certain amount of hubris at any age. We're a pretty diverse community, comprising so many different cultures, religions, ethnicities, backgrounds, etc. It's hard to lump us all together and say "the problem with the gay community is..."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 03, 2011 3:51 AM GMT
    Hubris may be putting in nicely. He could have just bumped up his other thread. He decided to start another one, as if we didn't hear him the first time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 03, 2011 3:53 AM GMT
    Go%20away%20-%20The%20Internet%20is%20fu

    I post this at risk of making myself look bad, because I am sick of trying to use reason with you.

    We are through attacking your stance, never really were.

    It's your APPROACH that needs help, buddy. Stop.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 03, 2011 3:57 AM GMT
    Mo's great, but he gets in these judgmental moods and goes off on a tear. Dare I say it - generalizing. We've been through this before.

    He's a good kid. But he do like to argue. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 03, 2011 4:12 AM GMT



    SHUT



    THE



    FUCK



    UP



    YOU



    DUMB



    CUNT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 03, 2011 4:13 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidI've sat quietly on the sidelines long enough on this, hoping the thread would just die. Alas, here we are.

    There is nothing to clear up, Mo. You're 18 and based on your (limited) experience, "being a slut" is bad. For you.

    I have to remind you that in the last year, you've been 100% top and 100% monogamous to 100% bottom and in an open relationship; and now (that you've had a little more experience) you're 50/50 vers and into monogamy again. I can only wonder where you'll be 6 months from now.

    All of these dogmatic rules you're creating are only boxing YOU into a corner...I envision another apology thread in your future when you realize that you want to do something you've been railing against and criticizing others for doing. So stop it...you're only placing meaningless limits on yourself.

    If you don't want to fuck a slutty guy, don't fuck a slutty guy. Odds are they don't want to fuck someone as rigidly opinionated as you are right now anyway, so what's the problem?

    It takes all kinds to fill a world. Enjoy all of these people living different lives than you...they are examples of different ways to live YOUR life; they extend the possibilities for your life (if only by providing examples of who you DON'T want to be.) They set you apart from the crowd, and make you more unique to the guys who do want to date you.

    You are way too young to be thinking that you have all of the answers. Can you imagine if a 13yo was criticizing you for your decisions? --would you really listen to a 13yo? With that in mind, I would suggest NOT judging 30 and 40yos on their actions: you really don't know what collection of experiences is driving them to make the decisions they are making.

    Bottom line, they have to live their lives and you have to live yours. What works for you is not a one-sized fits all solution (not even for you...you've been 3 different people in the last year.)

    Stop this. You seem even more opinionated and dogmatic than you were a year ago. I see that as a bad sign...usually (from my experience) the more I've learned, the more I realize how little I actually know. It's actually quite freeing when you surrender the need for the world to make sense to you.
  • Scorpio1113

    Posts: 90

    Nov 03, 2011 3:06 PM GMT
    tennsjock saidTo make a blanket judgement about "the gay community" after only 18 years of life experience..."


    I don't know. I believe that younger gay guys are experiencing the "gay community" differently than the older ones. When I went to gay pride, I was surprised to see so many young gays. We, younger gay people, have had a chance to connect more rapidly with the gay community. Through Internet and social acceptance, possibly? But I agree, more experience before making such an assumption is never a bad thing. And a easily readily connection to the "gay community" doesn't mean it can create an efficient assumption
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 03, 2011 3:10 PM GMT
    yourname2000 said

    If you don't want to fuck a slutty guy, don't fuck a slutty guy. Odds are they don't want to fuck someone as rigidly opinionated as you are right now anyway, so what's the problem?


    Something to look into... how does sluttiness correlate with opnionatedness?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 03, 2011 3:13 PM GMT
    Wow I am the best shit stirrer on the planet. Then again this has gotten so far out of control I can't even connect it to my original post calling him a Victorian aged woman.

    Eh, he has made his decision. I find it funny that the monogamy brigade can't say a reason why monogamy is better other than bashing us "sluts" yet accuse us of the same thing. It's a tiny world to live in when you shut off others opinions for no reason.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 03, 2011 3:14 PM GMT
    HIDDEN/DELETED MEMBER = SCARED BITCH
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 03, 2011 3:19 PM GMT
    Maybe cuz most of them putting sex as 1st priority ?!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 03, 2011 3:24 PM GMT
    Moho,

    I can completely understand where you are coming from, and somewhere at the core of what you are saying is a very valid argument.....but you take that argument and wrap it up in a tone that can come off as kind of pedantic, and that's the real reason that you get attacked so much. IT's fine for you to have your ideas, and even to throw them out there.....but you can't push your particular vision of the gay lifestyle as the holy grail and expect a round of applause.

    And all of you guys who are talking about how is is 18, are talking out of both sides of your mouth.

    If you are going to negate his opinion because he is a kid, then you should treat him with the care and guidance that you as a "mature experienced gay man" are able to offer. It's kind of like shooting at a puppy with a machine gun. If you deem the guy worthy of attack, then you shouldn't attack him based on his age.

    I can kind of identify with what he's saying. To be honest, as a young gay guy who hasn't had sex yet, I encounter a lot of gay men who have very rich sexual histories but still seem to be very unhappy. I'm not saying all but I am saying a lot.....and let's not bullshit, you guys know that's true too.

    So as someone who essentially has a clean slate, (mohos is pretty clean too), there is a decision to be made about what road we want to go down as far as love and sex is concerned. Now it might not even be that deep, but since we see it that way....it kind of is.

    You look at someone like meninlove who is by far the most put together, secure, psychologically stable person on RJ or Art_Deco who is beating cancer with a shit-ton of support from his partner and you think to yourself "what do I have to do to get there..." Because most guys having hookup after hookup are not nearly as happy in the end.

    He only attacks the lifestyles of people who have casual sex all the time because he feels like his own personal phillosophy about love and sex is constantly under assault. So if you really believe that he is that immature and you are vastly superior in knowledge and experience, then just ignore him and give him time to figure out who he wants to be.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 03, 2011 3:29 PM GMT
    dekiruman saidMoho,

    I can completely understand where you are coming from, and somewhere at the core of what you are saying is a very valid argument.....but you take that argument and wrap it up in a tone that can come off as kind of pedantic, and that's the real reason that you get attacked so much. IT's fine for you to have your ideas, and even to throw them out there.....but you can't push your particular vision of the gay lifestyle as the holy grail and expect a round of applause.

    And all of you guys who are talking about how is is 18, are talking out of both sides of your mouth.

    If you are going to negate his opinion because he is a kid, then you should treat him with the care and guidance that you as a "mature experienced gay man" are able to offer. It's kind of like shooting at a puppy with a machine gun. If you deem the guy worthy of attack, then you shouldn't attack him based on his age.

    I can kind of identify with what he's saying. To be honest, as a young gay guy who hasn't had sex yet, I encounter a lot of gay men who have very rich sexual histories but still seem to be very unhappy. I'm not saying all but I am saying a lot.....and let's not bullshit, you guys know that's true too.

    So as someone who essentially has a clean slate, (mohos is pretty clean too), there is a decision to be made about what road we want to go down as far as love and sex is concerned. Now it might not even be that deep, but since we see it that way....it kind of is.

    You look at someone like meninlove who is by far the most put together, secure, psychologically stable person on RJ or Art_Deco who is beating cancer with a shit-ton of support from his partner and you think to yourself "what do I have to do to get there..." Because most guys having hookup after hookup are not nearly as happy in the end.

    He only attacks the lifestyles of people who have casual sex all the time because he feels like his own personal phillosophy about love and sex is constantly under assault. So if you really believe that he is that immature and you are vastly superior in knowledge and experience, then just ignore him and give him time to figure out who he wants to be.


    Deki I agree. I see people who hook up all the time and are very unhappy then I see people in relationships who are very unhappy as well. Sex and monogamy does not lead to happiness, it is much much deeper than that. At the same time you and mo are allowed to have your opinions. Mo gets attacked because he starts threads saying (note translating here and generalizing) "I'm better than you because I want a monogamous relationship to last forever and if you have casual sex then you are just an STD filled dirty slut!". Of course he is going to get attacked, you say something like that then people are going to get pissed off.

    Some of his brigade took it a step further to say "if you have HIV you deserve it" which is just outrageous! It's not his opinion, it's his approach and argument that makes us mad.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 03, 2011 3:33 PM GMT
    Let me be the first to apologies for you running into those types of gays. Not all of us are like what you posted. As a gay man in the "gay community" we all have our own insight on what we call love and what type of sexual lifestyle we choose whether it be monogamous or free love. But for you to include me and the rest of us who are not like the negative insult you put us under, I believe you owe us an apology. I hope you find what your looking for in life but don't judge us all. It's bad enough we're all being judge by religious people and politics on a daily basis.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 03, 2011 3:48 PM GMT
    Meh.
    Why all the strong feelings on both sides?
    So the OP advocates monogamy?
    It's like being between two guys in the locker room who want to discuss which football team has it together better. Neither guy is gonna win and has no vested interest in convincing the other.
    So who gives a rodent's behind?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 03, 2011 3:49 PM GMT
    I dunno guys, no doubt I'm showing my age, and gonna catch a lot of flak. But...

    I cuddle with a guy, I spoon naked with him, and I'm in a different universe. At least for those few hours. I feel his skin against mine, and all is well. I need nothing more in life at that moment.

    Why do some gay men complicate things? One of my personal mottos is:

    "Life wants to be good to you -- if only you know how to let it."

    At times I think we are our own worst enemy. I don't understand all this internal conflict, which is, in the final analysis, largely self-induced.

    INTEND to be happy, and you WILL be happy. The rest is all details.

    If you start as a success, you will be a success. Only the failures fail. And that determination is all in your own mind. It isn't circumstance, it isn't luck, it is YOU.

    I remember a phrase "You are what you eat." A corollary would be: "You are what you think." Many gay men need to adjust their thinking, yes?
  • SirEllingtonB...

    Posts: 497

    Nov 03, 2011 3:57 PM GMT
    AejA87 saidLet me be the first to apologies for you running into those types of gays. Not all of us are like what you posted. As a gay man in the "gay community" we all have our own insight on what we call love and what type of sexual lifestyle we choose whether it be monogamous or free love. But for you to include me and the rest of us who are not like the negative insult you put us under, I believe you owe us an apology. I hope you find what your looking for in life but don't judge us all. It's bad enough we're all being judge by religious people and politics on a daily basis.


    I apologize for nothing. Unless you're having sex with that person you have no say or business in their sex life. It is their choice to have sex with whomever they want whenever they want, just as it is your choice to be monogamous. Throwing such a judgmental blanket statement about all gay men is not only ignorant but childish.

    We all have a lot to learn, there's always more room for growth. As yourname200 pointed out you have the option to, "Enjoy all of these people living different lives than you...they are examples of different ways to live YOUR life; they extend the possibilities for your life (if only by providing examples of who you DON'T want to be.)"

    Now, if you don't want to partake in this human experience then I suggest you close your senses to world because there are a lot of other things with which you are sure to disagree and no one wants to hear your yapping.

    "I’m a cock-sucker! I’m queer! And to anyone who takes pity or offense, I say, “judge yourself.” This is where I live. This is who I am." - Brian Kinney
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 03, 2011 4:02 PM GMT
    dekiruman said
    He only attacks the lifestyles of people who have casual sex all the time because he feels like his own personal phillosophy about love and sex is constantly under assault. So if you really believe that he is that immature and you are vastly superior in knowledge and experience, then just ignore him and give him time to figure out who he wants to be.


    Let's be real. Mo feels under attack not because he is, but because he gets in these states where he can't see anyone who has a different opinion, or who lives differently, as anything other than an attack on him. So he lashes out. With predictable results. It's a behavior that he needs to get under control, no matter where he ends up in life.

    His immaturity has nothing to do with his personal philosophy of love and sex, really. There are plenty of guys here who are one-man kinda guys.