Come out of the closet or not come out of the closet is the question..

  • Matt2004

    Posts: 26

    Nov 03, 2011 4:39 AM GMT
    I go to a community college, and everyone thinks am gay or implies that am gay but i tell them am not because of the fear of rejection or they will make funny of me more than my everyday being criticized for me being me..

    They make fun of me loving Britney Spears...I somehow and turn a regular conversation and turn it into Britney Spears conversation...Someone can spell something and say "Opps!" than I will shout out "I did it Again" ..People would shake their head with disbelief like..WOW and laugh and being emotional and call me ..girly...so much more insults

    The thing is I have one more semester left than i transfer to a different school. If I tell them I might close friends and feel ackward for the whole semester or not tell them ...be alright until I transfer to a different school!
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    Nov 03, 2011 11:28 AM GMT
    If people have figured out you are gay....(and trust me they can and do it very well) why don't you just embrace it and start living out of the shadows already.
    Its hard to believe sometimes coming from a restrictive background...but you will feel and live and breathe better living out and open. Trust is hard to come by especially if you have lived in a fearful world. Let go already...you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. Another school, another city, another job won't help. Live now where you are.
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    Nov 03, 2011 12:59 PM GMT
    Even if you have lied when confronted about being gay - the people that matter will still respect and love you.


    People know the fear that drives people to lie and stay closeted, and generally wont fault you for it. They may be shocked at first, but they wil get used to it. You'll love the freedom!
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    Nov 03, 2011 1:09 PM GMT
    You need a new set of people to hang out with. These people are not friends, they aren't even friendly no has the right to make you feel non-plus.
    I take it they are all str8 male also. If they are what do you expect these are str8 men they can't relate to you being gay! Thank God that all my male friends are gay...eh!


    As far as coming out if you are happy living you're life in the closet, then stay in there...I personally don't get grown men livivng their life in fear of people how have really no power over them.
    If you aren't happy living your life in the closet really...then how can coming out being any worse then where you are now...come on now seriously. "Take the Shackle off your FEET, so you can dance"! Those are lyrics from an old Mary-Mary song.

    Good luck to you.icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 03, 2011 8:07 PM GMT
    Just come on out. The feeling is great, it's like walking on air. It's a lot easier to come out to friends instead of your family. The more you try to tell them that ur straight, the harder for you to come out later, that will just make the joke bigger.
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    Nov 03, 2011 8:12 PM GMT
    it doesnt matter, it wont change your life.
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    Nov 03, 2011 8:12 PM GMT
    It's NOT even an option:
    COME OUT.
    It's YOUR LIFE, Not theirs.
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    Nov 03, 2011 8:57 PM GMT
    I think coming out is a personal decision but I will advise you that living openly will give you more freedom and sense of empowerment than not coming out.
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    Nov 03, 2011 8:59 PM GMT
    Do whatever you feel is right
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    Nov 03, 2011 9:00 PM GMT
    Never be ashamed of loving Britney haha.
    And do what's easiest for you.
    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 03, 2011 9:09 PM GMT
    Nobody has ever lost friends by coming out of the closet. They have, however, lost close-minded bigots that they thought were friends (this includes family members who don't accept it - fuck'em).
  • RadonJason

    Posts: 2

    Nov 04, 2011 9:28 AM GMT
    Start with telling some close friends, trust me its extremely difficult, but ones youve told someone it gets easier each time. Then you can tell your family and pretty soon when people ask you youll be so casual about it. I came out when i was 16 in High School and trust me that my life has improved greatly and i even gained more friends!
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    Nov 04, 2011 8:16 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidNobody has ever lost friends by coming out of the closet. They have, however, lost close-minded bigots that they thought were friends (this includes family members who don't accept it - fuck'em).


    +1
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    Nov 05, 2011 12:11 AM GMT
    Your spelling is atrocious; how are you in college?
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    Nov 05, 2011 12:24 AM GMT
    “The closet is nothing, first of all, if not the product of complex relations of power. The only reason to be in the closet is to protect oneself from the many and virulent sorts of social disqualification that one would suffer were the discreditable fact of one’s sexual orientation become more widely known. To 'closet' one’s homosexuality is also to submit oneself to the social imperative imposed on gay people by non-gay-identified people, the imperative to shield the latter not from the knowledge of one’s homosexuality so much as from the necessity of acknowledging of one’s homosexuality. The experience of the closet, then, is hardly an experience of freedom (although the closet certainly does afford its occupants an otherwise unattainable latitude and admits them to some of the privileges reserved for those who are heterosexually identified). By contrast, if there is something self-affirming and indeed liberating about coming out of the closet, that is not because coming out enables one to emerge from a state of servitude into a state of untrammeled liberty. On the contrary: to come out is precisely to expose oneself to a different set of dangers and constraints, to make oneself into a convenient screen onto which straight people can project all fantasies they routinely entertain about gay people, and to suffer one’s every gesture, statement, expression, and opinion to be totally and irrevocably marked by the overwhelming social significance of one’s openly acknowledged homosexual identity. If to come out is to release oneself from a state of unfreedom, that is not because coming out constitutes an escape from the reach of power to a place outside of power: rather, coming out puts into play a different set of power relations and alters the dynamics of personal and political struggle. Coming out is an act of freedom, then, not in the sense of liberation but in the sense of resistance.”

    –David Halperin, Saint Foucault: Towards a Gay Hagiography
  • TheIStrat

    Posts: 777

    Nov 05, 2011 12:29 AM GMT
    Dump those assholes and make new friends. I had to do that when I decided to come out when I was a sophomore in college. Best decision I could have made concerning coming out and my friendships
  • jeggey

    Posts: 50

    Nov 05, 2011 12:30 AM GMT
    It all depends on your situation for example my family all know except my dad who has some medical conditions, when he gets stressed he can have very severe seizures. So I haven't come out to him although I am dropping little hints. Think about your situation and make the best decision accordingly.
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    Nov 05, 2011 12:58 AM GMT
    Matt2004 saidI go to a community college, and everyone thinks am gay or implies that am gay but i tell them am not because of the fear of rejection or they will make funny of me more than my everyday being criticized for me being me..

    They make fun of me loving Britney Spears...I somehow and turn a regular conversation and turn it into Britney Spears conversation...Someone can spell something and say "Opps!" than I will shout out "I did it Again" ..People would shake their head with disbelief like..WOW and laugh and being emotional and call me ..girly...so much more insults

    The thing is I have one more semester left than i transfer to a different school. If I tell them I might close friends and feel ackward for the whole semester or not tell them ...be alright until I transfer to a different school!

    oi mate....be yourself...you like britney spears...its your life, what you like is what you like...simple as it is....FUCK whoever dislikes your way of living!! if they can't accept you for who you are then its not your friends. sorry for being so agg but its your life & I hate to see people judge. be happy & be yourself!! good luck mateicon_razz.gif